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Funny Stories or OOC stuff you just wanna share

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  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    Trey said:
    Szanthax said:
    Aktillum said:
    Szanthax said:
    Mine involve drugs... :(
    Haha mine too! This one time, my boss asked me to take his wife out and show her a good time, since he'd be out of town. I guess there were trust issues in his marriage, and he saw me as a dependable guy that wouldn't, y'know, eat the forbidden fruit if you catch my drift.

    I thought it was a really weird request and it was made worse by the fact that my boss had a reputation for being ultra-protective of his wife. There was a rumor going around that he'd thrown a guy off a balcony for giving his wife a foot massage. Now, a foot massage ain't really an innocent thing, but throwing a guy off a balcony is kind of an overreaction I think. It's debatable I guess.

    So anyway, I take his wife out, we have a good time, and we go back to her house. So I excuse myself to the bathroom, in the middle of a moral dilemma over whether or not I should give my boss's wife the ol' 3-legged piledriver, and somehow she discovers my drug stash in my coat pocket. So she snorts a massive rail and ends up overdosing, I come out of the bathroom and see her twitching on the couch, I panick cause holy shit, if my boss's wife dies on my watch, its my head on the chopping block y'know?

    So I end up calling my drug dealer at like 1am, he's all pissed because I'm talking about drugs and women overdosing over the phone and he's a conspiracy nut, but I'm like fuck this this is an emergency. So I load my boss's wife in my car, haul ass over to my drug dealer's house, he's yelling at me like "what the fuck are you doing bringing her here?" while I'm carrying her drug-addled ass into his house.

    We ended up jamming a big ass needle full of adrenaline straight into her heart, and she comes back from the almost-dead, like some kind of heroin addicted Jesus Christ.

    Laughs were had all around after that, good times for everyone. True story btw.
    Ha..thats a little hardcore. 


    How do you not recognize Pulp Fiction? :(
    said true story... so i took it at that.



    Utianima
  • TreyTrey Member Posts: 4,797 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    This is the reason we have *sadshake*

    AustereMami
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    I've lived through crazier...



  • CitrusCitrus Member Posts: 84 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Aktillum said:
    If you want funny drug stories that aren't liberated from popular cult movies, @Szanthax, umm...

    One time I took shrooms and I was utterly, completely convinced that my cat wanted to telepathically communicate with me. I mean he's staring at me, meowing, and I'm staring back like "what're you trying to say buddy?" and he's like "meowww". So I'm like, focusing super hard on projecting my thoughts at him, convinced that somehow we could get past the human-animal language barrier and hear eachother's thoughts if we try hard enough.

    This sent me into an inner existential debate over whether or not animals had a Buddhist nature, and whether we were all souls trapped in different bodies and if we broke past the barriers of the physical realm, we could communicate on a spiritual level, and I ended up screaming "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, MAN!" at my cat.

    That same night I ended up watching an animated stick figure dance to pop music, and this led into another existential debate in my mind over whether or not he was aware he was merely a stick figure, if he realized his existence was limited to this 3 minute video, and I think I said something to my gf at the time (who was also tripping) along the lines of "A man isn't a man if he doesn't know he's dancing".
    Animals are weird when you're on psychedelics.  Whenever my old roommate and I would do any psychedelics his dog would always act super weird, like it knew we were really fucked up and would just sit there and watch us (this is normally a super hyper dog).  I always felt like the roles got reversed, the dog was just chilling watching us and were walking around the house acting like idiots.
  • ReilochReiloch Member Posts: 134 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    edited February 2016
    I knew a guy who had to be Pulp Fiction'd. He was at a party and passed out after doing too many downers. Nobody could find a pulse, so one of the party-goers took out their epipen and jabbed him with it. Dude shot right up like nothing happened, and I shit you not the first words out of his mouth were "let's do more drugs!"

    He really was like a walking Regan-era PSA.

    [spoiler]He was a helluva guy, but he had some serious problems and his luck caught up to him eventually.[/spoiler]
    Utianima
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    edited February 2016
    Reiloch said:
    I knew a guy who had to be Pulp Fiction'd. He was at a party and passed out after doing too many downers. Nobody could find a pulse, so one of the party-goers took out their epipen and jabbed him with it. Dude shot right up like nothing happened, and I shit you not the first words out of his mouth were "let's do more drugs!"

    He really was like a walking Regan-era PSA.

    [spoiler]He was a helluva guy, but he had some serious problems and his luck caught up to him eventually.[/spoiler]
    sad... thets what made me stop :( well that and the realization that i would eventually killmyself... not that i'm not trying to kill myself now... just in a more passive way. I remember one time this guy I was doing Somas and vicodins and ambiens with was just so fucked up. I wake up the next day he's gone... and his sister calls me to tell me he was on their porch the next morning having seizures. Wound up in a coma for about a week.

    So.... yeah. Don't do that anymore. ... same spoiler... :(

    Shrooms are fun :)



  • SzanthaxSzanthax San DiegoMember Posts: 1,906 @ - Epic Achaean
    Trey said:
    This is the reason we have *sadshake*
    also... never really understood pulp fiction. 



  • IsmayIsmay Member Posts: 690 ✭✭✭✭✭ - Grand Achaean
    Back when I was in high school I was having some low blood sugar issues, which caused me to pass out on more than one occasion.

    We were having our big, end of the year, chorus concert. The gym was filled with parents and friends, at least 200 people. We were all dressed in our best. I, being one of the tallest females in chorus, had to stand on the top row of the bleachers along with the tallest boys of our class.

    I remember getting about halfway through our performance before I started to feel dizzy. I thought, surely, if I wait it out I'll start feeling better. Nope. My vision went black and I took a woozy header right down the front of our group. Not off the back, straight through the front. I barreled a good 6 or 7 of my class mates right off the bleachers along with me. In front of all 200 of those lovely people who brought cameras and came to see their kids sing.

    As a young teen, I was so mortified that I refused to return to school for a solid week. When I finally went back, I refused to finish out the class that year. Funny thing is, not one person made fun of me for it. Not to my face anyways.

    Looking back on it now, I couldn't blame anyone for laughing about it. Thankfully this was before the time of cell cameras and shameful videos posted in YouTube!
    Give us shop logs!

    Pretty please...
    MagnarUtianima
  • JinsunJinsun TN, USAMember Posts: 2,927 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Sure you didn't lock your knees?
    image
  • AesiAesi Member Posts: 1,222 @ - Epic Achaean
    Most utterly Canadian moment ever today.

    Went to an onsite job out in the boonies (3 hours there, 30 mins of work, 3 hours back) to fix a phone system. Wonderful. Went well.

    On my way back traffic is backed up. I wonder why.

    I get out and a horse drawn sleigh is stuck across the asphalt from trying to cross the road full of firewood.

    So six of us get together and push it across. With two horses pulling.

    Takes about 20 mins.

    Ow I am gonna hurt tomorrow


    SpasElowinUtianima
  • SpasSpas Member Posts: 10
    I work graveyards at times. You'd be amazed what weird aspects of humanity you interact with in the wee hours of the day.

    Lady: Can I use your phone?
    Me: No. We're closed. You have a fully charged cellphone in your hand.
    Lady: Oh. Please?
    Me: Please leave.

    Him: I can't believe you're not selling me X, Y and Z! Let me talk to a manager!
    Me: It's 2am, sir. You're welcome to call back at 9am and speak to the manager on duty at that time.
    Cue 45 minutes of said person serial dialing trying to get someone else. I'm the only one on site apart from 2 security officers laughing at the situation (they don't answer the phone).

    Scam calls at 3am, misdialing drunks, and police searching areas at 2:30am. The police one was fun:

    Bang-bang-bang! "We had a 911 call from here."
    Us: "Really? There's only the 3 of us here, and we didn't call you."
    Them: "Oh... hey dispatch? Do we have the right address? It's correct? Umm..."
    Us: "There's only us, but if it makes your life easier, you can walk a round with security."
    Them: "Sure! Yeah. We'll do that then leave."
    Go-go paperwork.
    BlujixapugUtianima
  • AesiAesi Member Posts: 1,222 @ - Epic Achaean
    Spas said:
    I work graveyards at times. You'd be amazed what weird aspects of humanity you interact with in the wee hours of the day.

    Lady: Can I use your phone?
    Me: No. We're closed. You have a fully charged cellphone in your hand.
    Lady: Oh. Please?
    Me: Please leave.

    Him: I can't believe you're not selling me X, Y and Z! Let me talk to a manager!
    Me: It's 2am, sir. You're welcome to call back at 9am and speak to the manager on duty at that time.
    Cue 45 minutes of said person serial dialing trying to get someone else. I'm the only one on site apart from 2 security officers laughing at the situation (they don't answer the phone).

    Scam calls at 3am, misdialing drunks, and police searching areas at 2:30am. The police one was fun:

    Bang-bang-bang! "We had a 911 call from here."
    Us: "Really? There's only the 3 of us here, and we didn't call you."
    Them: "Oh... hey dispatch? Do we have the right address? It's correct? Umm..."
    Us: "There's only us, but if it makes your life easier, you can walk a round with security."
    Them: "Sure! Yeah. We'll do that then leave."
    Go-go paperwork.
    oh graveyard SHIFTS

    I figured those were all pretty weird encounters at a graveyard
    BlujixapugElowinShirszaeUtianima
  • SpasSpas Member Posts: 10
    Aesi said:
    Spas said:
    I work graveyards at times. You'd be amazed what weird aspects of humanity you interact with in the wee hours of the day.

    Lady: Can I use your phone?
    Me: No. We're closed. You have a fully charged cellphone in your hand.
    Lady: Oh. Please?
    Me: Please leave.

    Him: I can't believe you're not selling me X, Y and Z! Let me talk to a manager!
    Me: It's 2am, sir. You're welcome to call back at 9am and speak to the manager on duty at that time.
    Cue 45 minutes of said person serial dialing trying to get someone else. I'm the only one on site apart from 2 security officers laughing at the situation (they don't answer the phone).

    Scam calls at 3am, misdialing drunks, and police searching areas at 2:30am. The police one was fun:

    Bang-bang-bang! "We had a 911 call from here."
    Us: "Really? There's only the 3 of us here, and we didn't call you."
    Them: "Oh... hey dispatch? Do we have the right address? It's correct? Umm..."
    Us: "There's only us, but if it makes your life easier, you can walk a round with security."
    Them: "Sure! Yeah. We'll do that then leave."
    Go-go paperwork.
    oh graveyard SHIFTS

    I figured those were all pretty weird encounters at a graveyard
    Graveyard shifts, yes. Those stories at a legitimate graveyard, though... that's a sitcom in the making.
  • TreyTrey Member Posts: 4,797 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Guy soup.

    SaevaTrillianaUtianima
  • ElowinElowin Member Posts: 206 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Trey said:
    Guy soup.
    Part of me wants context. Part of me would rather revel in the mystery of it.
    BlujixapugUtianima
  • SaevaSaeva Member Posts: 1,944 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Granpa soup is a legend.


  • MagnarMagnar Member Posts: 35 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Yesterday I decided to put a support chat one of my services on a website. However I named it Live Chat. I was a little bit excited for that and was awaiting for my first client that will enter to live chat. Finally someone entered... He just asked me ASL and If I am horny.
    JinsunUtianimaSirrion
  • CooperCooper Member Posts: 5,297 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    You can't just end a story like that. What did you answer? How did the chat go?

    MatiasUtianimaAziik
  • MagnarMagnar Member Posts: 35 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Cooper said:
    You can't just end a story like that. What did you answer? How did the chat go?
    Let me paste conversation here. Erhan is me and Brown is ... whatever...:

    Brown: how are u
    Erhan: Hello
    Erhan: How can I help you, today? :)
    Erhan: I am good thanks and you?
    Brown: ASL?
    Brown: Are you horny?
    Erhan: I am a male. (I am trying to write "this is a support chat" after this)
    Brown: Doesn't matter.
    Brown: Looking for gay to chat with .
    Brown: May be i can find my dream woman or man here
    Erhan: This is just a support service :)
    Brown: Okay thanks
    Brown: Is mean that i can not chat with any women or men here?
    Erhan: Well, I am sorry but no :)

    Then he disappointed and quit.
    CooperBlujixapugUtianima
  • MatiasMatias Member Posts: 73 ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    Should have gone to Browntown...
    MagnarCooper
  • BluefBluef DelosMember Posts: 2,176 @@ - Legendary Achaean

    Is anyone else amused that apparently the Facebook community is mature enough to have options like these, but...we're not? 
  • AntoniusAntonius Member Posts: 4,926 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    There isn't a "Facebook community", though. While I think the lack of reactions on the forums is a bit ridiculous, the two aren't comparable.
    Utianima
  • MelodieMelodie Port Saint Lucie, FloridaMember Posts: 5,084 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I miss reactions. :(

    That said, I think facebook has a better approach, where 'wtf' is just 'angry', and 'sad' and 'wow' are things. I think if the full range were available on vanilla forums (I feel like missing some reactions were what led to the misuse of others), it'd be pretty handy and nice to have.

    But I'm assuming that's not really going to be adapted by them.
               My wing tips waltz across naive
                     Wood floors they creak
                  Innocently down the stairs

                          Drag melody
    My percussive feet serve cobweb headaches as a
              Matching set of marching clocks
                The slumbering apparitions
              That they've come to wake up
    Mami
  • KayeilKayeil Washington StateMember Posts: 2,824 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I think the difference also is that here people would misuse them to be jerks to each other, and antagonize one another... the vast majority of us are not OOC related, a lot of us have never met, and don't live near each other. Now... if one used reactions like that on their real life friends, family, and colleagues on facebook, well... the consequences are much different in that capacity.
    What doesn't kill you gives you exp.

    Utianima
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