@Coeur Thanks! I design clothing much more frequently than jewellery, since it is both cheaper to make and much easier to sell. I don't do much design work anymore since I don't have a shop. I think this thread might be the only place I can show off old designs now, so I apologise for sharing so many.
This was one of the first things I ever designed, well before I actually got a jeweller's license. Still one of my favourites.
A silver bow-and-arrow brooch This brooch is shaped into a miniature darkbow, its distinctively twisted form expertly rendered in silver. Strung with fine silver chain, the bow is tightly drawn, bent back to its limits. A silver arrow fletched with dark steel is nocked at the string, its shaft concealing the slender pin mechanism beneath.
Here's another old jewellery design, one much more typical of my design style when I started out:
A glimmering opal bracelet Meant to be worn carelessly loose around the wrist, this pure and polished, silver bracelet carries a light grace. The delicate, metal links that comprise it are bent and flattened into fragile S-shapes, forming a twisting, intricate chain of almost helical sections that are forever shifting and throwing light off their surfaces. A small, round clasp of the same bright silver closes the circle in a natural manner, as if the chain flowed together into a flat, silver bead. The other end of the bracelet holds a small stone of mesmerising beauty; a silver-set opal, its subtle greys and blues catching fire in the light. A minuscule bow-and-arrow has been etched on the back of the silver clasp.
Everything used to be elaborate and shiny. And elegant. I overused the word elegant, and to a lesser extent subtle, to the point where I try to avoid using either word in my designs whenever possible. To give you an idea of the kind of clothing I make for Jiraishin:
Comfortable black trousers Meant to be worn with a belt and tucked into boots, these simple cotton trousers are a neutral, slightly dusty black in colour. Plain in appearance, the trousers are nevertheless very well-made and comfortable. They are also extremely tough, durable enough to withstand the rigors of combat, exploration, or simple labour while retaining the flexibility necessary for any of those activities. A tiny black bow-and-arrow has been embroidered on the inside of the left trouser leg.
I wish I could redo his jacket's examined descrip. I don't want to completely redo it, just tighten up the writing now that I have a few years more experience designing things. Finally, this is one of my most recent tailoring designs: it was for a semi-formal kind of party that Jiraishin was invited to. It was one of those rare designs that turned out exactly the way I intended.
An understated grey dress shirt Formal in cut and simple in execution, this collared shirt is made of fine, summer-weight cotton dyed the palest shade of smoke. The sleeves are cuffed above the elbow, secured by buttons of pale grey glass; a row of similar buttons runs down the shirt's front. Silver thread glints at the seams, and a tiny silver bow-and-arrow has been embroidered at the base of the collar.
I needed half-sleeves partly to show the Mark of the Twin on his arm, partly because then I could reveal the arms and show off a bracelet.
________________________ The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
I stumbled into Maefeng's shop while she happened to be there. I was specifically looking for water walking boots and after 190 years of wearing probably every single public boot ever designed, that wasn't ridiculous, I ended up finding these.
Combat boots of titanium and black leather
Superiorly shined leather from a black hydra comprises these naturally waterproof combat boots,
which remain so due to their flawless design. Even the bonds between their gleaming titanium and
leather are impermeable. Highly resistant to corrosion, rust, and heat, the titanium utilised in
these boots could easily outlast their wearer. Emblazoned across each vamp is the body of a silver
falcon, its outstretched wings embracing the shaft as its crimson ruby eyes glint with indignation
in the afforded light. Designed for a fashionably active lifestyle, leather straps and laces are
used in addition to titanium-rimmed eyelets to fasten these boots for a truly custom and ergonomic
fit. Beneath where the laces tie, against the shin, a thin shield of titanium provides both support
and style. Titanium encases the heel and toe of each boot to afford the feet incredible shielding,
while the titanium tread has been strategically scored to ensure optimal traction in even the most
abominable environments. A thin layer of titanium is situated between each vamp's outer and inner
layer, providing the feet with extra protection while turning these boots into nocuous weapons if
necessary. Stygian chenille silk lines the interior of each boot, offering luxurious softness and
cushioning to the wearer. The tongue of each boot bears an embroidered hallmark of the designer: a
silver rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut crimson gemstone in its centre. Empowered with their
highly weaponised yet stylish design, these combat boots are both street and battlefield ready.
I was super impressed with these boots. Her selection was amazing and it was nice to see a shop fully stocked with new things!
I stumbled into Maefeng's shop while she happened to be there. I was specifically looking for water walking boots and after 190 years of wearing probably every single public boot ever designed, that wasn't ridiculous, I ended up finding these.
Combat boots of titanium and black leather
Superiorly shined leather from a black hydra comprises these naturally waterproof combat boots,
which remain so due to their flawless design. Even the bonds between their gleaming titanium and
leather are impermeable. Highly resistant to corrosion, rust, and heat, the titanium utilised in
these boots could easily outlast their wearer. Emblazoned across each vamp is the body of a silver
falcon, its outstretched wings embracing the shaft as its crimson ruby eyes glint with indignation
in the afforded light. Designed for a fashionably active lifestyle, leather straps and laces are
used in addition to titanium-rimmed eyelets to fasten these boots for a truly custom and ergonomic
fit. Beneath where the laces tie, against the shin, a thin shield of titanium provides both support
and style. Titanium encases the heel and toe of each boot to afford the feet incredible shielding,
while the titanium tread has been strategically scored to ensure optimal traction in even the most
abominable environments. A thin layer of titanium is situated between each vamp's outer and inner
layer, providing the feet with extra protection while turning these boots into nocuous weapons if
necessary. Stygian chenille silk lines the interior of each boot, offering luxurious softness and
cushioning to the wearer. The tongue of each boot bears an embroidered hallmark of the designer: a
silver rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut crimson gemstone in its centre. Empowered with their
highly weaponised yet stylish design, these combat boots are both street and battlefield ready.
I was super impressed with these boots. Her selection was amazing and it was nice to see a shop fully stocked with new things!
@Indaba > Thank you so much! Please visit again soon!
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
Thoughts?
I couldn't agree more. I know, because I tried, and it only let me click agree once.
On the other hand, I also understand the urge to describe every detail. When I have something visualized, I want other people to see it exactly the way I do. I've also seen some really beautiful longer descriptions. I don't have the gift for that, so I try to keep mine short and to the point.
If that's the kind of writing you like, I take commissions. /shamelessplug
________________________ The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
@Jiraishin Should sell those designs in a shop somewhere! (Might buy one or three) Have a brand, merchant the designs!
I think it's a fine line between describing too much and too little. Say with the things you might buy in a general store, those are mostly brief; but sometimes I'd like to know a little more about what I'm buying. Not everything needs to have two lines describing colour or whatever, but it's nice to highlight an important feature, say a jewel, a particular engraving pattern, a button design.. and so on.
I also enjoy looking at everyone's crafting marks - a butterfly, a bow and arrow, a rose, a serpent, a monogram. Does add a nice touch.
I used to have a shop where I sold my designs. Wish I still did. Glad to know there's interest!
Crafting marks are nice because even if a design lapses out of your possession and someone else buys it and sells it in their shop, it's still possible to see the original designer.
________________________ The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
@Jiraishin Should sell those designs in a shop somewhere! (Might buy one or three) Have a brand, merchant the designs!
I think it's a fine line between describing too much and too little. Say with the things you might buy in a general store, those are mostly brief; but sometimes I'd like to know a little more about what I'm buying. Not everything needs to have two lines describing colour or whatever, but it's nice to highlight an important feature, say a jewel, a particular engraving pattern, a button design.. and so on.
I also enjoy looking at everyone's crafting marks - a butterfly, a bow and arrow, a rose, a serpent, a monogram. Does add a nice touch.
I agree @Coeur and @Jiraishin. I suggested in the Gold Sinks thread that we be given the opportunity to really add those marks somehow (maybe by licensing a mark and then paying a cost to add it to each design?). I love their use but it I would love it a hell of a lot more if it appeared elsewhere in the item description and/or in colour!
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
I've actually lost count of the compliments (well over 30) I've gotten about my "attention to detail" and how people can fluidly envision my designs with crisp details within their minds thanks to how I write my designs. Some of my designs are actually quite brief (three mid-length sentences). I also have a few sentence structure techniques that I juggle to keep my writing interesting and relatively easy to read. As I mentioned in an earlier comment, just because you don't like an adjective or have to look up a few words, it doesn't make the writing "haughty." It just means that you stand the chance to learn a or a few new words. I have my style, and you have yours. Furthermore, I use a combination of "nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars." I even employ some "silver dollars" on occasion.
I'm not meaning to sound arrogant. I'm just being truthful here...
Plus, single pairs of shoes (while not even waterwalked) of my design have sold for 16k, 17k, 19k, and even 22k gold. That's without transferring the designs or promising exclusivity, too. My gowns and some other designs (even my ribbons) have sold for 15k and up, too. The only reason I have my wares at such low prices now (example: the same gowns for 4k gold per and less) are because demand is increasing and people with smaller budgets had given up hope of affording my designs. Furthermore, I know that my customers and clients will not stop buying my wares simply because they are more "in" and available. In fact, quite a few of my established clients/customers are elated that they can get replacement items for far less now. Am I still raking in the gold? Yes. The point is that, even though my designs are not your cup of tea, they are amazing in the eyes of many others.
I'll do my thing, and you'll do yours. Perhaps I got "overly defensive," but (again) I'm not just addressing you, Bluef.
If you'd like, I can start messaging direct quotes in private from people who've enjoyed and/or my designs.
I actually like the long flowery descriptions. I recently got a pair of leggings that just begged to be worn by a performer.
Shimmering silk taffeta of argent hue comprises the foundation of these elegant music note leggings. Originating from the hips and spiralling down the legs of the wearer at a shallow incline, three series of graceful harmonies, limited ostinatos, and startling syncopations blend masterfully together to form a majestic score. Uninterrupted channels of sable charmeuse silk serve as the staff, glittering black diamond cabochons comprise the note heads, and black steel filigree forms the flags and rests. Carved from thin sheets of gleaming platinum and adhered to the silk with special resin, a trio of clefs adorns each neatly hemmed cuff. Above the ankles lie the alto clefs, the trebles above the insteps, and the bass clefs above the heels. Hewn from the same platinum, a rose bloom sits above each malleolus. Refracting any light into a symphony of colour, a trillion-cut white diamond lies safe within each bloom's petaline embrace. Three inches wide and two inches deep, a notch has been cut into each hip and carefully hemmed. Atramentous drawstrings made from several sheets of tightly braided silk secure the leggings at each hip, closing the deliberate gaps in the fabric to the wearer's content.
If not for the intricate description of the melody and notes it wouldn't have made such an impression on me. As it is they were totally made for a bard.I also picked up some platinum cufflinks while I was in the store. Personally I can never seem to find things like cufflinks so finding this to go with my black jacket just made my day.
Comprised of impeccably burnished platinum and embossed with a stunningly realistic image of the great phoenix, these rounded cufflinks are designed for scrupulous tastes. Superior to most other metals in terms of both aesthetic and physical integrity, the metal of these prestigious fasteners will allow them to retain their appeal for many decades to come. Deeply engraved into the ventral side of each cufflink is a strikingly detailed rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut white diamond embedded into its center.
I actually like the long flowery descriptions. I recently got a pair of leggings that just begged to be worn by a performer.
Shimmering silk taffeta of argent hue comprises the foundation of these elegant music note leggings. Originating from the hips and spiralling down the legs of the wearer at a shallow incline, three series of graceful harmonies, limited ostinatos, and startling syncopations blend masterfully together to form a majestic score. Uninterrupted channels of sable charmeuse silk serve as the staff, glittering black diamond cabochons comprise the note heads, and black steel filigree forms the flags and rests. Carved from thin sheets of gleaming platinum and adhered to the silk with special resin, a trio of clefs adorns each neatly hemmed cuff. Above the ankles lie the alto clefs, the trebles above the insteps, and the bass clefs above the heels. Hewn from the same platinum, a rose bloom sits above each malleolus. Refracting any light into a symphony of colour, a trillion-cut white diamond lies safe within each bloom's petaline embrace. Three inches wide and two inches deep, a notch has been cut into each hip and carefully hemmed. Atramentous drawstrings made from several sheets of tightly braided silk secure the leggings at each hip, closing the deliberate gaps in the fabric to the wearer's content.
If not for the intricate description of the melody and notes it wouldn't have made such an impression on me. As it is they were totally made for a bard.I also picked up some platinum cufflinks while I was in the store. Personally I can never seem to find things like cufflinks so finding this to go with my black jacket just made my day.
Comprised of impeccably burnished platinum and embossed with a stunningly realistic image of the great phoenix, these rounded cufflinks are designed for scrupulous tastes. Superior to most other metals in terms of both aesthetic and physical integrity, the metal of these prestigious fasteners will allow them to retain their appeal for many decades to come. Deeply engraved into the ventral side of each cufflink is a strikingly detailed rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut white diamond embedded into its center.
@Koe > Thank you! I see your browser had you correct "centre." Heh. Its actually correct ("centre") in my designs, no worries.
Anyway, thanks so much for your business and review!
I actually like the long flowery descriptions. I recently got a pair of leggings that just begged to be worn by a performer.
Shimmering silk taffeta of argent hue comprises the foundation of these elegant music note leggings. Originating from the hips and spiralling down the legs of the wearer at a shallow incline, three series of graceful harmonies, limited ostinatos, and startling syncopations blend masterfully together to form a majestic score. Uninterrupted channels of sable charmeuse silk serve as the staff, glittering black diamond cabochons comprise the note heads, and black steel filigree forms the flags and rests. Carved from thin sheets of gleaming platinum and adhered to the silk with special resin, a trio of clefs adorns each neatly hemmed cuff. Above the ankles lie the alto clefs, the trebles above the insteps, and the bass clefs above the heels. Hewn from the same platinum, a rose bloom sits above each malleolus. Refracting any light into a symphony of colour, a trillion-cut white diamond lies safe within each bloom's petaline embrace. Three inches wide and two inches deep, a notch has been cut into each hip and carefully hemmed. Atramentous drawstrings made from several sheets of tightly braided silk secure the leggings at each hip, closing the deliberate gaps in the fabric to the wearer's content.
If not for the intricate description of the melody and notes it wouldn't have made such an impression on me. As it is they were totally made for a bard.I also picked up some platinum cufflinks while I was in the store. Personally I can never seem to find things like cufflinks so finding this to go with my black jacket just made my day.
Comprised of impeccably burnished platinum and embossed with a stunningly realistic image of the great phoenix, these rounded cufflinks are designed for scrupulous tastes. Superior to most other metals in terms of both aesthetic and physical integrity, the metal of these prestigious fasteners will allow them to retain their appeal for many decades to come. Deeply engraved into the ventral side of each cufflink is a strikingly detailed rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut white diamond embedded into its center.
@Koe > Thank you! I see your browser had you correct "centre." Heh. Its actually correct ("centre") in my designs, no worries.
Anyway, thanks so much for your business and review!
I thought I just made a mistake transitioning it. Oops. :-$
I actually like the long flowery descriptions. I recently got a pair of leggings that just begged to be worn by a performer.
Shimmering silk taffeta of argent hue comprises the foundation of these elegant music note leggings. Originating from the hips and spiralling down the legs of the wearer at a shallow incline, three series of graceful harmonies, limited ostinatos, and startling syncopations blend masterfully together to form a majestic score. Uninterrupted channels of sable charmeuse silk serve as the staff, glittering black diamond cabochons comprise the note heads, and black steel filigree forms the flags and rests. Carved from thin sheets of gleaming platinum and adhered to the silk with special resin, a trio of clefs adorns each neatly hemmed cuff. Above the ankles lie the alto clefs, the trebles above the insteps, and the bass clefs above the heels. Hewn from the same platinum, a rose bloom sits above each malleolus. Refracting any light into a symphony of colour, a trillion-cut white diamond lies safe within each bloom's petaline embrace. Three inches wide and two inches deep, a notch has been cut into each hip and carefully hemmed. Atramentous drawstrings made from several sheets of tightly braided silk secure the leggings at each hip, closing the deliberate gaps in the fabric to the wearer's content.
If not for the intricate description of the melody and notes it wouldn't have made such an impression on me. As it is they were totally made for a bard.I also picked up some platinum cufflinks while I was in the store. Personally I can never seem to find things like cufflinks so finding this to go with my black jacket just made my day.
Comprised of impeccably burnished platinum and embossed with a stunningly realistic image of the great phoenix, these rounded cufflinks are designed for scrupulous tastes. Superior to most other metals in terms of both aesthetic and physical integrity, the metal of these prestigious fasteners will allow them to retain their appeal for many decades to come. Deeply engraved into the ventral side of each cufflink is a strikingly detailed rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut white diamond embedded into its center.
@Koe > Thank you! I see your browser had you correct "centre." Heh. Its actually correct ("centre") in my designs, no worries.
Anyway, thanks so much for your business and review!
I thought I just made a mistake transitioning it. Oops.
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
I've actually lost count of the compliments (well over 30) I've gotten about my "attention to detail" and how people can fluidly envision my designs with crisp details within their minds thanks to how I write my designs. Some of my designs are actually quite brief (three mid-length sentences). I also have a few sentence structure techniques that I juggle to keep my writing interesting and relatively easy to read. As I mentioned in an earlier comment, just because you don't like an adjective or have to look up a few words, it doesn't make the writing "haughty." It just means that you stand the chance to learn a or a few new words. I have my style, and you have yours. Furthermore, I use a combination of "nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars." I even employ some "silver dollars" on occasion.
I'm not meaning to sound arrogant. I'm just being truthful here...
Plus, single pairs of shoes (while not even waterwalked) of my design have sold for 16k, 17k, 19k, and even 22k gold. That's without transferring the designs or promising exclusivity, too. My gowns and some other designs (even my ribbons) have sold for 15k and up, too. The only reason I have my wares at such low prices now (example: the same gowns for 4k gold per and less) are because demand is increasing and people with smaller budgets had given up hope of affording my designs. Furthermore, I know that my customers and clients will not stop buying my wares simply because they are more "in" and available. In fact, quite a few of my established clients/customers are elated that they can get replacement items for far less now. Am I still raking in the gold? Yes. The point is that, even though my designs are not your cup of tea, they are amazing in the eyes of many others.
I'll do my thing, and you'll do yours. Perhaps I got "overly defensive," but (again) I'm not just addressing you, Bluef.
If you'd like, I can start messaging direct quotes in private from people who've enjoyed and/or my designs.
So, stop bashing me, people. Thanks.
My post wasn’t aimed at you @Maefeng. Your response is definitely over defensive and frankly demonstrates an inability to accept criticism – or the ability to concoct the idea that others are criticizing you. The post was only meant to spur discussion on the topic of item descriptions, personal preferences, and writing style.
The point was that item, room and self descriptions don't need to be a page of text in order for them to be "crisp." I've always approached designing in Achaea like my creative writing IRL with concision and preciseness being two of the most desirable qualities of a well-written work.
Inflated, wordy, prose is by-in-large foolish as a strategy because it means someone is using more words than necessary to make one's point. It creates a linguistic fog through which it is difficult to see the subject well. It also undercuts an writer/crafter's authority (if you care about that kind of thing). Weak verbs, excessive modifiers, redundancies, and other fillers basically point to weak writing skills. The rule I was taught is that every word I write must be essential. If it doesn't advance my meaning, I should delete it.
Some people may like that wordiness in their designs, but that doesn’t mean they know how to write well or what encompasses good writing. I am definitely not a fan of wordiness. IMO it makes a design gaudy and defies the reader/viewer's ability to form meaning through their imagination - a key part of RPGs. I can certainly understand why some people may want not want to leave visual representations to a viewer's imagination, but that's always felt a little like telling someone what your physical description should impress upon others, which is something I’m also not a fan of.
As for the language in your designs or anyone’s being "haughty," I don't think I ever said that. Again, I didn't mention you specifically at all, actually. But since we're on the topic, I do think that it is a little arrogant as to assume that what you're creating is so superbly worded that others should take the time to look up its arcane terms. For me, this kind of thing points to an effort to obscure prosaic immaturity.
I fail to see the relevancy in how much gold you’ve profited from these endeavors or how it relates to a discussion of whether people believe Achaean design descriptions follow the same constructs as prose IRL. For example, I’ve made a fortune off designing clothing, jewelry, descriptions, rooms, and custom items for people – so much so that I can now afford to do it for free. Designs that sell don’t equal excellent prosaic skills. It just means people will pay for items they like, which may not be that well written or in good taste.
I hope you see that I'm not attacking you here, merely sharing a concept of may what make a high quality design.
In regards to designs and crafting in general, I much prefer thorough descriptions. I like being acquainted with the crafter's vision, even if in the end my own imagination will surely up-play (is that even a word?) some elements and downplay others. Also, I very much disagree with your idea that a fully-realized description is in any manner like telling people how to react to a description. They are totally different things, and so long as you are only going over technical aspects, it should not be a problem at all.
Well written and short are not synonyms. Something long can be crisp, and something short can feel overly vague or badly written.
And you won't understand the cause of your grief...
In regards to designs and crafting in general, I much prefer thorough descriptions. I like being acquainted with the crafter's vision, even if in the end my own imagination will surely up-play (is that even a word?) some elements and downplay others. Also, I very much disagree with your idea that a fully-realized description is in any manner like telling people how to react to a description. They are totally different things, and so long as you are only going over technical aspects, it should not be a problem at all.
Well written and short are not synonyms. Something long can be crisp, and something short can feel overly vague or badly written.
I totally respect that opinion. It is not my cup of tea anymore. When I first started crafting, I wrote a lot like @Maefeng describes in her examples above, actually. But some time as a mortal builder and many more years as a writer corrected that urge in me.
Oh, short and concise/precise are also not synonyms - at least not in terms of prose. Brevity in writing refers not to the length of the description/writing but to the writer's ability to craft an effective piece by eliminating redundancy without omitting important information. Essentially, it is the art of using no more words than necessary to convey an idea.
Nocroth's shield. Not the best, maybe, but I like it fine:
a weathered targe shield studded with ivory
Sullied and forgotten, a beaten shield of cobalt blue lies here.
Crafted of steel and coloured what must once have been a brilliant blue, this shield has seen better days. Numerous dents and scratches mar the long unpolished metal, and the ivory studs which decorate its concave surface are pitted and stained with dirt and blood. A boss of blackened steel moulded into the form of a twisted and eyeless daemonic visage grows outward from the centre of the shield's circular face, while on the reverse are affixed buckled enarmes bearing barbs dangerously sharp, promising exquisite pain to any who would dare take this item up.
And the WIELD reaction that nobody but me ever gets to see:
As you slip your arm through the worn leather straps, they suddenly stir and begin to move of their own accord. The enarmes grasp at and tighten hungrily around your hand and forearm, and their vicious teeth dig into your flesh, eager to taste your oozing blood. Searing pain floods your captive limb and flows throughout your body, sharpening your senses as only agony can. Settling into place, the shield pulses briefly, its hunger sated.
Nocroth's shield. Not the best, maybe, but I like it fine:
a weathered targe shield studded with ivory
Sullied and forgotten, a beaten shield of cobalt blue lies here.
Crafted of steel and coloured what must once have been a brilliant blue, this shield has seen better days. Numerous dents and scratches mar the long unpolished metal, and the ivory studs which decorate its concave surface are pitted and stained with dirt and blood. A boss of blackened steel moulded into the form of a twisted and eyeless daemonic visage grows outward from the centre of the shield's circular face, while on the reverse are affixed buckled enarmes bearing barbs dangerously sharp, promising exquisite pain to any who would dare take this item up.
And the WIELD reaction that nobody but me ever gets to see:
As you slip your arm through the worn leather straps, they suddenly stir and begin to move of their own accord. The enarmes grasp at and tighten hungrily around your hand and forearm, and their vicious teeth dig into your flesh, eager to taste your oozing blood. Searing pain floods your captive limb and flows throughout your body, sharpening your senses as only agony can. Settling into place, the shield pulses briefly, its hunger sated.
Love it. So many good things here, but especially that daemonic visage!
@Bluef Thanks! I wrote those things years ago. I was pleasantly surprised when I got back after my five year hiatus to find that they were not, in fact, awful.
Re: The earlier discussion of style. I likes me some flowery words and ain't afraid of a little grandiloquence now and then (see: my news posts), but my opinion is mostly the same as Bluef's and @Jiraishin's. Yeah, sometimes you've got a little more to say, or maybe you've got reason to be a little poetic, but it's hard to strike the right balance. It usually just ends up turning your prose an awful shade of purple. I don't doubt that there's a demand for florid descriptions; back when I first got into freeform RP I thought that stuff was the pinnacle of the writer's craft, and I'm sure people still do. These days, I find concision much more impressive.
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
I've actually lost count of the compliments (well over 30) I've gotten about my "attention to detail" and how people can fluidly envision my designs with crisp details within their minds thanks to how I write my designs. Some of my designs are actually quite brief (three mid-length sentences). I also have a few sentence structure techniques that I juggle to keep my writing interesting and relatively easy to read. As I mentioned in an earlier comment, just because you don't like an adjective or have to look up a few words, it doesn't make the writing "haughty." It just means that you stand the chance to learn a or a few new words. I have my style, and you have yours. Furthermore, I use a combination of "nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars." I even employ some "silver dollars" on occasion.
I'm not meaning to sound arrogant. I'm just being truthful here...
Plus, single pairs of shoes (while not even waterwalked) of my design have sold for 16k, 17k, 19k, and even 22k gold. That's without transferring the designs or promising exclusivity, too. My gowns and some other designs (even my ribbons) have sold for 15k and up, too. The only reason I have my wares at such low prices now (example: the same gowns for 4k gold per and less) are because demand is increasing and people with smaller budgets had given up hope of affording my designs. Furthermore, I know that my customers and clients will not stop buying my wares simply because they are more "in" and available. In fact, quite a few of my established clients/customers are elated that they can get replacement items for far less now. Am I still raking in the gold? Yes. The point is that, even though my designs are not your cup of tea, they are amazing in the eyes of many others.
I'll do my thing, and you'll do yours. Perhaps I got "overly defensive," but (again) I'm not just addressing you, Bluef.
If you'd like, I can start messaging direct quotes in private from people who've enjoyed and/or my designs.
So, stop bashing me, people. Thanks.
My post wasn’t aimed at you @Maefeng. Your response is definitely over defensive and frankly demonstrates an inability to accept criticism – or the ability to concoct the idea that others are criticizing you. The post was only meant to spur discussion on the topic of item descriptions, personal preferences, and writing style.
The point was that item, room and self descriptions don't need to be a page of text in order for them to be "crisp." I've always approached designing in Achaea like my creative writing IRL with concision and preciseness being two of the most desirable qualities of a well-written work.
Inflated, wordy, prose is by-in-large foolish as a strategy because it means someone is using more words than necessary to make one's point. It creates a linguistic fog through which it is difficult to see the subject well. It also undercuts an writer/crafter's authority (if you care about that kind of thing). Weak verbs, excessive modifiers, redundancies, and other fillers basically point to weak writing skills. The rule I was taught is that every word I write must be essential. If it doesn't advance my meaning, I should delete it.
Some people may like that wordiness in their designs, but that doesn’t mean they know how to write well or what encompasses good writing. I am definitely not a fan of wordiness. IMO it makes a design gaudy and defies the reader/viewer's ability to form meaning through their imagination - a key part of RPGs. I can certainly understand why some people may want not want to leave visual representations to a viewer's imagination, but that's always felt a little like telling someone what your physical description should impress upon others, which is something I’m also not a fan of.
As for the language in your designs or anyone’s being "haughty," I don't think I ever said that. Again, I didn't mention you specifically at all, actually. But since we're on the topic, I do think that it is a little arrogant as to assume that what you're creating is so superbly worded that others should take the time to look up its arcane terms. For me, this kind of thing points to an effort to obscure prosaic immaturity.
I fail to see the relevancy in how much gold you’ve profited from these endeavors or how it relates to a discussion of whether people believe Achaean design descriptions follow the same constructs as prose IRL. For example, I’ve made a fortune off designing clothing, jewelry, descriptions, rooms, and custom items for people – so much so that I can now afford to do it for free. Designs that sell don’t equal excellent prosaic skills. It just means people will pay for items they like, which may not be that well written or in good taste.
I hope you see that I'm not attacking you here, merely sharing a concept of may what make a high quality design.
I didn't say you used the term "haughty." The post was to "@Bluef and others." Furthermore, you're saying that I am afflicted with "prosaic immaturity?" Really? That makes me laugh. Thank you for the endorphin release. You might be shocked with how many mortal writers' finalized writings (as in actual in-game items and denizens) I have sent typo reports on and have had fixed. I doubt that not one of those items/denizens was of your design, what with your years of being a mortal builder.
You come across, to me, as conceited and like you're trying to slam ornate writing as "weak." My wording is concise, but I use adjectives. So, does that make my designs not concise? Exactly how is my writing immature? Can you give examples? Also, what makes you so much better at writing than me? Is it because you've been writing for years and that you're accustomed to writing room descriptions and item descriptions for Achaea, whose general atmosphere (in non-crafting areas) is laden with brevity (brevity being very great sometimes)? I'm not claiming that I am a better writer than anyone, and yet I'm being slammed by people who don't share/like/prefer my writing styles (yes, I have more than one). Yet, they do not educate themselves on my other designs. Just do NDS MATCH OWNER MAEFENG.
You can't visit my shop as Bluef, I know, so it's not like you can actually view my designs in-game unless they're worn or shown off by others. So, I'm not shaming you for your ignorance as much as the people that are able to walk into Ashtan and view what I have for sale. The descriptions that -I- have posted just happen to be some of my favourite and non-protected (exclusive by request) designs. That doesn't mean that ALL of my designs are like those ones.
People need to stop attacking each other over who is a better writer. There are plenty of designers with their own styles that are good in their own right. I have people that do adore my writing and that do buy my works. I have my fans and you have yours. My writings don't appeal to everyone, and that's just fine. I cater to certain tastes. I don't have to cater to yours.
We should try to learn from other writers instead of slamming them. There's this false guise of objectivity, when really all you and others are doing is slamming other people's styles and (indirectly or not) professing that yours is better. That's not in any way mature, dignified, or professional.
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
I've actually lost count of the compliments (well over 30) I've gotten about my "attention to detail" and how people can fluidly envision my designs with crisp details within their minds thanks to how I write my designs. Some of my designs are actually quite brief (three mid-length sentences). I also have a few sentence structure techniques that I juggle to keep my writing interesting and relatively easy to read. As I mentioned in an earlier comment, just because you don't like an adjective or have to look up a few words, it doesn't make the writing "haughty." It just means that you stand the chance to learn a or a few new words. I have my style, and you have yours. Furthermore, I use a combination of "nickels, dimes, quarters, and half dollars." I even employ some "silver dollars" on occasion.
I'm not meaning to sound arrogant. I'm just being truthful here...
Plus, single pairs of shoes (while not even waterwalked) of my design have sold for 16k, 17k, 19k, and even 22k gold. That's without transferring the designs or promising exclusivity, too. My gowns and some other designs (even my ribbons) have sold for 15k and up, too. The only reason I have my wares at such low prices now (example: the same gowns for 4k gold per and less) are because demand is increasing and people with smaller budgets had given up hope of affording my designs. Furthermore, I know that my customers and clients will not stop buying my wares simply because they are more "in" and available. In fact, quite a few of my established clients/customers are elated that they can get replacement items for far less now. Am I still raking in the gold? Yes. The point is that, even though my designs are not your cup of tea, they are amazing in the eyes of many others.
I'll do my thing, and you'll do yours. Perhaps I got "overly defensive," but (again) I'm not just addressing you, Bluef.
If you'd like, I can start messaging direct quotes in private from people who've enjoyed and/or my designs.
So, stop bashing me, people. Thanks.
My post wasn’t aimed at you @Maefeng. Your response is definitely over defensive and frankly demonstrates an inability to accept criticism – or the ability to concoct the idea that others are criticizing you. The post was only meant to spur discussion on the topic of item descriptions, personal preferences, and writing style.
The point was that item, room and self descriptions don't need to be a page of text in order for them to be "crisp." I've always approached designing in Achaea like my creative writing IRL with concision and preciseness being two of the most desirable qualities of a well-written work.
Inflated, wordy, prose is by-in-large foolish as a strategy because it means someone is using more words than necessary to make one's point. It creates a linguistic fog through which it is difficult to see the subject well. It also undercuts an writer/crafter's authority (if you care about that kind of thing). Weak verbs, excessive modifiers, redundancies, and other fillers basically point to weak writing skills. The rule I was taught is that every word I write must be essential. If it doesn't advance my meaning, I should delete it.
Some people may like that wordiness in their designs, but that doesn’t mean they know how to write well or what encompasses good writing. I am definitely not a fan of wordiness. IMO it makes a design gaudy and defies the reader/viewer's ability to form meaning through their imagination - a key part of RPGs. I can certainly understand why some people may want not want to leave visual representations to a viewer's imagination, but that's always felt a little like telling someone what your physical description should impress upon others, which is something I’m also not a fan of.
As for the language in your designs or anyone’s being "haughty," I don't think I ever said that. Again, I didn't mention you specifically at all, actually. But since we're on the topic, I do think that it is a little arrogant as to assume that what you're creating is so superbly worded that others should take the time to look up its arcane terms. For me, this kind of thing points to an effort to obscure prosaic immaturity.
I fail to see the relevancy in how much gold you’ve profited from these endeavors or how it relates to a discussion of whether people believe Achaean design descriptions follow the same constructs as prose IRL. For example, I’ve made a fortune off designing clothing, jewelry, descriptions, rooms, and custom items for people – so much so that I can now afford to do it for free. Designs that sell don’t equal excellent prosaic skills. It just means people will pay for items they like, which may not be that well written or in good taste.
I hope you see that I'm not attacking you here, merely sharing a concept of may what make a high quality design.
I didn't say you used the term "haughty." The post was to "@Bluef and others." Furthermore, you're saying that I am afflicted with "prosaic immaturity?" Really? That makes me laugh. Thank you for the endorphin release. You might be shocked with how many mortal writers' finalized writings (as in actual in-game items and denizens) I have sent typo reports on and have had fixed. I doubt that not one of those items/denizens was of your design, what with your years of being a mortal builder.
You come across, to me, as conceited and like you're trying to slam ornate writing as "weak." My wording is concise, but I use adjectives. So, does that make my designs not concise? Exactly how is my writing immature? Can you give examples? Also, what makes you so much better at writing than me? Is it because you've been writing for years and that you're accustomed to writing room descriptions and item descriptions for Achaea, whose general atmosphere (in non-crafting areas) is laden with brevity (brevity being very great sometimes)? I'm not claiming that I am a better writer than anyone, and yet I'm being slammed by people who don't share/like/prefer my writing styles (yes, I have more than one). Yet, they do not educate themselves on my other designs. Just do NDS MATCH OWNER MAEFENG.
You can't visit my shop as Bluef, I know, so it's not like you can actually view my designs in-game unless they're worn or shown off by others. So, I'm not shaming you for your ignorance as much as the people that are able to walk into Ashtan and view what I have for sale. The descriptions that -I- have posted just happen to be some of my favourite and non-protected (exclusive by request) designs. That doesn't mean that ALL of my designs are like those ones.
People need to stop attacking each other over who is a better writer. There are plenty of designers with their own styles that are good in their own right. I have people that do adore my writing and that do buy my works. I have my fans and you have yours. My writings don't appeal to everyone, and that's just fine. I cater to certain tastes. I don't have to cater to yours.
We should try to learn from other writers instead of slamming them. There's this false guise of objectivity, when really all you and others are doing is slamming other people's styles and (indirectly or not) professing that yours is better. That's not in any way mature, dignified, or professional.
I doubt the fact that you've managed to hit the TYPO button on things IC would unsettle me or cause awe, @Maefeng. What does shock me though is your need to build up
your own credibility here in response to postings that a) weren't aimed at you
and b) were intended to clarify, not incite.
I never said I was “better” at writing than you. I wouldn’t make such a claim because reactions to writing are subjective. To each their own tastes. But just
as in the real world, you can’t point to Whitman and say “That’s crap,”
while pointing to Ginsberg lauding his virtues without explaining your position
and why you hold it. An opinion still doesn't become fact though, even then. It just adds to
the discussion.
I stated an opinion. I backed up that opinion with
reasoning. If you’d like to argue the idea that well-honed creative
writing in general or in Achaea doesn’t require a level of conciseness or
precision, by all means do so. I invited thoughts, after all. But don’t attack
me personally. There is no need to insult me, @Maefeng. That kind of response
is not productive or conducive to discussions here.
You’re taking all of this far too personally. It’s blinded
you to the fact that you’re not taking your own advice to “learn from other
writers instead of slamming them.” Let's drop this now and go back to discussing descriptions and what we like or dislike about them, please.
@Jiraishin Should sell those designs in a shop somewhere! (Might buy one or three) Have a brand, merchant the designs!
I think it's a fine line between describing too much and too little. Say with the things you might buy in a general store, those are mostly brief; but sometimes I'd like to know a little more about what I'm buying. Not everything needs to have two lines describing colour or whatever, but it's nice to highlight an important feature, say a jewel, a particular engraving pattern, a button design.. and so on.
I also enjoy looking at everyone's crafting marks - a butterfly, a bow and arrow, a rose, a serpent, a monogram. Does add a nice touch.
I agree @Coeur and @Jiraishin. I suggested in the Gold Sinks thread that we be given the opportunity to really add those marks somehow (maybe by licensing a mark and then paying a cost to add it to each design?). I love their use but it I would love it a hell of a lot more if it appeared elsewhere in the item description and/or in colour!
@Bluef > All it takes to "really add those designs somehow" is a bit of creativity. Here's a list of some of the ways I add my mark. The set of designs that this list is from is themed, even. I copy/pasted directly from my MSWord file (hence the formatting).
Etched
into the rear interior of the circlet is a rose bloom flaunting an inset,
one-carat white diamond of trillion cut perched within its centre, indicating
the circlet's authenticity and origin.
Seven masterfully
sculpted and evenly spaced rose blooms of platinum ring the bottom of the skirt
above the metal hem. A twelve-carat, trillion-cut ruby of scarlet hue lies safe
within the petaline embrace of each rose.
Tactfully sewn into the inner lining of the skirt with
silver silk threading is a barely noticeable rose bloom bearing a trillion-cut
white diamond in its centre, the mark of the designer.
A hallmark of the designer,
a rose bloom flaunting a trillion-cut gemstone in its centre is meticulously
engraved into the interior of the band.
Stylishly holding the
shoes in place, a slender argent strap embraces each ankle, adorned with a
large rose bloom button hewn from a single white diamond. A hallmark of the
designer in itself, each luminous bloom daintily flaunts a three-carat,
trillion-cut crimson ruby in its centre.
@Jiraishin Should sell those designs in a shop somewhere! (Might buy one or three) Have a brand, merchant the designs!
I think it's a fine line between describing too much and too little. Say with the things you might buy in a general store, those are mostly brief; but sometimes I'd like to know a little more about what I'm buying. Not everything needs to have two lines describing colour or whatever, but it's nice to highlight an important feature, say a jewel, a particular engraving pattern, a button design.. and so on.
I also enjoy looking at everyone's crafting marks - a butterfly, a bow and arrow, a rose, a serpent, a monogram. Does add a nice touch.
I agree @Coeur and @Jiraishin. I suggested in the Gold Sinks thread that we be given the opportunity to really add those marks somehow (maybe by licensing a mark and then paying a cost to add it to each design?). I love their use but it I would love it a hell of a lot more if it appeared elsewhere in the item description and/or in colour!
@Bluef > All it takes to "really add those designs somehow" is a bit of creativity. Here's a list of some of the ways I add my mark. The set of designs that this list is from is themed, even. I copy/pasted directly from my MSWord file (hence the formatting).
Etched
into the rear interior of the circlet is a rose bloom flaunting an inset,
one-carat white diamond of trillion cut perched within its centre, indicating
the circlet's authenticity and origin.
Seven masterfully
sculpted and evenly spaced rose blooms of platinum ring the bottom of the skirt
above the metal hem. A twelve-carat, trillion-cut ruby of scarlet hue lies safe
within the petaline embrace of each rose.
Tactfully sewn into the inner lining of the skirt with
silver silk threading is a barely noticeable rose bloom bearing a trillion-cut
white diamond in its centre, the mark of the designer.
A hallmark of the designer,
a rose bloom flaunting a trillion-cut gemstone in its centre is meticulously
engraved into the interior of the band.
Stylishly holding the
shoes in place, a slender argent strap embraces each ankle, adorned with a
large rose bloom button hewn from a single white diamond. A hallmark of the
designer in itself, each luminous bloom daintily flaunts a three-carat,
trillion-cut crimson ruby in its centre.
In another forum gold sinks were being discussed. There are several tailors whose marks don't appear in the UUC, or who have stopped putting them on designs because they feel they detract from the appearance. A formal way of registering and adding them was brought up as a possible gold sink. If you need to know what that is, check Sarapis' definition in the corresponding thread.
Don't get me wrong, I like tailor's marks. I've had one since I was 25 IC: a diminutive blue rose. But some of those used by certain crafters are as long as the design itself and that, to me, isn't attractive. Bluef won't wear items with a mark in the description as a general rule - mostly because I so often find them tacky - a little like a scratchy label sticking out of a shirt.
@Jiraishin Should sell those designs in a shop somewhere! (Might buy one or three) Have a brand, merchant the designs!
I think it's a fine line between describing too much and too little. Say with the things you might buy in a general store, those are mostly brief; but sometimes I'd like to know a little more about what I'm buying. Not everything needs to have two lines describing colour or whatever, but it's nice to highlight an important feature, say a jewel, a particular engraving pattern, a button design.. and so on.
I also enjoy looking at everyone's crafting marks - a butterfly, a bow and arrow, a rose, a serpent, a monogram. Does add a nice touch.
I agree @Coeur and @Jiraishin. I suggested in the Gold Sinks thread that we be given the opportunity to really add those marks somehow (maybe by licensing a mark and then paying a cost to add it to each design?). I love their use but it I would love it a hell of a lot more if it appeared elsewhere in the item description and/or in colour!
@Bluef > All it takes to "really add those designs somehow" is a bit of creativity. Here's a list of some of the ways I add my mark. The set of designs that this list is from is themed, even. I copy/pasted directly from my MSWord file (hence the formatting).
Etched
into the rear interior of the circlet is a rose bloom flaunting an inset,
one-carat white diamond of trillion cut perched within its centre, indicating
the circlet's authenticity and origin.
Seven masterfully
sculpted and evenly spaced rose blooms of platinum ring the bottom of the skirt
above the metal hem. A twelve-carat, trillion-cut ruby of scarlet hue lies safe
within the petaline embrace of each rose.
Tactfully sewn into the inner lining of the skirt with
silver silk threading is a barely noticeable rose bloom bearing a trillion-cut
white diamond in its centre, the mark of the designer.
A hallmark of the designer,
a rose bloom flaunting a trillion-cut gemstone in its centre is meticulously
engraved into the interior of the band.
Stylishly holding the
shoes in place, a slender argent strap embraces each ankle, adorned with a
large rose bloom button hewn from a single white diamond. A hallmark of the
designer in itself, each luminous bloom daintily flaunts a three-carat,
trillion-cut crimson ruby in its centre.
In another forum gold sinks were being discussed. There are several tailors whose marks don't appear in the UUC, or who have stopped putting them on designs because they feel they detract from the appearance. A formal way of registering and adding them was brought up as a possible gold sink. If you need to know what that is, check Sarapis' definition in the corresponding thread.
Don't get me wrong, I like tailor's marks. I've had one since I was 25 IC: a diminutive blue rose. But some of those used by certain crafters are as long as the design itself and that, to me, isn't attractive. Bluef won't wear items with a mark in the description as a general rule - mostly because I so often find them tacky - a little like a scratchy label sticking out of a shirt.
@Bluef > That makes sense. I hope you didn't think I was implying that you don't have creativity. I know that some marks must be really hard to incorporate into designs, anyway. I lucked out (sort of) and figured out a mark that had more than one meaning and can be used in various ways. I etch it. I sculpt it (with actual platinum roses). I use it other ways. I've even branded it (that would hurt sooo bad). I have yet to simply "dye" it into fabric, though. I feel like just dyeing it after I've used it in so many other (more creative, I think) fashions would be somehow insulting to my creativity and to the mark itself.
I actually intend to get Maefeng's mark tattooed on myself irl. I'm thinking of getting two versions of equal dimensions but of different colour pairs. I know, totally nerdy, but Maefeng is a big part of my life, and so is her designing. I mean, it really is ME behind all of what she does. Also, her mark has significance to me as a rl human, not just to Maefeng.
Great to see some discussion going on about crafting, descriptions etc.
Another design to add to the mix. Pretty personal and special, only a few made, and @Katia is the great designer I worked with:
This wide band is designed to encircle the arm snugly just above the elbow, the crystal glittering against the skin. Carved from a single piece of crystalline stone, the natural flaws within have been used to great advantage by the jeweller as they catch and reflect the available light, sparkling with the colours of the rainbow. A narrow band of silver trims the top and bottom edge, the metal pale and soft against the clear stone. Incorporating the flaws, a delicate pattern raised from the smooth surface reveals two wings resting against each other forming a heart shape, the iridescent feathers protecting a dark red heart embedded in the centre of the armband. The intense crimson shade appears from within the clear crystal itself, a true imperfection made perfect.
As a side question for discussion, how did the designers decide on their mark? Would like to hear some stories (if possible).
My first few designs didn't have a mark at all. I made a mark because when designs decayed out of my ownership, there was no way that anyone could know that the people who bought them didn't also design them, and that idea annoyed me.
I was looking for symbols that were simple and Jiraishin-like. A bow was really the most obvious choice in that regard. I made it a bow-and-arrow so there was no ambiguity as to whether it was the kind of bow you string or the kind of bow you tie. I think I also might have designed that brooch before I thought of the mark, which could have influenced the decision-making process.
________________________ The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Lying like an exhumed body, a shield sits here, surrounded by a whispering aura.
A blackened spine runs up the middle of the shield, dividing the two racks of cracked ribs which form the body of the shield. Each side is topped with a halved, jaw-less skull in profile, the eye sockets blank and cavernous. Scapulae have been relocated to the base of the spine and sharpened, the porous interior rotten and open where the pieces have been broken. The bones are new, without the time to decompose, and some bear marks of tiny teeth and the swellings of water erosion. Despite the furrows and cracks which run through the bones, the shield remains strong and vibrates with a slow, firm presence throughout the whole. Ghostly tendrils of mist wisp out from the shield, forming vestiges of outstretched arms and tormented faces which fade and dissipate.
Eat like a caveman, train like a beast. Champions are not born, they are made.
Comments
I design clothing much more frequently than jewellery, since it is both cheaper to make and much easier to sell. I don't do much design work anymore since I don't have a shop. I think this thread might be the only place I can show off old designs now, so I apologise for sharing so many.
This was one of the first things I ever designed, well before I actually got a jeweller's license. Still one of my favourites.
A silver bow-and-arrow brooch
This brooch is shaped into a miniature darkbow, its distinctively
twisted form expertly rendered in silver. Strung with fine silver chain,
the bow is tightly drawn, bent back to its limits. A silver arrow
fletched with dark steel is nocked at the string, its shaft concealing
the slender pin mechanism beneath.
Here's another old jewellery design, one much more typical of my design style when I started out:
A glimmering opal bracelet
Meant to be worn carelessly loose around the wrist, this pure and polished,
silver bracelet carries a light grace. The delicate, metal links that comprise
it are bent and flattened into fragile S-shapes, forming a twisting, intricate
chain of almost helical sections that are forever shifting and throwing light
off their surfaces. A small, round clasp of the same bright silver closes the
circle in a natural manner, as if the chain flowed together into a flat, silver
bead. The other end of the bracelet holds a small stone of mesmerising beauty;
a silver-set opal, its subtle greys and blues catching fire in the light. A
minuscule bow-and-arrow has been etched on the back of the silver clasp.
Everything used to be elaborate and shiny. And elegant. I overused the word elegant, and to a lesser extent subtle, to the point where I try to avoid using either word in my designs whenever possible.
To give you an idea of the kind of clothing I make for Jiraishin:
Comfortable black trousers
Meant to be worn with a belt and tucked into boots, these simple cotton
trousers are a neutral, slightly dusty black in colour. Plain in appearance,
the trousers are nevertheless very well-made and comfortable. They are also
extremely tough, durable enough to withstand the rigors of combat, exploration,
or simple labour while retaining the flexibility necessary for any of those
activities. A tiny black bow-and-arrow has been embroidered on the inside of
the left trouser leg.
I wish I could redo his jacket's examined descrip. I don't want to completely redo it, just tighten up the writing now that I have a few years more experience designing things.
Finally, this is one of my most recent tailoring designs: it was for a semi-formal kind of party that Jiraishin was invited to. It was one of those rare designs that turned out exactly the way I intended.
An understated grey dress shirt
Formal in cut and simple in execution, this collared shirt is made of fine,
summer-weight cotton dyed the palest shade of smoke. The sleeves are cuffed
above the elbow, secured by buttons of pale grey glass; a row of similar
buttons runs down the shirt's front. Silver thread glints at the seams, and a
tiny silver bow-and-arrow has been embroidered at the base of the collar.
I needed half-sleeves partly to show the Mark of the Twin on his arm, partly because then I could reveal the arms and show off a bracelet.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, and I don't mean to poison the nice well of compliments we have going here right now, but I would really like to know if anyone else feels the same way:
I wish more contemporary designers would remember that less really is more. The designs I like best are precise and active in their language. They show the uniqueness of a garment or jewelry item without detailing each little crack or crevice in the design or using an unnecessary flurry of over the top adjectives and claims about an item. This makes me cringe when I see it IC.
I once had a creative writing mentor tell me, "Never use a fifty cent word, when a nickel will do."
To me, this means that sometimes displaying things in their truest light means preparing the world for their reception, and one of the ways you do that as a writer is not to over do - for example, don't write a 20-line examined (or self) description when you can achieve the same overall effect with a little more effort in six lines. Use everyday language that presents a thing with exactness and accuracy to achieve the best results.
Thoughts?
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
On the other hand, I also understand the urge to describe every detail. When I have something visualized, I want other people to see it exactly the way I do. I've also seen some really beautiful longer descriptions. I don't have the gift for that, so I try to keep mine short and to the point.
If that's the kind of writing you like, I take commissions. /shamelessplug
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Crafting marks are nice because even if a design lapses out of your possession and someone else buys it and sells it in their shop, it's still possible to see the original designer.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
Also, I can describe a greater range of colours than the game client can show.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
If you'd like, I can start messaging direct quotes in private from people who've enjoyed and/or my designs.
Shimmering silk taffeta of argent hue comprises the foundation of these elegant music note leggings. Originating from the hips and spiralling down the legs of the wearer at a shallow incline, three series of graceful harmonies, limited ostinatos, and startling syncopations blend masterfully together to form a majestic score. Uninterrupted channels of sable charmeuse silk serve as the staff, glittering black diamond cabochons comprise the note heads, and black steel filigree forms the flags and rests. Carved from thin sheets of gleaming platinum and adhered to the silk with special resin, a trio of clefs adorns each neatly hemmed cuff. Above the ankles lie the alto clefs, the trebles above the insteps, and the bass clefs above the heels. Hewn from the same platinum, a rose bloom sits above each malleolus. Refracting any light into a symphony of colour, a trillion-cut white diamond lies safe within each bloom's petaline embrace. Three inches wide and two inches deep, a notch has been cut into each hip and carefully hemmed. Atramentous drawstrings made from several sheets of tightly braided silk secure the leggings at each hip, closing the deliberate gaps in the fabric to the wearer's content.
If not for the intricate description of the melody and notes it wouldn't have made such an impression on me. As it is they were totally made for a bard.I also picked up some platinum cufflinks while I was in the store. Personally I can never seem to find things like cufflinks so finding this to go with my black jacket just made my day.
Comprised of impeccably burnished platinum and embossed with a stunningly realistic image of the great phoenix, these rounded cufflinks are designed for scrupulous tastes. Superior to most other metals in terms of both aesthetic and physical integrity, the metal of these prestigious fasteners will allow them to retain their appeal for many decades to come. Deeply engraved into the ventral side of each cufflink is a strikingly detailed rose bloom cradling a trillion-cut white diamond embedded into its center.
:-$
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
And you won't understand the cause of your grief...
...But you'll always follow the voices beneath.
Oh, short and concise/precise are also not synonyms - at least not in terms of prose. Brevity in writing refers not to the length of the description/writing but to the writer's ability to craft an effective piece by eliminating redundancy without omitting important information. Essentially, it is the art of using no more words than necessary to convey an idea.
Hope that clarifies what I meant!
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
I doubt the fact that you've managed to hit the TYPO button on things IC would unsettle me or cause awe, @Maefeng. What does shock me though is your need to build up your own credibility here in response to postings that a) weren't aimed at you and b) were intended to clarify, not incite.
I never said I was “better” at writing than you. I wouldn’t make such a claim because reactions to writing are subjective. To each their own tastes. But just as in the real world, you can’t point to Whitman and say “That’s crap,” while pointing to Ginsberg lauding his virtues without explaining your position and why you hold it. An opinion still doesn't become fact though, even then. It just adds to the discussion.
I stated an opinion. I backed up that opinion with reasoning. If you’d like to argue the idea that well-honed creative writing in general or in Achaea doesn’t require a level of conciseness or precision, by all means do so. I invited thoughts, after all. But don’t attack me personally. There is no need to insult me, @Maefeng. That kind of response is not productive or conducive to discussions here.
You’re taking all of this far too personally. It’s blinded you to the fact that you’re not taking your own advice to “learn from other writers instead of slamming them.” Let's drop this now and go back to discussing descriptions and what we like or dislike about them, please.
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
Etched into the rear interior of the circlet is a rose bloom flaunting an inset, one-carat white diamond of trillion cut perched within its centre, indicating the circlet's authenticity and origin.
Seven masterfully sculpted and evenly spaced rose blooms of platinum ring the bottom of the skirt above the metal hem. A twelve-carat, trillion-cut ruby of scarlet hue lies safe within the petaline embrace of each rose.
Tactfully sewn into the inner lining of the skirt with silver silk threading is a barely noticeable rose bloom bearing a trillion-cut white diamond in its centre, the mark of the designer.
A hallmark of the designer, a rose bloom flaunting a trillion-cut gemstone in its centre is meticulously engraved into the interior of the band.
Stylishly holding the shoes in place, a slender argent strap embraces each ankle, adorned with a large rose bloom button hewn from a single white diamond. A hallmark of the designer in itself, each luminous bloom daintily flaunts a three-carat, trillion-cut crimson ruby in its centre.
Don't get me wrong, I like tailor's marks. I've had one since I was 25 IC: a diminutive blue rose. But some of those used by certain crafters are as long as the design itself and that, to me, isn't attractive. Bluef won't wear items with a mark in the description as a general rule - mostly because I so often find them tacky - a little like a scratchy label sticking out of a shirt.
Album of Bluef during her time in Achaea
I was looking for symbols that were simple and Jiraishin-like. A bow was really the most obvious choice in that regard. I made it a bow-and-arrow so there was no ambiguity as to whether it was the kind of bow you string or the kind of bow you tie. I think I also might have designed that brooch before I thought of the mark, which could have influenced the decision-making process.
The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."
(Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
a shield of damned souls
Lying like an exhumed body, a shield sits here, surrounded by a whispering aura.
A blackened spine runs up the middle of the shield, dividing the two racks of cracked ribs which form the body of the shield. Each side is topped with a halved, jaw-less skull in profile, the eye sockets blank and cavernous. Scapulae have been relocated to the base of the spine and sharpened, the porous interior rotten and open where the pieces have been broken. The bones are new, without the time to decompose, and some bear marks of tiny teeth and the swellings of water erosion. Despite the furrows and cracks which run through the bones, the shield remains strong and vibrates with a slow, firm presence throughout the whole. Ghostly tendrils of mist wisp out from the shield, forming vestiges of outstretched arms and tormented faces which fade and dissipate.
Eat like a caveman, train like a beast. Champions are not born, they are made.