OOC Raves

Synbios

You poor human, you. My greatest condolences.

Tvistor

DON'T GET DISTRACTED SYNBIOS, YOUR DEMISE REMAINS IMMINENT.

Worry not my Asian companion, in the spirit of Targossian camaraderie, I will attempt to assist you in the evasion of this female unit. In the spirit of science, I have compiled a formidable list of actions that I believe one must constantly take in the presence of suspected female assassins.

ONE: You need to constantly suggest that something is 'too small'. I have found this to be extremely effective in warding away the approaches of female assassins. I can only assume it is for one of the following reasons:

a) The Russian embassy has discovered you have the nuclear launch codes, but are under the impression the information storage unit you are keeping it on is too small to be located without your help. This means you are permitted to live another day as they prepare the torture chamber.

b) The female unit in question is simply seeking to devour your soul, which she will now be convinced is too small to provide sufficient nourishment to risk an encounter with your local Ghostbusters chapter.

TWO: If the female unit asks if any clothing makes them appear to be less attractive, you must reply YES immediately. As the vast majority of the population would reply NO out of kindness, this has made YES the perfect codeword. Do not elaborate. It helps if you snarl contemptuously to further establish your hatred of the capitalist machine (because it's always Russians).

THREE: Constantly puzzle over simple questions aloud to ensure the female unit is aware of where you are going at all times. This will put her at ease, and you may be able to escape later when you need to most urgently.

GODSPEED, SIR SYNBIOS.

Ruth

Not sure if I'll call it a rave exactly since it means Steam is going to make me poorer.. But woot, Steam Summer Sale! At this rate, I'll never be able to finish playing all of the games I've gotten.

Also, @Yang for Binding of Isaac. Mutual game gift exchange time!

Seftin

@synbios i have some advice for evading capture and or assasination.

Step 1:

buy her flowers - not only will this initially distract her allowing for swift escape - but if you research correctly you can find some which give off a poisonous pollen. Alternatively supply a species called Lilys which in the human colony of Britain is the flower of choice for human burial. It is a two pronged approach, the flowers evoking the thouht of her own demise whilst also flashbacks of any dead friends or family. Make sure you buy healthy flowers as these when these decay it will be more noticable - a clear warning to her of what will happen if she should try to assassinate you.

Step 2

Take her out for drinks, a human location. Consume the beverages whilst maintaining eye contact. Ensure you consume a beverage with a high level ofthe toxin Alcohol. This will let her know you are immune to poisons and can withstand an attempt to kill you through such methods. It will also unnerve her resolve - a public place lets her know she cant strike you down, however attending alone with her shows you are not affraid and understand her plans and intentions. Ensure you make suggestive small talk about her plans - referring to anime refferences of veiled assassination attempts that innevitably lead to failure.

Step 3

Possibly the most important step. Ensure you get the details of her telecomunication device or as humans refer to it, a cell or mobile phone. This allows you to start tracing her movements and at any time you feel she may be about to strike, call the number to startle her, thus revealing her location and eliminating any element of ambush and suprise.

Good luck, Synbios.

Ruth

You forgot the essential bit in your ending line, Seftin.

GOOD LUCK @SYNBIOS, MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU.

Erasariel

No, it's "live long and prosper".

Mishgul

Just punch her in the face, works for me all the time.

Seftin

Synbios is not one of our fictional human characters, children.

Synbios

I tried all of your advice, humans, and...well...

@Tvistor: Following your advice, I went to the Russian government and interrogated them using the ancient techniques that won me an Oscar Awards for 'Best Eldritch Actor' and 'TENTACLES DO NOT BEND THAT WAY' in Urotsukidoji. They denied sending any assassins after me, so the Commie theory just hit a tentacled dead-end.

@Seftin: Funny you should mention 'public' and 'eating out'. I just realized that my nemesis's connections run deeper than I had expected. As I was about to leave for solo lunch, I was intercepted by none other than our female boss. That's right, the boss of the place was in collusion with this female assassin. And to top it all off, the rest of our web development team had entrapped me. Saying something about 'let's all go for lunch. I'm treating', I was herded into our boss's roomy SUV. 

Now, fortunately, three of our male co-workers - OR SHOULD I SAY VILE MINIONS - took the rear seats, which did not have passenger doors, I was somewhat relieved...until I realized that I was forbidden from taking the outermost seat in the middle row. As illustrated in this hastily-scrawled diagram:

I am trapped between an assassin and two accomplices, unable to escape as they have blocked all doors. I kept my defenses up for whatever secluded location they chose to launch their concerted assault on me. 

It was frighteningly disconcerting, I tell you. Enough foliage to conceal assassins and corpses:

A body of water where captured aquatic creatures spend their remaining years being ogled by humans:

Spoils of conquest taken from various residential dwellings decades ago:

Poor bottles, forced to abandon their role as liquid receptacles and act like trees:

Shells, kidnapped from their seaside homes and strung up like heretics on the strappado:

And Orwellian reminders that smoking is an evil that will be punished with extreme prejudice:

I was fortunate that I got off with only a frankfurter and a soda for my troubles, but then my nemesis forced me to take a photograph of her prey:

And coerced me to take a slice, as though she were demonstrating that she'll cut me up and make me eat parts of myself. Even now, the memory haunts me.

Still, the taste of garlic, mushrooms, bread and 'something-tangy-but-I-can't-quite-place-it' was a unique experience. 

Chryenth

Those bottle trees look cool.

Kyrra

1am and I finished the monthly ads entirely from scratch! Did a bunch of other stuffs!

Hopefully the hard drive can get repaired over the weekend and -everything- gets recovered. Flirty over the phone IT boss came out to the office at 8pm to pick it up personally.

I finally get to go hooooome. Massive thank you to @Trey, @Tesha, and my favourite Master person for helping to pass the time and keep me sane. I would not be here without you. Truly. Well, I actually still would be >.> for hours yet. Much love!

Wysteria

Alcinae said:

Synbios said:

Alcinae said:

@Synbios - There's such things as waffle hotdogs? That sounds amazing.

Yes.

wtf now I'm hungry, all those times my parents went back to the Phillipines without me I see them eating waffle hotdogs and now I'm sad and now I'm crying and goddamn it I just want one! (

In Australia we have this called a Dagwood Dog:



Either way it's a heart attack on a stick

Kyrra

Inappropriate.

Alcinae

Wysteria said:

Alcinae said:

Synbios said:

Alcinae said:

@Synbios - There's such things as waffle hotdogs? That sounds amazing.

Yes.

wtf now I'm hungry, all those times my parents went back to the Phillipines without me I see them eating waffle hotdogs and now I'm sad and now I'm crying and goddamn it I just want one! (

In Australia we have this called a Dagwood Dog:



Either way it's a heart attack on a stick

I don't know why but it's all burger-related food in the US, no hot dogs that give others heart attacks... though there is a place in New York that deep fries everything you order, I want to go there. Ever have deep-fried coca-cola? Apparently it's good.

Wysteria

@Alcinae — I've heard of it! I eat pretty healthily though so the concept scares me somewhat, but hey, always willing to try something once!

Echald

I would have a ball of lard deep-fried.

Chryenth

I have done nothing of use today, and it was glorious.

My computer is back, and working. *touches wood*

My favorite Englishman is streaming Starcraft again.

Woooo.

Tania

Dagwood dog looks like a corndog: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_dog

Exelethril

Derp, nevermind.

Taraus

Nectarines.

Ripe, abundantly juicy nectarines.

Also liked @Chryenth's post because he said touch and not knock.

Sybilla

Someone I love has returned to me after a long absence. I'm now better able to reassess where I f'ed up during/since, and starting to care about myself a bit more, enough to improve parts I've just left to fester. It's a nice feeling.

I've come home to my parents', my cat's recovering well though she's frail. Her eye is much better. I've this adorable photo of her, spoilered for slight ick factor (can't really tell, but just in case!:

[spoiler]

[/spoiler]

Tomorrow we're going to my childhood home in the country, the weather's going to be good apparently, and I get to relish in a bit of nostalgia and pretty surroundings.

Hopefully this continues!

Tesha

She looks like a really sweet girl. I am glad she has someone like you who cares so much about her. You are my rave.

Tvistor

I imagine Sybilla is comprised entirely of loud techno music, flashing lights and university students now.

UHN-TISS, UHN-TISS, UHN-TISS

Jonathin

Worked my ass off. Got another raise. Making pretty good money now. Got home, cleaned up and mowed the lawn. Went to my grandpa's and fixed an electrical issue (apparently 30 years ago, he ran an extension cord with the ends cut off like a piece of residential grade wire which ended up faulting), got home and am now sitting on Achaea.

I'm exhausted but I feel accomplished. Tomorrow I get to see a friend that I haven't seen in years and then I get to be with the woman of my dreams the rest of the weekend.

Life, for me and my tastes, really couldn't get any better right now.

Synbios

Chryenth said:

Those bottle trees look cool.

Until you realize that you're looking at the bottly equivalent of PIKED HEADS ON THE ENTRANCE TO TARGOSSAS. I never realized that these humans make hardcore restaurateurs.

Chryenth

Thirty degrees. Five hours of karate training. Four and a half of those hours were instructing, and it went fantastically. I have great friends who've supported me this week, even if they haven't pulled their own weight. Normally, that'd make me angry but I'm in such a good mood that I'm just laughing. Turn up, teach one lesson than GTFO? Fine, sure - more teaching experience for me. ^^

For those of you who do martial arts - try doing it backwards. Reverse left and right. With your eyes shut. Spin around on the spot thirty times before you start, so you do it dizzy. It is so much fun. More ideas here: http://www.karatebyjesse.com/51-awesome-ways-to-practice-kata/

Everything is looking up, right now.

Daslin

Are we all just not gonna mention this?? Whether it was of his abomination of a face; SYNBIOS POSTED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF HIS EXISTANCE!!!!

Synbios

Daslin said:

Are we all just not gonna mention this?? Whether it was of his abomination of a face; SYNBIOS POSTED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF HIS EXISTANCE!!!!

My visage was not present in any of those carefully-scrubbed-and-edited photos.

EDIT: Want proof? You are all still sane.

Karai

A police officer just assisted my jaywalking. Police here are awesome though; my friends and I would tip over the dumpsters in their parking lot and play street hockey while they watched.

Mah frands.. we're hard as f***.

Chryenth

There is a slight breeze coming through the window.

This is a great relief to me.