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Descriptions Wanted 1.0

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  • PyoriPyori Member Posts: 1,396 @ - Epic Achaean
    Jiraishin said:
    Pyori said:
    Jiraishin said:
    Probably because IRL waist length hair takes a ton of effort to maintain
    That's exactly my reason for bringing it up. It's as if people don't realise it. >.>
    To be fair everyone wears the same clothes for years without washing them, getting your head chopped off doesn't get your outfit bloody or ripped (unless you want it to), everyone wears armor everywhere, and weapons go from structurally sound to crumbling into dust from one day to the next. So even if people do realize it, they might reasonably just decide to handwave it.
    Correct. Doesn't mean you can't point out something that's overdone and silly, though. Kinda like (courtesy of @Skye again)


  • TahquilTahquil Member Posts: 4,170 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    There was a theory I never fleshed out in game properly as an alchemist that we are totally malleable vessels shaped by the ingrained notions of what our unique experience should make us look like. That's why you can get nearly disembowelled 20 times a day and have a perfectly flat stomach yet that one time a bear clawed your face when you were 16 was so impactful to you it left scars. Why you can break and mend your leg 4 times in a row with mending or restoring you limbs but it will remain broken during rituals. It went a long way into explaining why our bodies can bounce back so easily for traumatic injury (even death) without marks yet trivial things can leave lasting scars that follow us through life. 

    A lot of it was based on homunculi and how they are so malformed and also touched on the empty vessels alchemists kept of themselves to cheat death. In a meta sense it would also explain how characters evolve their look over their years, maybe a change to hair colour, eye shape etc because of the whims of the player. An event that may have been important in the past could have little relevance to their character's outlook now. Tahquil did some shitty little experiments on herself and her vessel during her alchemist days in this vein of study leaning towards setting basic changes to herself, like her hair length when she reformed or reentered her vessel.

    But really to keep it with the norm of growths, Tahquil's got shitty short hair as she cuts it with a dagger if it gets long. As if she's going to go to another sentient being and be like, "yo, give me a trim."
    Ilira
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Waist length hair is not particularly ridiculous, though, was my point.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
  • PyoriPyori Member Posts: 1,396 @ - Epic Achaean
    Jiraishin said:
    Waist length hair is not particularly ridiculous, though, was my point.
    It is when every other person you see has it. Hence meme status.

  • IliraIlira Member Posts: 11
    @Pyori
    I mean, perhaps waist-length hair has just become a cultural norm. And @Jiraishin has a good point. Long hair is hardly an impracticality in the Achaean world, when compared to what an adventurer does on a monthly basis. Regardless, I don't find waist-length hair to be silly at all, overused or not. You also mentioned the excessive use of almond-shaped eyes, which might be a mere commonality as well. They're pretty normal in real life, from what I know.

  • DupreDupre M.Member Posts: 288 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    The game's official art is also dominated with waist or even ankle length hair for females
    https://www.achaea.com/banner/caiges.jpg
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Ugh, don't get me started on the depiction of women in a lot of the game art.

    @Pyori Yeah, I think we were talking past each other. I agree that waist-length hair is overused, though not nearly as much as a lot of other Achaean memes. I just don't think there should be any expectation that people think about how hard it is to maintain, which one of your replies seemed to suggest.

    Almond-shaped eyes I don't think is a problem at all. Lots and lots of people have almond-shaped eyes IRL.

    Also, for what it's worth... I used to actually have waist-length hair. Cut off 14 inches for Locks for Love at one point and still had hair well past my shoulders.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
  • PyoriPyori Member Posts: 1,396 @ - Epic Achaean
    Jiraishin said:

    though not nearly as much as a lot of other Achaean memes.
    You should visit Cyrene sometime. Lush lips, perky breasts, almond eyes and waist-length hair on every other female char there.

  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I try not to visit Cyrene.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
    IliraTorinn
  • SkyeSkye The Duchess BellatereMember, Seafaring Liason Posts: 2,816 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Closing your eyes to the fact doesn't make it disappear!
    /summoned by the tag


  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Well, it's still true that almond-shaped eyes and waist-length hair are both less overused and less objectionable --even if the latter is extremely common in one city-- than the ubiquitous lush lips, perky breasts, and stygian anything.

    And hey. If half the women in Cyrene have waist-length hair, maybe it -is- cultural. 
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
  • AmunetAmunet Spokane, Washington, USAMember Posts: 750 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I have seen so many perky breasts since coming back that I am starting to wonder if Buul now performs boob jobs.
    My avatar is an image created by this very talented gentleman, of whose work I am extremely jealous. It was not originally a picture of Amunet, but it certainly looks a great deal like how I envision her!
    JiraishinIlira
  • UrokUrok Member Posts: 11
    He stands a hulking eight feet tall, His body is toned and muscular, His skin looks thick and almost leather-like with a dark grey coloured hue covering it. He has yellow-gold coloured eyes and has a pair of medium sized tusk like teeth protruding from his mouth. His hair is shaven clean off leaving a smooth scalp showing.

    -should flesh this out a bit more at some stage.
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    "Coloured hue" is redundant. Cut to just 'hue'.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
    Urok
  • KlendathuKlendathu Eye of the StormMember Posts: 3,173 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    You might also want to consider varying your sentence structure. The current description reads almost like a check-list, every sentence starts with either "his" or "he".

    Tharos, the Announcer of Delos shouts, "It's near the end of the egghunt and I still haven't figured out how to pronounce Clean-dat-hoo."
    Urok
  • AntoniusAntonius Member Posts: 4,771 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    You're also not a God, so His and He aren't appropriate if they're not at the start of a sentence. They should be lower-case, so his and he.
    Urok
  • MinifieMinifie Member Posts: 2,196 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Urok said:
    He stands a hulking eight feet tall, His body is toned and muscular, His skin looks thick and almost leather-like with a dark grey coloured hue covering it. He has yellow-gold coloured eyes and has a pair of medium sized tusk like teeth protruding from his mouth. His hair is shaven clean off leaving a smooth scalp showing.

    -should flesh this out a bit more at some stage.
    He stands at near eight feet in height, with a toned physique to match his racial stature. Akin to that of leather, his body is covered in durable dark grey skin, (lacking in any discernable blemishes)/(roughed and worn from [living conditions if any]). Meticulous grooming leaves no hair upon his face or scalp, excepting two thick tufts of hair above amber eyes, as well as a pair of pristine tusks protruding from his mouth. 

    A lot of this can be altered to what you fancy, but (only a personal rule) always avoid any words that force how the read should feel. “Impressive” tusks wouldn’t work, because I may think they are rather mediocre, tiny or even vile. I think I have to fix a few from my own descriptions too, mostly because I am pretty mediocre designer.





    (Mhaldor's Next Top Model): Taryius says, "Oops, thats not a foray. Thats two novices going at it in the wilderness."
    Urok
  • UrokUrok Member Posts: 11
    Minifie said:
    Urok said:
    He stands a hulking eight feet tall, His body is toned and muscular, His skin looks thick and almost leather-like with a dark grey coloured hue covering it. He has yellow-gold coloured eyes and has a pair of medium sized tusk like teeth protruding from his mouth. His hair is shaven clean off leaving a smooth scalp showing.

    -should flesh this out a bit more at some stage.
    He stands at near eight feet in height, with a toned physique to match his racial stature. Akin to that of leather, his body is covered in durable dark grey skin, (lacking in any discernable blemishes)/(roughed and worn from [living conditions if any]). Meticulous grooming leaves no hair upon his face or scalp, excepting two thick tufts of hair above amber eyes, as well as a pair of pristine tusks protruding from his mouth. 

    A lot of this can be altered to what you fancy, but (only a personal rule) always avoid any words that force how the read should feel. “Impressive” tusks wouldn’t work, because I may think they are rather mediocre, tiny or even vile. I think I have to fix a few from my own descriptions too, mostly because I am pretty mediocre designer.



    Thanks for this, it helps a lot.
    MinifieAstarod
  • DupreDupre M.Member Posts: 288 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Minifie said:
    always avoid any words that force how the read should feel. “Impressive” tusks wouldn’t work, because I may think they are rather mediocre, tiny or even vile.

    This is a contradictory as any adjective can be argued down to personal opinion

    "Impressive tusks" is fine
    "You are impressed by his tusks"is not
    https://www.achaea.com/banner/caiges.jpg
    JiraishinIlira
  • MinifieMinifie Member Posts: 2,196 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Dupre said:
    Minifie said:
    always avoid any words that force how the read should feel. “Impressive” tusks wouldn’t work, because I may think they are rather mediocre, tiny or even vile.

    This is a contradictory as any adjective can be argued down to personal opinion

    "Impressive tusks" is fine
    "You are impressed by his tusks"is not
    Impressive: evoking admiration through size, quality, or skill; grand, imposing, or awesome

    To have impressive tusks means they leave an impression on you, to describe them as such means that anyone who sees them is impressed by them. Calling your own tusks “impressive” doesn’t describe them, it describes how they are seen by others. Sizeable, large, strong... Using adjectives that require the reader to act or forces emotion on them in a certain way is lazy descriptive writing IMO.


    (Mhaldor's Next Top Model): Taryius says, "Oops, thats not a foray. Thats two novices going at it in the wilderness."
    Siduri
  • DupreDupre M.Member Posts: 288 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    edited January 31
    By default any adjective in your description is forcing an opinion on others, since it's how they see you not how you see yourself. Such is unavoidable

    Whether an 'alluring' and 'seductive' siren. Or 'luscious' curls. Or 'beautiful' skin.

    Or even a 'white and gold' (or 'black and blue', even colours can be opined) dress.

    Nothing in a description is objective
    https://www.achaea.com/banner/caiges.jpg
  • KraetosKraetos Member Posts: 30
    Is it just me or is every female a siren? I'm not complaining, I love the idea of Kraetos sitting on a bench surrounded by sirens. But it's rare to see a female troll or a dwarf. I only say this cause I saw one today, and had a nice long chat with her. While surrounded by sirens, of course.
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited January 31
    Kraetos said:
    Is it just me or is every female a siren? I'm not complaining, I love the idea of Kraetos sitting on a bench surrounded by sirens. But it's rare to see a female troll or a dwarf. I only say this cause I saw one today, and had a nice long chat with her. While surrounded by sirens, of course.
    It's just you.
    Though I dunno, maybe it also varies by city. Targossas has a ton of xorans and atavians compared to what I remember elsewhere, for instance. To give you an idea, the female characters I regularly interact with are:

    Farrah - xoran
    Lii - tsol'aa (was dwarf till like... a week ago)
    Aeryea - atavian
    Alasiel - atavian
    Ygia - atavian
    Avianca - tsol'aa
    Iloisee - mhun
    Gralnys - human
    Nakhra - siren

    You get the idea.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
  • PyoriPyori Member Posts: 1,396 @ - Epic Achaean
    Pyori and Elisella are both xoran (formerly human). Amunet's a human (I think?), as is Keorin. Shirszae's an atavian. Jemisha's a troll... To be honest, lately I've seen a lot more non-sirens than sirens. Not just in Ashtan... Though it doesn't stop them having the figure of a siren >.>

    UrokSkyeVenmaraShirszae
  • AmunetAmunet Spokane, Washington, USAMember Posts: 750 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited January 31
    Pyori said:
    Pyori and Elisella are both xoran (formerly human). Amunet's a human (I think?), as is Keorin. Shirszae's an atavian. Jemisha's a troll... To be honest, lately I've seen a lot more non-sirens than sirens. Not just in Ashtan... Though it doesn't stop them having the figure of a siren >.>
    Amu is definitely a human...and a bit racist about it, especially in regard to its superiority in the study of ritual Occultism. Get her on the subject, sometime. You'll be in for a hell of a rant, haha. 

    As for Amu's figure, I have left it mostly ambiguous. She is surprisingly short - I RP her as hovering at or just above five feet, though an exact measurement is never explicitly given. It would be difficult to estimate, given her perfect posture and penchant for heeled shoes. Beyond that, I leave the interpretation of her body up to other people. One person's slim is another person's fat, after all, and I got tired of trying to figure out a way to describe a feminine figure that didn't come off like an unusually classy sexalt. Most people seem to find her attractive (though, that could be the personality, or the power, or some combination of both), but one of Ashtan's resident NPCs calls her "chunky", so it really is a matter of opinion!

    I'm currently at work, so I can't log in to copy her description, but I'll post it later.
    My avatar is an image created by this very talented gentleman, of whose work I am extremely jealous. It was not originally a picture of Amunet, but it certainly looks a great deal like how I envision her!
  • TahquilTahquil Member Posts: 4,170 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited January 31
    You know, through the interactions we had I never pictured Tahquil towering over Amunet in any scenario.

    In regards to sirens, it depends heavily on where you hang out.
    Jiraishin
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,670 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Attractiveness in Achaea seems to have little or nothing to do with physical appearance/description. Jir gets girls crushing on him and he's literally invisible.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
  • FinchyFinchy Member Posts: 142 ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    edited January 31
    My description draft said:
    He is a human. A well-weathered and exceptionally pickled example of his race, this man is crooked and bent at rough angles. With bowed legs splayed in an awkward fashion he moves like a puppet manipulated by a drunk admist a fit of catalepsy. Stooped, his neck juts forward and down to bring his body teetering forwards. Crazed ploughmen have been at work upon his countenance, producing a face not so much as mired with wrinkles, scars and a simple eye-patch as constructed, fortified and then preserved in deep furrows and cracked laughter lines. His hair, a mop of salt and-peppered brown is unkempt and slick with grease. 


    Two minute write-up of a basic concept of trying to describe someone who looks like they permanently live inside a grimy pub. If anyone can find a great and appropriate way of conveying it without breaking pretty much all of the writing guides I am your receptive vessel for critique. 

    Tahquil said:

    In regards to sirens, it depends heavily on where you hang out.
    Generally its around the chest but I'm not an expert.

    Siduri
  • AmunetAmunet Spokane, Washington, USAMember Posts: 750 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Tahquil said:
    You know, through the interactions we had I never pictured Tahquil towering over Amunet in any scenario.

    In regards to sirens, it depends heavily on where you hang out.
    Have you seen the infamous heels? They bump her up to at least average height, haha. If I remember correctly, Tahquil also has (or had) a bit of a slouch.

    The thing about Amu is, she has a grandiose, larger-than-life sort of attitude, so, unless you are particularly observant, or have seen her in certain situations (barefoot at home, trying to reach something on a shelf [this almost ruined an Occultist experiment, at one point]), you probably aren't going to notice. Given how much Amu couldn't stand Tahquil while Tahquil was engaged to Mathonwy, Amu would have hardly shown any weakness - physical, or otherwise - in her presence. If anything, she would have kept sipping levitation, out of spite. ;)
    My avatar is an image created by this very talented gentleman, of whose work I am extremely jealous. It was not originally a picture of Amunet, but it certainly looks a great deal like how I envision her!
  • PyoriPyori Member Posts: 1,396 @ - Epic Achaean
    Amunet said:
    Pyori said:
    Pyori and Elisella are both xoran (formerly human). Amunet's a human (I think?), as is Keorin. Shirszae's an atavian. Jemisha's a troll... To be honest, lately I've seen a lot more non-sirens than sirens. Not just in Ashtan... Though it doesn't stop them having the figure of a siren >.>
    Amu is definitely a human...
    Don't ask why, for some reason I couldn't remember if it was human or tsol'aa... Really don't know why I thought the latter. I generally give a rough height, never exact, because IRL you can pretty easily guess someone's height just by looking at them. Often times you end up being like 2-3 inches off.
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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