I regret not leaving the Templars when I thought I should have and forever tying Kakotas to an RP based on Honor which will never logically be able to be broken short of some kind of massive ethos change somewhere down the line. I regret not tossing out two Acolytes I should have which caused major rifts in shallam. I regret not just simply qqing in Elysia that last time. I regret the fight with Pentharian that will never be resolved now. I regret being stuck as a Paladin when I should have switched to forestal when I had the chance. Most recently I regret missing the second great dream.
(Blades of Valour): He just has that Synbios Swagger enough said. (Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?" (Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar." (Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
I regret being stuck as a Paladin when I should have switched to forestal when I had the chance.
Its never too late for a paradigm shift! In real life, people have crises of faith all the time; in fact, I'd say it's more unrealistic when a fictional character has belief in a precept that's utterly unshakable, because even most of the figures in the real world who have been recognized as champions of causes have admitted to periods of serious doubt in their life. The fallen/redeemed narrative is so compelling that it's even a trope all its own, and a valid path for character development at practically any point in a story arc.
More importantly, roleplay always takes a backseat to fun. If you're not happy in Paladin/feel like your options are exhausted, a change is always justifiable, even if its not where you originally plotted out the character going.
Kakotas would have to somehow wake up with complete amnesia in order for that to happen. It's really hard to RP something like that when your kind of the rock on which many things are built.
(Blades of Valour): He just has that Synbios Swagger enough said. (Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?" (Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar." (Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
Pressure got to you and you run from your duty. You've been strong for so long and you just cannot take it anymore. In a moment of weakness you flee to the forests where you find a new sense of duty, love, and yes, even life. Watch out world, Kakotas 2.0 is here!
Kakotas would have to somehow wake up with complete amnesia in order for that to happen. It's really hard to RP something like that when your kind of the rock on which many things are built.
What if, rather than amnesia, it was dysphoria? There must be *some* decision he made at some point in his life that could be viewed as unsavory in another perspective -- ousting a potential heretic, executing someone who may have been innocent... If not, roleplay him making one: deliver an over the top sermon and have him go burn down some denizen village.
It's quite plausible for someone with such an event in their past wake up one morning, even years later, and say "You know... maybe that wasn't the best choice." Over the next week, the thought turns in his head, a seed of doubt that starts causing him to question other things he's done in the name of "honor". It's very easy for such questions to spiral into a near obsession; it's something a lot of people who have experienced trauma go through, and can end up completely changing their personality.
In my mind, at least, that's pretty strong writing. I'm not going to try to prescribe actions for your character, though. Just know that you should never feel trapped; there are many things you could do that won't leave an aftertaste of retconning in the rest of our mouths.
Kakotas would have to somehow wake up with complete amnesia in order for that to happen. It's really hard to RP something like that when your kind of the rock on which many things are built.
That's not really how Achaea works.
First and foremost it is a game, and is meant to be enjoyed by the player. If you aren't having fun and want a change, do it. There is absolutely nothing in the game that sets your RP for life. Take it from the guy who has been a Minister in 3 cities, ~5 orders, Vizier/Viceroy, and a large number of classes. Nothing should stop you from enjoying yourself oocly.
Look, we can arrange to have @Kakotas get some amnesia okay. Axe kick might have gotten nerfed or something but I'm still pretty sure it causes head damage, and if not we could get a sylvan involved, or someone with a thorough "break all of the limbs!" strategy. A kind jester might also be willing to help you, and frankly if you say you've fallen down some stairs, no one's going to question it too much.
In fact, since you'll have amnesia, you don't even have to say what happened! You won't be able to! Mwahahaha!
I volunteer to break your head and damn you! (Please dont fight back though)
So we're Damning church elders now are we? @Aodfionn What are you teaching them now?.... Lol
(Blades of Valour): He just has that Synbios Swagger enough said. (Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?" (Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar." (Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
I think this would be easier for things I didn't regret, but let's give this a try.
I regret firstly, Starting off in Hashan. it wasn't so bad back in the day when the Lotus was actually a decent powerhouse. and I did meet quite a few people I still talk to such as Karai ,Draqoom , Payne, Aaritrea, Talysin. After leaving hashan and joining Shallam, I actually felt like someone in the game and not just another random npc.
I regret raging and telling everyone fuck it im going to mhaldor so much.. so much so that it's basically become an inside joke whenever I get mad OH SHIT WATCH OUT CALADBOLGS GOING TO MHALDORK
I regret never trying out any other cities besides Hashan and Shallam/targ. While I do enjoy being a targossian like I said earlier I felt so much better about the game as a whole after joining Shallam I keep wondering what the other cities are like. Specially when I see Xinna over here in Mhaldor when she has that nice Terra lady she could be playin.
I regret loaning @Dalran 400 credits, IT'S BEEN A YEAR NOW
Um.. Alot of the stuff that happens when im drunk except when im fighting actual fights, since for some reason im so much better at fighting while drunk it doesn't make sense.
And.. that time that I smoked some illegal stuffs didn't remember a thing but woke up the next morning with 50 more kills than I had the night before 2-3 more levels and a new nickname of yolocleavemaster420
Also I still regret not charging @Daeir with assault for patting Halos on the back a little to hard.
Oh, and my name is to damn close to Saladbowl, should have thought that one better and named my self after Sir Auroran's legendary weapon instead of Tidus'
Oh, and my name is to damn close to Saladbowl, should have thought that one better and named my self after Sir Auroran's legendary weapon instead of Tidus'
why not Lulu's? then Dragonknight would have a brother!
Aurora says, "Tharvis, why are you always breaking things?!" Artemis says, "You are so high maintenance, Tharvis, gosh." Tecton says, "It's still your fault, Tharvis."
Regret going occultist and wasting all those lessons. I sucked at occultist combat. Spent all those credits on traits reset and reincarnation because I was set up as a bladie. Then changed to monk and had to it all over again. Then bought another reincarnation later because I didnt like how I specialized. Soooo much money wasted.
I am Silvarien. I had to leave Achaea for a lot of solid reasons, and I cannot come back, also for a lot of solid reasons. I miss both most of Cyrene and all of Targossas. Towards the end, I tried to be a Cyrenian ally to Targ, which was at least at the time difficult. They allowed me to be ally, in the end, which I really appreciated. Both cities had a lot of very nice players, and it was nice to see a positive combat impact on Targ while being the hapless non-com I had always been.
The other great regret I have is that I only fully understood that most of Ashtan and Mhaldor are actually really nice people. I always had a lot of trouble separating IC from OOC, because I am so inept at combat and kept being totally annihilated.
tl;dr : I miss you guys, esp Cyrene and Targ. I hope you're all having a good time on and off Achaea.
I am Silvarien. I had to leave Achaea for a lot of solid reasons, and I cannot come back, also for a lot of solid reasons. I miss both most of Cyrene and all of Targossas. Towards the end, I tried to be a Cyrenian ally to Targ, which was at least at the time difficult. They allowed me to be ally, in the end, which I really appreciated. Both cities had a lot of very nice players, and it was nice to see a positive combat impact on Targ while being the hapless non-com I had always been.
The other great regret I have is that I only fully understood that most of Ashtan and Mhaldor are actually really nice people. I always had a lot of trouble separating IC from OOC, because I am so inept at combat and kept being totally annihilated.
tl;dr : I miss you guys, esp Cyrene and Targ. I hope you're all having a good time on and off Achaea.
Aww, I'm sad to hear that. You were always one of the nicest Cyrenians, and always up for a hug! I hope you're doing well!
Regret: Buying a Talisman of Runic Affinity in auctions instead of an out of subs plot. I ended up trading in the talisman because my class is losing runelore, and it's so hard to find a plot to buy now.
@Halios just a side note, I was in the same position you were in with regards to old player habits being held against me. Anyone who remembers my first character would be the first to say that I rarely gave a rats ass about roleplaying, and was just another Hashani lolsnuggler for most of the time I spent playing him. Eventually I did something stupid and got him temporarily shrubbed, at which point I made Antidas. I'll be the first to admit that I still have some issues to work out, but I think its safe to say that most people take Antidas far more seriously and have at least a bit more respect for him than my previous main ever did.
I know it shouldn't be necessary to start over entirely to get people to stop holding old habits against you, but unfortunately, thats what the vast majority (myself included, on occasion) of the player base will do. If its a serious issue for you, you might consider doing the same, and earning a new reputation for yourself before anyone knows its you.
As for the pastebin, I remember when that went up a couple weeks before Tvistor and I left, but I unfortunately cannot remember who it was that wrote it. Either way, sorry that you saw it and that it was written at all.
There's a strong difference between people having an OOC chat in skype or whatever as friends, as Carmain suggested, and people blurring those lines OOC/IC.
I'm not complaining about people recounting the days events ingame in a skype chat. I do that myself, everyone does.
But to personally evaluate, judge, and comment on other people in a blurred OOC/IC fashion in such a medium is incredibly damaging and out of order.
It's really kind of ironic that the entire direction of that pastebin was the feeling of such dismay with the state of an IC organization that people felt the need to threaten to leave en-masse to the admin in order to evoke the kind of change they felt was needed.
I understand that Aepas, You, and Carmain are reflecting on an overall result, which a lot of people think is positive, but honestly, I don't understand how some people can be so hypocritical as to complain so much about leadership and cliques, and then in the same breath develop one of their own in turn and perpetrate the same things they perceived others as doing to them.
I've literally never talked to Xeno in an extended OOC fashion. We've sent some tells back and forth about life and stuff, but nothing like a group skype chat that we converse on regularly. Then when I came back to activity the first time, I was told by Tvistor and others that the reason I was being treated so harshly in Mhaldor was because "they think you're just like Cain," to whit he sent me logs of 4-5 people in an ooc skype chat discussing -my- character. This is wholly inappropriate and ridiculous.
This was 2013. Not 2006. This was also not purely in an IC sense. It was mostly OOC. Tvistor was level-headed and reasonable enough to admit he didn't like that I was being perceived so negatively without a solid justification, but he was really powerless to do anything about it.
This has been a recurring theme for a long time now, and why I've floated between inactivity and activity. One can only take so much bullshit before they just get sick of playing and log out. Everyone keeps suggesting I go to Ashtan, or Eleusis, or Targ, but honestly, the whole point of me changing was to start RPing -more-, not less.
Halios has only ever been a Sartan loyalist. He decried Keresis, and even had a distaste for Apollyon/Shaitan due to the seeming upheaval of structure in Mhaldor and the sycophantic power-grabs that occurred.
Switching cities now that Sartan is back would be like deciding he was suddenly a Jester who liked pretty flowers and cupcakes baked in Cyrene.
I'll leave you with this as a strong reminder of why judging things off the words of others is damaging:
I hope that my late response on this precise subject won't be considered thread necro. If the admins permit, I'm going to give you the only forum comment that is of a serious note, and not to humor anyone. From the time this started, to the time I chose to leave Achaea for reasons irrelevant. I just wish to give you my sincere and honest assessment on the opportunity that was posed to me, and being more humble and selfless than anyone who said otherwise would ever dare to admit they were wrong to an astonishing degree.
But it don't for a moment think this is about me, nobody would even entertain gods truth that I have no ego, and that putting others first was a vision I so passionately wanted to protect others, and forever sacrificed everything and will never return again to any serious commitment ever again. I'll gather my thoughts now, and I want you to know the truth about everything. The toptic is serious because it involves players being mistreated.
I regret only my dormancies. Though they couldn't be helped at the time (and in the future), there was always something that I had to leave that was going well.
Friends, Offices, Organisations.
But in the end, we all come back at some point, pick ourselves up and start again.
I guess this is as good a place to do it as any. I really feel as though I've become a favorite hated person in Achaea, a lot of my own causing, and i'm trying hard to fix that, but I'm failing miserably. So I wanted to apologize for a few things:
@Hirst, I'm sorry that I got into so many fights with you during our working in the Primanus. Some days I loved working with you and some days I hated you, but I always miss you being in our House.
@Juniko, I'm sorry you see so many shitty versions of me and have to put up with my moodiness and despair over Achaea.
@Sybilla I am sorry that things have gotten to such an extent with us that your contempt with me is so very real. I know that you think I'm a cruel, mean imbecile, and I've been one at times. I really wish there was some world where we could get along and have fun. I'm sorry that things got as ugly as they did.
@Verily I'm sorry that you've witnessed so many of my growing pains. You've seen so many of my mistakes and outright disasters. I know that it's probably not easy to watch your protege explode so often.
@Jhui I'm sorry that the competition got so tense. I don't know where everyone got so jaded, but I do think you're the best combatant in achaea. That's probably small potatoes though, you're probably the nicest dude in Achaea, and I miss you in our house and wish I was one of the cool kids some days.
@Dunn I dunno, to some extent I feel like the tournament fueled Andraste's political suicide and I know that was a mess that was a pain in the ass for you to clean up. I eventually gave in just out of exhaustion from the whole affair. I am sorry that it caused you such a headache. I do really want to work well with you, though at times I don't understand you or know how to interact well with you.
@Arditi I'm sorry for being mean to you the other day.
@Carmell I'm sorry that we've become such mortal enemies. I don't know that we'll ever get along, but I do wish that I could get along with anyone here.
@Aelios I'm sorry for my duel blow ups. I miss being friends
@Mariya I'm sorry that the election caused so much stress for you. It was really comforting to have you to talk to.
@Jozlyn I'm sorry that every time that we talk I bring up Achaea. It's not fair to you and I know that. I'll try not to.
@Sarapis I'm sorry for being so rude to you in the past.
To everyone, I know that a lot of you don't care for me, and that's ok. I just feel really beaten over the head lately. I hear a lot that I need introspection. I know that, daily. I think about what's wrong and what I've done wrong, daily, please don't think that I don't. I do think I've learned not to be a total jerk on forums (or at least have tried to) and I don't feel like some of you would even let me be nice if I tried. In some ways, I regret ever giving you someone to view that way.
To everyone else, I'm really thankful for how nice you've been to me.
@Jinsun It's our common connection! I get it. Take care of yourself. We could always talk music or even sports or I dunno animals? I still like you, Jinnie.
Basically the last two 'months'. I was having fun and I thought others were to but apparently I've managed to upset people OOCly and now I don't know what to do. So that right now is my big regret. I don't want to be that person.
If there's something I've learned from playing this game is that being upset and having fun are not strictly opposite. Things simply bleed over even at the best of times. To me, its not too different from being depressed when your favourite character in the books die. You might have been having the best time in the world reading until the last scene, and then it hits you. Chances are you don't just continue reading like nothing happened.
Also, people say a lot of stupid stuff when they are upset. If you really want to know what they think, ask them when they are calmer.
And you won't understand the cause of your grief...
I have played with and against despicable characters, and those who play problem children, or are just contrarian for the sake of it. There have been periods when I myself have played Syb like that during stretches of time, it's perfectly valid and realistic roleplay.
It is when it stops being a role played in a game and starts getting ugly and personal that problems arise. I'm pretty sure that a large majority of the playerbase has problems of some sort, insecurity, anxiety, maybe even mental illness. We play this game for escapism, for creativity, to feel like there's one corner of the world where we're accepted and wanted. The portion of the community I've met/interacted with OOCly has been loving and supportive and generous.
A year (maybe longer) of pent up frustration made me resent the fact that I've been having more fun and feeling happier playing with outsiders, than my own community. Instead of working (and playing) together to carve our own corner of the world and create the most kickass fort, I've enjoyed visiting the neighbour's kids' treehouse despite the "no grilz allowed" sign and having back-and-forth with them rather than endure the bile at home. (To those thinking to throw the "why don't you just convert" card, it's because the way I've established my character doesn't fit (aside from a very hamfisted change of personality) anywhere else).
It is a game, it's supposed to be fun, but it can't be when all that's fostered is an environment of criticism and condescension. There is so soooo much potential in the Occultists when there is the community to support it, and I find it an awful shame when all that energy is turned to creating drama rather than creating an engaging environment. I've never been a GM and I had to learn quickly that you sacrifice yourself for the fun and enjoyment of all the other players, but goddamn from time to time even GM's need to have their own fun before they burn out.
Moral of the story: don't be dicks to your leaders, and they won't be dicks to you.
I spent the last month saying "don't cut and run, you'll get into it eventually" and this morning I realized I didn't want to blow 50k in comms on another run of rapiers to get nothing better than a 215, and I didn't want to blow five hours of my day off staring at a screen of sweat flying off my brow.
09:51:58.627 You may trade in a Hammer of Forging and receive 266 Bound Credits for the trade.
09:51:58.627 To complete this trade in, enter: ARTEFACT HAMMER TRADEIN CONFIRM
09:51:58.627 4220h 2810m exdb-
09:52:04.575 You take and tradein a Hammer of Forging, receiving 266 Bound Credits in preparation for a later purchase.
Finals being sick, moving into a new apartment, and extra hours at work over the past week have been killing my Achaea time (/all free time whatsoever). So very, very excited for Tuesday.
Comments
(Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?"
(Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar."
(Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
More importantly, roleplay always takes a backseat to fun. If you're not happy in Paladin/feel like your options are exhausted, a change is always justifiable, even if its not where you originally plotted out the character going.
(Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?"
(Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar."
(Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
It's quite plausible for someone with such an event in their past wake up one morning, even years later, and say "You know... maybe that wasn't the best choice." Over the next week, the thought turns in his head, a seed of doubt that starts causing him to question other things he's done in the name of "honor". It's very easy for such questions to spiral into a near obsession; it's something a lot of people who have experienced trauma go through, and can end up completely changing their personality.
In my mind, at least, that's pretty strong writing. I'm not going to try to prescribe actions for your character, though. Just know that you should never feel trapped; there are many things you could do that won't leave an aftertaste of retconning in the rest of our mouths.
First and foremost it is a game, and is meant to be enjoyed by the player. If you aren't having fun and want a change, do it. There is absolutely nothing in the game that sets your RP for life. Take it from the guy who has been a Minister in 3 cities, ~5 orders, Vizier/Viceroy, and a large number of classes. Nothing should stop you from enjoying yourself oocly.
In fact, since you'll have amnesia, you don't even have to say what happened! You won't be able to! Mwahahaha!
Er, I mean... we can help!
(Blades of Valour): Draekar says: "Synbios if sunbeams sparkle off that I'll kill you where you stand."
(Party) Halos says, "Disbar?"
(Party) Draekar says, "You know here we have disbar."
(Party) Draekar says, "And over there we have datbar."
I regret firstly, Starting off in Hashan. it wasn't so bad back in the day when the Lotus was actually a decent powerhouse. and I did meet quite a few people I still talk to such as Karai ,Draqoom , Payne, Aaritrea, Talysin. After leaving hashan and joining Shallam, I actually felt like someone in the game and not just another random npc.
I regret raging and telling everyone fuck it im going to mhaldor so much.. so much so that it's basically become an inside joke whenever I get mad OH SHIT WATCH OUT CALADBOLGS GOING TO MHALDORK
I regret never trying out any other cities besides Hashan and Shallam/targ. While I do enjoy being a targossian like I said earlier I felt so much better about the game as a whole after joining Shallam I keep wondering what the other cities are like. Specially when I see Xinna over here in Mhaldor when she has that nice Terra lady she could be playin.
I regret loaning @Dalran 400 credits, IT'S BEEN A YEAR NOW
Um.. Alot of the stuff that happens when im drunk except when im fighting actual fights, since for some reason im so much better at fighting while drunk it doesn't make sense.
And.. that time that I smoked some illegal stuffs didn't remember a thing but woke up the next morning with 50 more kills than I had the night before 2-3 more levels and a new nickname of yolocleavemaster420
Also I still regret not charging @Daeir with assault for patting Halos on the back a little to hard.
Oh, and my name is to damn close to Saladbowl, should have thought that one better and named my self after Sir Auroran's legendary weapon instead of Tidus'
Artemis says, "You are so high maintenance, Tharvis, gosh."
Tecton says, "It's still your fault, Tharvis."
A male voice is heard through the membrane, "Hey, girl."
A male voice is heard through the membrane, "Are you an Apostate? ..because you just tore my heart out."
The other great regret I have is that I only fully understood that most of Ashtan and Mhaldor are actually really nice people. I always had a lot of trouble separating IC from OOC, because I am so inept at combat and kept being totally annihilated.
tl;dr : I miss you guys, esp Cyrene and Targ. I hope you're all having a good time on and off Achaea.
I regret all of the artie trade-ins that I've done, only to re-buy the same damn arties.
I was a lvl 60 newb with a lvl 2 band, and now several arties and class changes later I'm a lvl 78 newb with a lvl 3 band. Dat foresight
Penwize has cowardly forfeited the challenge to mortal combat issued by Atalkez.
But it don't for a moment think this is about me, nobody would even entertain gods truth that I have no ego, and that putting others first was a vision I so passionately wanted to protect others, and forever sacrificed everything and will never return again to any serious commitment ever again. I'll gather my thoughts now, and I want you to know the truth about everything. The toptic is serious because it involves players being mistreated.
Friends, Offices, Organisations.
But in the end, we all come back at some point, pick ourselves up and start again.
@Hirst, I'm sorry that I got into so many fights with you during our working in the Primanus. Some days I loved working with you and some days I hated you, but I always miss you being in our House.
@Juniko, I'm sorry you see so many shitty versions of me and have to put up with my moodiness and despair over Achaea.
@Sybilla I am sorry that things have gotten to such an extent with us that your contempt with me is so very real. I know that you think I'm a cruel, mean imbecile, and I've been one at times. I really wish there was some world where we could get along and have fun. I'm sorry that things got as ugly as they did.
@Verily I'm sorry that you've witnessed so many of my growing pains. You've seen so many of my mistakes and outright disasters. I know that it's probably not easy to watch your protege explode so often.
@Jhui I'm sorry that the competition got so tense. I don't know where everyone got so jaded, but I do think you're the best combatant in achaea. That's probably small potatoes though, you're probably the nicest dude in Achaea, and I miss you in our house and wish I was one of the cool kids some days.
@Dunn I dunno, to some extent I feel like the tournament fueled Andraste's political suicide and I know that was a mess that was a pain in the ass for you to clean up. I eventually gave in just out of exhaustion from the whole affair. I am sorry that it caused you such a headache. I do really want to work well with you, though at times I don't understand you or know how to interact well with you.
@Arditi I'm sorry for being mean to you the other day.
@Carmell I'm sorry that we've become such mortal enemies. I don't know that we'll ever get along, but I do wish that I could get along with anyone here.
@Aelios I'm sorry for my duel blow ups. I miss being friends
@Mariya I'm sorry that the election caused so much stress for you. It was really comforting to have you to talk to.
@Jozlyn I'm sorry that every time that we talk I bring up Achaea. It's not fair to you and I know that. I'll try not to.
@Sarapis I'm sorry for being so rude to you in the past.
To everyone, I know that a lot of you don't care for me, and that's ok. I just feel really beaten over the head lately. I hear a lot that I need introspection. I know that, daily. I think about what's wrong and what I've done wrong, daily, please don't think that I don't. I do think I've learned not to be a total jerk on forums (or at least have tried to) and I don't feel like some of you would even let me be nice if I tried. In some ways, I regret ever giving you someone to view that way.
To everyone else, I'm really thankful for how nice you've been to me.
Also, people say a lot of stupid stuff when they are upset. If you really want to know what they think, ask them when they are calmer.
And you won't understand the cause of your grief...
...But you'll always follow the voices beneath.
It is when it stops being a role played in a game and starts getting ugly and personal that problems arise. I'm pretty sure that a large majority of the playerbase has problems of some sort, insecurity, anxiety, maybe even mental illness. We play this game for escapism, for creativity, to feel like there's one corner of the world where we're accepted and wanted. The portion of the community I've met/interacted with OOCly has been loving and supportive and generous.
A year (maybe longer) of pent up frustration made me resent the fact that I've been having more fun and feeling happier playing with outsiders, than my own community. Instead of working (and playing) together to carve our own corner of the world and create the most kickass fort, I've enjoyed visiting the neighbour's kids' treehouse despite the "no grilz allowed" sign and having back-and-forth with them rather than endure the bile at home. (To those thinking to throw the "why don't you just convert" card, it's because the way I've established my character doesn't fit (aside from a very hamfisted change of personality) anywhere else).
It is a game, it's supposed to be fun, but it can't be when all that's fostered is an environment of criticism and condescension. There is so soooo much potential in the Occultists when there is the community to support it, and I find it an awful shame when all that energy is turned to creating drama rather than creating an engaging environment. I've never been a GM and I had to learn quickly that you sacrifice yourself for the fun and enjoyment of all the other players, but goddamn from time to time even GM's need to have their own fun before they burn out.
Moral of the story: don't be dicks to your leaders, and they won't be dicks to you.
I spent the last month saying "don't cut and run, you'll get into it eventually" and this morning I realized I didn't want to blow 50k in comms on another run of rapiers to get nothing better than a 215, and I didn't want to blow five hours of my day off staring at a screen of sweat flying off my brow.