Achaean Regrets

Kuy

Every time I've given up on a class because it wasn't exactly everything I wanted it to be 

Jinsun

Sybilla said:

I have played with and against despicable characters, and those who play problem children, or are just contrarian for the sake of it. There have been periods when I myself have played Syb like that during stretches of time, it's perfectly valid and realistic roleplay.

It is when it stops being a role played in a game and starts getting ugly and personal that problems arise. I'm pretty sure that a large majority of the playerbase has problems of some sort, insecurity, anxiety, maybe even mental illness. We play this game for escapism, for creativity, to feel like there's one corner of the world where we're accepted and wanted. The portion of the community I've met/interacted with OOCly has been loving and supportive and generous. 

A year (maybe longer) of pent up frustration made me resent the fact that I've been having more fun and feeling happier playing with outsiders, than my own community. Instead of working (and playing) together to carve our own corner of the world and create the most kickass fort, I've enjoyed visiting the neighbour's kids' treehouse despite the "no grilz allowed" sign and having back-and-forth with them rather than endure the bile at home. (To those thinking to throw the "why don't you just convert" card, it's because the way I've established my character doesn't fit (aside from a very hamfisted change of personality) anywhere else).

It is a game, it's supposed to be fun, but it can't be when all that's fostered is an environment of criticism and condescension. There is so soooo much potential in the Occultists when there is the community to support it, and I find it an awful shame when all that energy is turned to creating drama rather than creating an engaging environment. I've never been a GM and I had to learn quickly that you sacrifice yourself for the fun and enjoyment of all the other players, but goddamn from time to time even GM's need to have their own fun before they burn out.

Moral of the story: don't be dicks to your leaders, and they won't be dicks to you.

To be short and brief. I don't know if we've just never meshed or what because I've tried extensively just to keep whatever tension that exists between us as only characters because I know being Demiurge sucks, I know that you and everyone else has a hard life, and I know that I can be an overbearing twat. However, if you think you're above being a pill ICly and OOCly, too, you're dead wrong. When I sign in, ask you a simple, administrative question and get my head ripped off, getting OOC messages about how you're acting that way ICly is because you're having lady issues OOC, I tend to just not really enjoy interacting with you. Will I ever know what it's like for a woman to have to endure that hell once a month? No, but I do try and let whatever I do and say ICly have some break between my OOC life. If I did, Jinsun would have literally 0 friends (admittedly, he's not the most popular guy). Working full time as a lawyer running my own business and having to work nights at a restaurant while I learn the ropes and struggling to pay the bills, I'm generally exhausted when I get to Achaea. When I do I get messages like, Sybilla hasn't done this, why don't I have perms to do this, when are we going to take care of this, Yes it makes it very hard for me to want to be super active in the Occultists. I toot my own horn far too often, but I am there, and I do work insanely hard. I'm glad that there is more activity and unity now, maybe we needed a small infight for people to get passionate again. We've all had some great fun over the past two days since the election. Just remember as much as you hate that my character uses the sparkle emote and the smirk emote, you're not the only one who signs in only to not have a blast some days. It can be really draining on all of us. I do try, I really do. I even sent you tells telling you thank you for doing things despite how horrible the election was going and draining on myself and others. You took something that was meant to push us forward and get people's attention and made it about your personal life in order to make someone else look shitty. It was below baseline decency. No matter my gripes with you as a leader, I never did that to you. 

Moral of the story: Be a dick back to me ICly all you want, but leave it there, where it belongs.
Sorry, wasn't really short and brief, I was pretty hurt to see you push so far.

Shirszae

Maybe if you stopped being a dick on forums, people would stop being a dick back to you as well. Just a wild guess, though.

Jinsun

Shirszae said:

Maybe if you stopped being a dick on forums, people would stop being a dick back to you as well. Just a wild guess, though.

*Sigh* you're right, I'm the one who came on forums and attacked Sybilla and I'm such a shitty person who should feel bad about himself.

And, I'm sorry, but are you really so piss poor at RP that reading something someone says to someone else on forums causes your character to hate that person? 

Shirszae

Jinsun said:

Shirszae said:

Maybe if you stopped being a dick on forums, people would stop being a dick back to you as well. Just a wild guess, though.

*Sigh* you're right, I'm the one who came on forums and attacked Sybilla and I'm such a shitty person who should feel bad about himself.

And, I'm sorry, but are you really so piss poor at RP that reading something someone says to someone else on forums causes your character to hate that person? 

I don't need to read what anyone else says. I just have to read 96% of your replies in this forum to know the kind of person you are. And I am fairly sure I am not the only one. 

Change or not, thats up to you. Just don't complain for having to pay for what you bought.

Addama

Wait, why is Cynder flagging your post now?

Jinsun

Addama said:

Wait, why is Cynder flagging your post now?

No clue, probably because I talked mean to her Achaean gf, who cares.

Cynder

Addama said:

Wait, why is Cynder flagging your post now?

Wait what, why is Jinsun flagging Shirszae's post when the exact same thing was said to Ernam?
Omg. We need a Jinsun on Ernam shipping right now.

Jinsun said:

Addama said:

Wait, why is Cynder flagging your post now?

No clue, probably because I talked mean to her Achaean gf, who cares.

S And from what I recall, she talked right back and true locked you with me.

Jinsun

Besides, guys I apologized then got a lecture about how much of a turd I am. How are you even starting a flame war when I respond to that? Are you really that hateful and begrudging?

"When you walk by a group of quote-unqoute 'normal people' you chuckle to yourself, patting yourself on the back as you scoff. It's the same superiority complex shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell and it makes you a slave to the competitive, capitalist dogma you spend every moment of your waking life bitching about."

Always thought that song lyric applied to so many of us that had been wronged in the past, but yet thought we were still so much better than everyone else. I find that attitude a lot in Achaea. We're all a bunch of nerds playing a game on a grandiose telnet. Are we really winning any awards by telling ourselves we're that much better of a person than anyone else?

Xenomorph

For some of us, the shame and regret we carry would be marginalized, misrepresented, and somehow imply it's simple banter worthy regret.

For some of us, we were fools stuck in the retardation vibes of a ten plus year punchline that passers by could always look upon when they need reminded their own situations are, thank God, not that bad.

Those dollars were real. Those credits did indeed cost that much. and we bought them and bought them and didn't realize what was done until years later.

Sybilla

It is done, it's just clutching at straws now.

The way I play my character, and the way I OOCly interpret what goes on are different things. As I said, there's characters that are contemptible and gain the appropriate reactions, but they don't make me/the community feel like the old "don't wrestle with pigs, because you both get dirty and the pig enjoys it" adage.

Just like I don't give biscuits to a dog for not shitting on the carpet, I don't need to list a load of inanity about what does and doesn't fly.

Shit, or get off the pot, we have business to get to.

---

Back to OP's thread relevance, I regret not making a character in the golden days of Imyrr, Amunet, Flair and the other big hats, from the looks of things it was a time when fools weren't suffered. 

Saeva

Oh God...he likes Say Anything... do not ruin that band by quoting them on this cesspool forum....

Jinsun

Sybilla said:

It is done, it's just clutching at straws now.

The way I play my character, and the way I OOCly interpret what goes on are different things. As I said, there's characters that are contemptible and gain the appropriate reactions, but they don't make me/the community feel like the old "don't wrestle with pigs, because you both get dirty and the pig enjoys it" adage.

Just like I don't give biscuits to a dog for not shitting on the carpet, I don't need to list a load of inanity about what does and doesn't fly.

Shit, or get off the pot, we have business to get to.

---

Back to OP's thread relevance, I regret not making a character in the golden days of Imyrr, Amunet, Flair and the other big hats, from the looks of things it was a time when fools weren't suffered. 

I apologized, and you gave a lecture. You get catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. Have a little grace about your victory and move on. I'm choking in the stench of your high horse's shit over here.

Taraus

You know what I always hated about that statement? You can catch the -most- flies with rotting meat, or shit. WHY IS THAT ALWAYS OVERLOOKED WITH THAT SENTIMENT!?

Mathonwy

Look, the nature of the forums game specifically and the metagame generally is that it's winner-take-all. If you sway people's opinions about you through various shifty and sundry means and win, hey, you get the position, advance your e-political career, and everything's hunky dory. But when you lose, you have to take all the digs you get, fair or unfair, AND you have to do it as gracefully as you can (dat damage control) or else that hole just gets deeper.

As I feel deeply uncomfortable making a strictly serious post like this, I would like to end this by saying Jell-o pudding pops be dop bop

Valkyre

Mathonwy said:
Look, the nature of the forums game specifically and the metagame generally is that it's winner-take-all. If you sway people's opinions about you through various shifty and sundry means and win, hey, you get the position, advance your e-political career, and everything's hunky dory. But when you lose, you have to take all the digs you get, fair or unfair, AND you have to do it as gracefully as you can (dat damage control) or else that hole just gets deeper.

I think what you are going for is "When you write on the Achaean Forums, you either win or you die. There is no middle ground."

On topic, I'd like to follow up my brief foray into Meme-making by saying that I regret not keeping up with my friends (or at least making new ones to replace the folks who stopped playing) outside of The Serpentlords/Hashan. Now that I've left both those communities, it's been a lot of tea drinking and sitting on benches for Valk. 

But here's to new opportunities to rectify that, eh?

Jinsun

Valkyre said:

Mathonwy said:
Look, the nature of the forums game specifically and the metagame generally is that it's winner-take-all. If you sway people's opinions about you through various shifty and sundry means and win, hey, you get the position, advance your e-political career, and everything's hunky dory. But when you lose, you have to take all the digs you get, fair or unfair, AND you have to do it as gracefully as you can (dat damage control) or else that hole just gets deeper.

I think what you are going for is "When you write on the Achaean Forums, you either win or you die. There is no middle ground."

On topic, I'd like to follow up my brief foray into Meme-making by saying that I regret not keeping up with my friends (or at least making new ones to replace the folks who stopped playing) outside of The Serpentlords/Hashan. Now that I've left both those communities, it's been a lot of tea drinking and sitting on benches for Valk. 

But here's to new opportunities to rectify that, eh?

Always welcome to swap the tea for rum and come do gleam with me. You can talk, and I'll babble incoherently in the corner about Chaos and how much I hate @Aodfionn‌  (<3)

Erhon

Sybilla said:

Back to OP's thread relevance, I regret not making a character in the golden days of Imyrr, Amunet, Flair and the other big hats, from the looks of things it was a time when fools weren't suffered. 

They were, they always have been, different names and faces but the SSDD scenarios. Like with everything it's a juggling act. 

@Jinsun I hope things can work out for you so you can enjoy your time playing. I also hope that there's an opening for you to have Jinsun get a second chance with the people he's managed to piss off. I like how passionate the character is, and when he's not being a dick he's admirable, just really hard to see it sometimes.

Tvistor

Mathonwy said:

Look, the nature of the forums game specifically and the metagame generally is that it's winner-take-all. If you sway people's opinions about you through various shifty and sundry means and win, hey, you get the position, advance your e-political career, and everything's hunky dory. But when you lose, you have to take all the digs you get, fair or unfair, AND you have to do it as gracefully as you can (dat damage control) or else that hole just gets deeper.

I'd like you all to know that if I was Tecton, I'd be abusing my power to run horrific social experiments upon all of you, starting with how Achaea reflects aspects of actual political positions, and probably ending with reinstituting old theft.

Mathonwy

Tvistor said:

Mathonwy said:

Look, the nature of the forums game specifically and the metagame generally is that it's winner-take-all. If you sway people's opinions about you through various shifty and sundry means and win, hey, you get the position, advance your e-political career, and everything's hunky dory. But when you lose, you have to take all the digs you get, fair or unfair, AND you have to do it as gracefully as you can (dat damage control) or else that hole just gets deeper.

I'd like you all to know that if I was Tecton, I'd be abusing my power to run horrific social experiments upon all of you, starting with how Achaea reflects aspects of actual political positions, and probably ending with reinstituting old theft.

Stanley "Tecton" Milgram

"The experiment requires that you purchase more credits."

Mishgul

I regret putting the laundry on and then going in the shower, and also forgetting I was logged in at the time.

Jovolo

I regret just about everything I did on Garao. Too many things to mention. I don't regret much with Jovolo, other than leaving the Maldaathi way back when. It was disappointing when Xenomorph left after the enthusiasm he injected into it on his return, and a week after that we were left with about 3 house members that were above level 21. Was just too boring for my hyperactivity.

I'm working full time now and have been for a few months, so I haven't had time to play. Would like to return one day and invest something other than impatience and immaturity. Seventeenth time lucky or something.

Bluef

Anything and everything to do with Hashan. I could have remained Ashtani and joined the Spirit Walkers, and I should have because 6 RL years later people in Hashan, many who were not even Hashani who were not even born yet IC, like to sing a litany of horrible things she supposedly did. 

Half the time I can't tell whether they're just trolling or they honestly believe the bullshit that comes out of their mouths because they've been sharing it that way for so long that it's become truth to them. 

The thing that really kills me is that Hashani by in large don't seem to grasp that they live in the Matrix. Darkwalkers hand down disinformation and they eat it up like it's nourishment in the amniotic fluid that surrounds their little pod lives. They never even question the myriad of umbilicals branching out from their tiny, withered bodies like the tentacles on a qlippah because someone told them it was okay and this person was bad and thus they must hate them.

6 RL years is something like 216 years IC. That's two centuries of this crap and it doesn't matter whether Bluef is apologetic, kind towards them, or if she sits around in a cavern for decades ignoring them, they will find a way to initiate the conflict again just to get the chance to hear themselves run back down their list of reasons why they don't want to interact with her. 

I never should have joined a city that has to roll 8 deep just to kill one woman. That's my biggest Achaean regret. 

Tvistor

Bluef, I'd just like to point out that I think regrets on a thread like this are probably meant to be somewhat mournful and all that stuff. That seems almost perfectly designed to get someone to say:

"ACTUALLY YOU TOTALLY DID X."

And then you'll have to say something like "WELL, I DID, BUT ONLY AFTER YOU DID Y."

And then they'll say "WELL, YEAH, BUT TIMEZONES OR SOMETHING[?]"

And then you'll have to say something like "WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T ALL COMMUNISTS--"

And then everything will be derailed and the first moderator to read this will have their Christmas ruined. Ruined.

Signing off a regret like that is akin to me saying "Well yeah, my biggest regret was losing that fencing competition to that guy that totally bought off the referee, because he had to, because he was a little badly-fencing jerk". Even if I perceive him as a little badly-fencing jerk, I know that most people are going to disagree, and maybe there are more viewpoints, and maybe I shouldn't be super passive-aggressive.

Also, more to the point, any statement on these forums that goes "<Number> of people attacked me" opens the thread to Achaea math, wherein each combatant is counted based on numerous factors, such as the length of their participation, the phase of the moon and the windspeed in Sydney. It never goes well.

tl;dr I sincerely feel like you're trying to start a big argument, and yes I could be misinterpreting you and yes I'm probably about to help, but I just realized this and already have all these words down soooooooo POST COMMENT.

PS: I like the part about amniotic fluid and tentacles and stuff.

Klendathu

I have two main regrets.

1. Arte'ing up before learning the basics
2. Not switching to Sentinel class before you couldn't be in a city except Loosis as a forestal

So many positives to outweigh the negatives though, including how fantastic bard is as a class

Bluef

I'm not intending to start an argument. I'm saying how I truly feel. I'm sick to death of Hashan's bullshit and wish I'd never had Bluef step foot in the place. If people need to get on their high horse and defend the place instead of viewing it as a legitimate regret and simply disagree with its basis internally, that's their problem - not mine.

Siduri

@Bluef : Shallam.

Tvistor

Jacen

If you wanted to be rid of Hashan, it might make sense to, you know, not do things that might provoke a reaction from it. Like not implanting totems adjacent to the Lotus Icon and right outside the city. 

I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you.... OMG THEY'RE REACTING TO ME THEY CAN'T LET ANYTHING GO WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME I'M SO INNOCENT!!!

Jinsun

 @Bluef‌  if you're going to totem outside of cities can I hire you to prop every now and then or totem some defendables for me?