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Predatory Advances

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  • AtalkezAtalkez Member, Secret Squirrel Posts: 5,217 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    If I recall, threatening to issue actually can nullify your issue. You're not supposed to mention it. I could be wrong though.


    You hug Aurora compassionately.
    AustereKadenShirszaeBluef
  • TibithaTibitha Member Posts: 742 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited January 2016
    I understand @Qwyn's problem though. It's not as black and white as some of you seem to assume.

    Often they're not obviously making an -advance- as such (it's not like they send you a tell going "ay bby u want sum fuk?"), thus it feels like an overreaction to issue or report them because technically they haven't done anything wrong. And while you're pretty sure what their intention is, they haven't actually said anything to that effect, giving you the opportunity to say no and you also don't want to be rude, being new here.

    My advise is to simply stop responding. Responding will get you nowhere, just don't. If they persist you can choose to either take the "tell them to please leave you alone" route, (they will pretend to be hurt that you would understand them so wrong) or simply IGNORE them.

    If however you've asked them to leave you alone and they don't, then feel free to issue them.

    You can also additionally ISSUE ME and alert the admins about the person as mentioned before. If you ISSUE ME it won't alert the person in question, so you avoid the "overreaction" feeling but it does alert the admin to keep an eye on them for future transgressions.
    AereidhnaSkyeQwynShimi
  • TrevizeTrevize Member Posts: 1,517 @ - Epic Achaean
    Ignoring doesn't always help. Say no. Ask them to leave you alone.

    Once you tell someone no, go away, and they keep up, there's no way they're unaware. Feel free to issue.
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  • SaevaSaeva Member Posts: 1,944 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Atalkez said:
    If I recall, threatening to issue actually can nullify your issue. You're not supposed to mention it. I could be wrong though.
    I doubt it. I have seen a few say aloud, ICly "I'm going to issue you" in the midst of an instance, and then still get their way.


  • MamiMami Member Posts: 82 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    I'd probably go issue me but when I ignore people (literally, not the command), they tend to go away. When I get approached, it's usually in an IC way so I try to get other people respond back in ICly, like getting a harasser blacklisted or hounded by my city and even other acquaintances.
  • KyrraKyrra AustraliaMember Posts: 4,924 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    When my Sylvan was a newbie, some guy actually was making new characters to stalk and harass me. The ignore command didn't do much good, so I just ended up getting an aeon hourglass at 18 and avoided the newbie areas/those with a reputation for being creepy.
    (D.M.A.): Cooper says, "Kyrra is either the most innocent person in the world, or the girl who uses the most innuendo seemingly unintentionally but really on purpose."

    Aereidhna
  • KasyaKasya TennesseeMember Posts: 657 @ - Epic Achaean
    Yeah, you shouldn't have to get an hourglass to avoid creepy newb-stalkers.

    IGNORE and ISSUE ME are your friends. What @Tibitha said, where it doesn't alert the person that you've brought them up to the admins. It can be far less confrontational for those people, who like myself, would rather avoid it in matters like that. I mean, when I started playing ten years ago I didn't know about issuing or whatnot, and so I ended up using rather drastic methods to avoid such scenarios.

    But yeah, now I would just issue myself, explain the situation, and get the hell out of there.
    Aereidhna
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    edited January 2016
    When is this bullshit going to stop. 

    Do we need to have it in the intro quest that a gnarly gnoll tries to have his/her way with you? It's ridiculous. 

    Maybe we need to break immersion before we start and say some basic stuff that needs to be said. Sometimes I feel like we're failing TNG before they've even started.



    AereidhnaBoosteya
  • JukilianJukilian Member Posts: 1,579 @ - Epic Achaean
    I know of one name that immediately comes to mind.

    But this person as far as I'm aware gets the hint and leaves people alone.
  • TreyTrey Member Posts: 4,819 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Saeva said:
    Atalkez said:
    If I recall, threatening to issue actually can nullify your issue. You're not supposed to mention it. I could be wrong though.
    I doubt it. I have seen a few say aloud, ICly "I'm going to issue you" in the midst of an instance, and then still get their way.
    If threatening to issue meant that you automatically lost said issue, Mephaos would never win.

    Saeva
  • CynlaelCynlael Member Posts: 3,257 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited January 2016
    Mephaos has won an issue? I thought that was about as true as Ernam winning issues. Dude just retracts them whenever someone posts an even semi-coherent reply to his idiotic 'issues'

  • CooperCooper Member Posts: 5,529 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Very entertaining that Mephaos issues pop up in this particular thread.

    CynlaelSkye
  • TexelTexel Member Posts: 159 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    IC shame them. Pile it on and be a hero. We don't need predator players. I realize this can backfire but nothing more fun then a 'burn the witch moment.'
    Okk tells you, "You 'woof'ed on a house channel in a conversation with the Lord Bard."

    MamiIsis
  • QwynQwyn Member Posts: 247 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Tibitha said:
    I understand @Qwyn's problem though. It's not as black and white as some of you seem to assume.

    Often they're not obviously making an -advance- as such (it's not like they send you a tell going "ay bby u want sum fuk?"), thus it feels like an overreaction to issue or report them because technically they haven't done anything wrong. And while you're pretty sure what their intention is, they haven't actually said anything to that effect, giving you the opportunity to say no and you also don't want to be rude, being new here.

    My advise is to simply stop responding. Responding will get you nowhere, just don't. If they persist you can choose to either take the "tell them to please leave you alone" route, (they will pretend to be hurt that you would understand them so wrong) or simply IGNORE them.

    If however you've asked them to leave you alone and they don't, then feel free to issue them.

    You can also additionally ISSUE ME and alert the admins about the person as mentioned before. If you ISSUE ME it won't alert the person in question, so you avoid the "overreaction" feeling but it does alert the admin to keep an eye on them for future transgressions.
    This is definitely where I'm coming from - thankfully nothing has been SUPER explicit (aside from the naked character following me around with "swaying tits"...not even joking), and I was just uncomfortable how to draw a line before things got weird. I didn't want to be rude and ignore interaction.

    Thank you all for the advice! It's really awesome to see how supportive the game is.
    TibithaBoosteyaShimi
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    Nakari said:
    I really wonder if there doesn't need to be harsher enforcement of something to stop this sort of shit. I hate to sound like someone railing against erotic rp or the people who do it, because I think those people often seem rather silly and I've nothing against that sort of thing in theory, but this seems like a problem that just isn't going away.

    This experience just seems ridiculously prevalent, and it obviously shouldn't be. I obviously can't say what happens behind the scenes, but the current system seems to be that if they don't stop when you say you aren't interested, then that's what gets them shrubbed. This would make a lot of sense if this were a rare and isolated problem, but it seems like there are people who might well take no for an answer, but are still propositioning a ridiculous number of newbies, and it doesn't seem as if there are repercussions for them. There was a time a few months ago when I was messing around in Cyrene some that over a period of a few days, three different newbies were propositioned by the same guy, and I only know about those because they asked the city about what they should do. That people can get away with doing this sort of thing is a problem.

    I wonder if being more strict about approaching new players in that way might help. The current system puts the onus on brand new players, some of whom may well be fourteen or fifteen (regardless of what the TOS actually "requires") to be the ones who have to navigate both the mechanical and personal ways of handling these sorts of situations. Putting those sorts of burdens on the harasee has some problems itself, I think, but in a game where new players, particularly those who might be inexperienced with muds, are already confronted with a whole lot of brand new stuff they need to work out, having to work this out too seems like it could only scare people off. Even when they navigate city chat and stuff well enough to ask for help, which is itself hardly a guarantee, this is hardly the introduction to the game that people should be receiving.

    People who are repeatedly hitting on people just out of the trial should be warned then banned, IMO, even if they're leaving people alone after being asked to. This sort of shit is way too prevalent, and plenty of people seem to be getting away with it under the current system.
    i agree with this post.



    TrillianaSkyeShirszaeBoosteya
  • AktillumAktillum PhilippinesMember Posts: 1,368 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I thought this thread was going to be about money lending schemes and loan sharks. Imagine my non-surprise to discover that its about mudsex addicts perving on newbies.

    AradorSiduri
  • TessaTessa Member Posts: 66 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Jemaine said:
    I'm so glad I'm a guy, who also plays a guy character in-game I guess. My only experience with this stuff was back in the days I made a character using a name generator. The name I picked looked fine at first glance so I rolled onwards, but It was actually pretty feminine in hindsight.

    So Im going around doing my thing and noticing guys are trying to be unusually conversational and helpful. Popping up while Im hunting, trying to sound friendly and using corny emotes like winking, romping and pouncing. So Im like, first of all guys don't talk to each other this way so why is this character so popular all of a sudden. Then when one of them made a casual reference about his genitals I was overcome by a moment of crystal clarity. He thinks I'm a she. The only thing I could think to do was instantly try to sound as manly as I could. I said Bro, Im a dude. It felt super ackward, then he said you need to change your name. I said Bro did you even look at me, I have a beard man.

    So yeah, I can't remember that characters name anymore but it did make me glad I don't have to regularly deal with all that drama.
    Just to say, there are people that do that IRL too. One of my coworkers has long hair. Gets called 'miss' off and on when he has a mustache and beard. Dem hormones.

    As for predators, IRL and IRP, I feel they very much need something significant removed from their body at the very least. Definitely do ask them to leave you alone and /ignore promptly, and if they keep trying from there, ISSUE them. Not even a question. Wishing it was easier than that to catch them since it gives them plenty of chances to stay under the radar. All the same I'm glad someone spoke up. Wish more would. Because these people need lives that they won't find here.
    ElowinBoosteya
  • AodfionnAodfionn Seattle, WAMember Posts: 1,222 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Name and shame. Also, straight to issue if they say anything explicit. We dont need this crap in the community.  
    Aurora says, "Are you drunk, Aodfionn?" 

    (The Targossian Academy): Halos says, "Go on! I need to feel the wind in my hair!"


    SzanthaxElowinValyshaBoosteya
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    Lucianus said:
    I thought... being a male character would make me immune. A troll even! But I was solicited. :| Sooo awkward. My character would like to say, 'RRROAAGH!!! I'm going to impale you into the ground and twist until you bleed to death!' But that wouldn't sound right... so I just ignored him and ran back to Targossas.
    surprisingly enough when i ran in and was like hey... wussup... omg help me. nothing happened. like he knew just what to do..



  • ValyshaValysha Member Posts: 27 ✭✭ - Stalwart
    edited January 2016
    Lucianus said:
    I thought... being a male character would make me immune. A troll even! But I was solicited. :| Sooo awkward. My character would like to say, 'RRROAAGH!!! I'm going to impale you into the ground and twist until you bleed to death!' But that wouldn't sound right... so I just ignored him and ran back to Targossas.
    I remember you mentioning such the other night ic. I was like WTF? 
    Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
  • ValyshaValysha Member Posts: 27 ✭✭ - Stalwart
    Qwyn said:
    So, as a new player, I am frankly astounded at the amount of predatory behavior I've seen - at least five people have tried to proposition my character. One person has followed my character around, giving her unwanted gifts over and over. One has repeatedly invited my character to an Inn. One has just sent repeated tells about how my character looks (I do not have a slutty desc). 

    This is absolutely uncool. 

    New players should not be subject to this sort of treatment. It's really unappealing and disgusting. Is there anything I can do to stifle this sort of behavior? 
    I've heard a few people mentioning things like this, but I have not had anything like this happen. ((Thank goodness. I would probably curse them good and have Valy be all sweet, then set up piety and judge their asses.)) But yeah...Hopefully, that does not have to occur.
    Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
  • VansittartVansittart Member Posts: 232 ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent

    I completely agree with @Nakari.  I don't think a hard enough line is being taken, or at least, I don't think the playerbase can see a hard enough line being taken which, from a community betterment perspective, is equally important.  Also "name and shame" (although I think we should) probably doesn't get you most of the way there, because the most egregious examples are probably done on alts.

    Personally, I'd like to see an upheld issue of sexual harassment leading to publication, by the admin, of not just the character name that harassed but all names tied to the same account.  I'd also like to know the following:

    • what is the punishment for an upheld issue of sexual harassment?
    • is the punishment cross-account?

    I think that there shouldn't be an escalating scale for these issues.  First offence should be a non-discretionary shrubbing of all characters, not just the offending one, for a period (maybe 30 days), then any repeat offence leads to permashrubbing across all characters.

    I think it's easy to jump in and say "this isn't tolerated" because of course it isn't, but I do think a bit more information from the admin on the approach would really help us see follow-through on that. 


    SkyeShirszaeMelodie
  • AntoniusAntonius Member Posts: 4,991 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I wouldn't mind an administrative statement outlining the punishments for this behaviour in general terms, but the administration should never be discussing actual punishments with the players.
  • VansittartVansittart Member Posts: 232 ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    @Antonius - genuine question, but why not?  I completely agree that you should never discuss a pending case, or a dismissed case but anonymity for the convicted isn't a principle of the rule of law.  The opposite is true, in fact.  (I know this isn't "the law" but looking at it as a background for what is procedurally fair is helpful, I think).
  • MatiasMatias Member Posts: 73 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    It is no one else's business how someone gets punished. 
    SobriquetHuraiNataliiaValysha
This discussion has been closed.