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Comments
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
And hey. If half the women in Cyrene have waist-length hair, maybe it -is- cultural.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
-should flesh this out a bit more at some stage.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Results of disembowel testing | Knight limb counter | GMCP AB files
A lot of this can be altered to what you fancy, but (only a personal rule) always avoid any words that force how the read should feel. “Impressive” tusks wouldn’t work, because I may think they are rather mediocre, tiny or even vile. I think I have to fix a few from my own descriptions too, mostly because I am pretty mediocre designer.
"Impressive tusks" is fine
"You are impressed by his tusks"is not
To have impressive tusks means they leave an impression on you, to describe them as such means that anyone who sees them is impressed by them. Calling your own tusks “impressive” doesn’t describe them, it describes how they are seen by others. Sizeable, large, strong... Using adjectives that require the reader to act or forces emotion on them in a certain way is lazy descriptive writing IMO.
Whether an 'alluring' and 'seductive' siren. Or 'luscious' curls. Or 'beautiful' skin.
Or even a 'white and gold' (or 'black and blue', even colours can be opined) dress.
Nothing in a description is objective
Though I dunno, maybe it also varies by city. Targossas has a ton of xorans and atavians compared to what I remember elsewhere, for instance. To give you an idea, the female characters I regularly interact with are:
Farrah - xoran
Lii - tsol'aa (was dwarf till like... a week ago)
Aeryea - atavian
Alasiel - atavian
Ygia - atavian
Avianca - tsol'aa
Iloisee - mhun
Gralnys - human
Nakhra - siren
You get the idea.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
As for Amu's figure, I have left it mostly ambiguous. She is surprisingly short - I RP her as hovering at or just above five feet, though an exact measurement is never explicitly given. It would be difficult to estimate, given her perfect posture and penchant for heeled shoes. Beyond that, I leave the interpretation of her body up to other people. One person's slim is another person's fat, after all, and I got tired of trying to figure out a way to describe a feminine figure that didn't come off like an unusually classy sexalt. Most people seem to find her attractive (though, that could be the personality, or the power, or some combination of both), but one of Ashtan's resident NPCs calls her "chunky", so it really is a matter of opinion!
I'm currently at work, so I can't log in to copy her description, but I'll post it later.
In regards to sirens, it depends heavily on where you hang out.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Two minute write-up of a basic concept of trying to describe someone who looks like they permanently live inside a grimy pub. If anyone can find a great and appropriate way of conveying it without breaking pretty much all of the writing guides I am your receptive vessel for critique.
Generally its around the chest but I'm not an expert.
The thing about Amu is, she has a grandiose, larger-than-life sort of attitude, so, unless you are particularly observant, or have seen her in certain situations (barefoot at home, trying to reach something on a shelf [this almost ruined an Occultist experiment, at one point]), you probably aren't going to notice. Given how much Amu couldn't stand Tahquil while Tahquil was engaged to Mathonwy, Amu would have hardly shown any weakness - physical, or otherwise - in her presence. If anything, she would have kept sipping levitation, out of spite.
What's general policy on using parenthesis in this sort of writing?
For example:
He had red hair, parted to the left, that was long and curly.
vs.
He had red hair (parted to the left) that was long and curly.
He had red hair, parted to the left, that was long and curly.
He had red hair (Sartan dyed it with the blood of His enemies) that was long and curly.
He had red hair (does it smell like blood to you?) that was long and curly.
IMO there are few instances where a description can use parentheses without sounding douchey or dumb
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
I have noticed there being not a great deal of Trolls, female or otherwise (I can name Jemisha and Morn for certain, but nobody beyond)
But I agree with the point, it's just him. Especially given the number of Rajamalan and Atavian I see in Cyrene.
EDIT: Seriously I hate walking in the wilderness now.
Jir during the masked ball:
Jir after the masked ball:
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."