Custom crafts: design descriptions!

Tharvis

a crystal staff

A crystal staff hovers a few inches off the ground here, maintaining a vertical position while 

illuminating the area with a subtle silver light.

Approximately three feet in length, this staff seems to have been smoothly carved out of a darker 

crystal, resemblant of onyx. Curious runes are carved up and down its length, but are impossible to 

decipher as they phase in and out of existence. The staff is topped with a ball of gold and engraved 

with a sapphire falcon on one side and a silver falcon on the opposite. Between the two is a subtle 

carving of a lightning bolt, barely discernible on the gold.

with the reaction if somebody else tries to wield it : 

The staff's silver glow intensifies until it is no longer visible, before violently racing out of 

@Caoimhaen's hands to hover tauntingly in the centre of the room.

Coeur

@Tharvis I like the extra description for if someone else wields it! Almost like it has a personality.

More descriptions please (I know they are out there)! Mounts, weapons, whatever you got, show them off! 

Bluef

So a couple of weeks ago I posed a question here about my preference for precision and conciseness (aka brevity) in design descriptions. Today Danny Heitman of the New York Times said it all way better than I ever could. Check out his page on the Opinion Pages if you're interested in continuing the discussion:

Keep It Short

Jules

@Bluef, you want clothing items from @Liliana.  One of the few designers in the game who makes simple, elegant designs.

Jules

(@Lisbethae is another as I recall, although I can't remember where stores that sell her clothing items are right now)

Jiraishin

(There's also me)

Jules

Probably, but if your gear is sold mostly in Mhaldor, I'd never see it.

Jiraishin

I'm not Mhaldorian anymore.

At this point, I basically take commissions and would craft most things off my NDS list if asked, probably even mail the descrips (as 'item sketches'), but I don't have a shop.

Jules

Ooo, nice.  I'll have to NDS you and see what's eye catching.  And yes, it's too bad you can't view descriptions of owned items on there, although I suppose it's to make it less easy to plagiarize, or something.

Jules

(After all, I always need fabulous clothes to decay while I'm semi-dormant)

Agrias

Bluef said:

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:

I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.

I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."

To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.

Thoughts?

 

 

A bit late to this thread, but yes, @Bluef, MY GOD, YES.  Simplicity is always the most beautiful.  Nobody ever stops to think that if you throw out a description that is going to sound like you had drunken sex with a thesaurus, they will get bored and not read it.  I have -always- favored the 'less is more' mentality in designing anything.

Agrias

Also, I absolutely -hate- when crafters monogram clothing or jewellery.  I lose all respect for a designer IC if they add in initials to their extendeds, or engraving, or whatever.  That's the whole -point- of being able to embroider and engrave, is to prevent that.  Ugh.

Xli

Customised buckawn's amulet

an ice-spider amulet

An amulet with a pendant of ice carved into the shape of a small spider glistens here in a pool of crystal-clear water.

Dangling from a supremely fine chain of mithril, a small chunk of dark blue ice has been carved into the likeness of a nahar spider, the detail almost impossibly intricate. Small droplets of water periodically coalesce on the pendent before refreezing, giving the impression that the spider is alive and moving. Light refracts off the multifaceted surfaces of the eight minute sapphires of purest blue, set into the ice as if the eyes of the spider.

Agrias

(customised stygian pendant)

a pendant of stormy seas

Hand-blown glass has been shaped into a tear drop, with a loop at the top through which hangs a leather cord that rests comfortably around the neck when worn. Small runes are etched into the surface of the glass that shimmer faintly in the light. Within, a turbulent sea squall rages and blusters. The winds and skies visible are a deep, dark grey in colour. The sea is wine-dark and churns violently upon itself as it roils and whips around in a frenzy. A small ship, set to scale, sits on the crest of a wave, defiant of the storm that rages around it. The vessel shakes and trembles at the waves and the wind, yet still manages to stay afloat.

Bluef

Xli said:

Customised buckawn's amulet

an ice-spider amulet

An amulet with a pendant of ice carved into the shape of a small spider glistens here in a pool of crystal-clear water.

Dangling from a supremely fine chain of mithril, a small chunk of dark blue ice has been carved into the likeness of a nahar spider, the detail almost impossibly intricate. Small droplets of water periodically coalesce on the pendent before refreezing, giving the impression that the spider is alive and moving. Light refracts off the multifaceted surfaces of the eight minute sapphires of purest blue, set into the ice as if the eyes of the spider.

Love it. I was just trying to make a "strange, spiderweb pendant" in-game and this game me some interesting new ideas to work with!

Bluef

Agrias said:

(customised stygian pendant)

a pendant of stormy seas

Hand-blown glass has been shaped into a tear drop, with a loop at the top through which hangs a leather cord that rests comfortably around the neck when worn. Small runes are etched into the surface of the glass that shimmer faintly in the light. Within, a turbulent sea squall rages and blusters. The winds and skies visible are a deep, dark grey in colour. The sea is wine-dark and churns violently upon itself as it roils and whips around in a frenzy. A small ship, set to scale, sits on the crest of a wave, defiant of the storm that rages around it. The vessel shakes and trembles at the waves and the wind, yet still manages to stay afloat.

Love, love, love it. So much awesome here, @Agrias. Here is my stygian feather pendant (blood pendant):

Suspended from a slender cord of greying leather encircling the neck, a delicate feather pendant hangs from its quill by an intricate, gordian knot. Amidst the long, languid black barbs of the swan's plume, each curling outward from the silvery vane at its centre, flecks of ash are visible, testifying to its frequent use in smudging ceremonies.

Agrias

Bluef said:

Agrias said:

(customised stygian pendant)

a pendant of stormy seas

Hand-blown glass has been shaped into a tear drop, with a loop at the top through which hangs a leather cord that rests comfortably around the neck when worn. Small runes are etched into the surface of the glass that shimmer faintly in the light. Within, a turbulent sea squall rages and blusters. The winds and skies visible are a deep, dark grey in colour. The sea is wine-dark and churns violently upon itself as it roils and whips around in a frenzy. A small ship, set to scale, sits on the crest of a wave, defiant of the storm that rages around it. The vessel shakes and trembles at the waves and the wind, yet still manages to stay afloat.

Love, love, love it. So much awesome here, @Agrias. Here is my stygian feather pendant (blood pendant):

Suspended from a slender cord of greying leather encircling the neck, a delicate feather pendant hangs from its quill by an intricate, gordian knot. Amidst the long, languid black barbs of the swan's plume, each curling outward from the silvery vane at its centre, flecks of ash are visible, testifying to its frequent use in smudging ceremonies.

Perfectly described. Concise is always the prettiest. You should see the fish scale tunic I did for Malaphus.

'a duskfin tunic'

I don't have the extended handy, but it was the short that made the item.

Kyrra

@Agrias did a lovely job with my falcon.

Melodie

The following, while my original concept, is not my work. It is of someone extremely talented and who occasionally helps me make things that make me squee. I was very very sad to have to let go of Melodie's mace (which was helped paid for by another friend ), and so I decided I wanted to have a revision of it to become Melodie's quarterstaff. I haven't yet bought the splinter, but likely will in a few days - however, the first someone was kind enough to oblidge in doing the revision, and is likely one of my favourite things now!

Short: a thalassic quarterstaff
Dropped: Left neglected and forlorn, a thalassic quarterstaff glints in the light.
Examined: Hewn of aged bronze and watered steel, gleaming ribbons coil into the smooth shaft of a thalassic quarterstaff. A hardy grip of bull leather wraps about the centre, held fast by bands of vivid cerise coral that taper toward the wickedly sharp tip. The polished metal winds toward four poised figures: cast in bronze and dappled by sea-green patina, Sefyr, Guardian of the Western Seas and Eusia, Guardian of the Eastern Seas stand alongside two resplendent angels, their golden-tipped wings arching to support a globe of translucent sea glass. Wreathing the aquamarine sphere in ghostly vapour, veins of halite undulate into an ethereal will-o-wisp, the veiled orb brimming with water laden by plump leaves of kelp and rich, stringy clumps of red algae.

Mithridates

Lifevision mask, with a bit of Mithridates' theme

an unadorned silver mask

A plain, silver masks is discarded here, eerily 

emotionless.

Starkly emotionless, this silver mask gives off a dull shine. Set in the form of a strong-jawed human face, it possesses two holes for eyes and two for the nostrils. The lips curve into a very slight frown, and it's cheekbones are gaunt and hollow. In general, the mask gives off a haunting, apathetic appearance.   

Daslin

Something, something fire.

Something, something heat.

Something, something, my knuckles.

Do I have to post the whole thing?

Nocroth

I got a bow for, I don't know, fun. I got a little, hmm, enthusiastic with the description.

a reflexed longbow of corrupted heartwood

Cast upon the ground, a sinister longbow rests here.

Teterrimous materials of diverse origins have been brought together in this bow's construction, harvested from sacrifices infernal and mundane. At the weapon's core is wood drawn from the heart of a ruined birch, irrevocably tainted by powers malign; the glistening, blackened surface is covered over with symbols profane, a hellish inscription writ in boustrophedon. Over its elegant back run strips of foul sinew, and a layer of vile horn reinforces its belly. String bridges of treated ivory adorn either knee near sharply recurved ears stiffened by laths of milky bone. Pale dryadic leather wraps the ear bases and riser, inlaid above and below the grip with pentagrams sanguineously inscribed. The product of fastidious fabrefaction, this fell weapon represents the pinnacle of the bowyer's craft.

Exelethril

@Nocroth : First problem spotted. I don't think it's necessary to overuse adjectives either, gets tiring after a certain degree.

Jurixe

If anyone wants some design work done, I'm dying of boredom at work. PM me, no charge or anything.

Nocroth

@Exelethril Hah! Yeah, I usually opt for simpler descriptors, but damn if I didn't want an excuse to use that word (and a couple of other rarities).

Agrias

Jurixe said:

If anyone wants some design work done, I'm dying of boredom at work. PM me, no charge or anything.

You're almost as cheap as I am!

Jurixe

On that note, if anyone happens to read this in the next...two hours or so and wants something designed, I might be available again.

No, I don't really know what I do at work - nothing, apparently, except refresh forums a lot.

Agrias

I've actually yet to see anything you've made. Send me an example so I may judge you. I shall send you some of my work, and you may judge me as well, @Jurixe‌.

Jurixe

Well, the people I've done stuff for recently can paste the descriptions if they want to! Not really going to judge, though, everyone has different styles and there's no real 'good' or 'bad' way to do things beyond the standards.

Kyrra

@Jurixe is excellent with designing, better than @Agrias.