Funny Stories or OOC stuff you just wanna share

JinsunJinsun TN, USA
edited January 2016 in The Universal Membrane
So I had something really funny happen in court today and I wanted to tell all my Achaea buddies about it but I realized we don't really have a thread for just OOC talk. There's the funny stuff you find online thread. But this didn't really apply.

So here's my funny story. Sitting in court, courtroom full of people. Defendant just screamed and cussed at the judge and slammed his fists on the desk the judge told him 10 days for every cuss word. After "fuck you bitch," he was up to fifty days. He goes "Fifty days?! Suck deez nuts!!" Oddly judge didnt give him 10 days for that. So glad that's not my client!


  • I feel kinda like there is a missing component to this story lol.

  • Szanthax said:
    I feel kinda like there is a missing component to this story lol.
    Not really. For some reason the deputies were just antagonizing this guy, which if you saw him you'd agree was a stupid idea. He was super chill up to that point though!

  • Trey said:
    Szanthax said:
    I feel kinda like there is a missing component to this story lol.
    Not really. For some reason the deputies were just antagonizing this guy, which if you saw him you'd agree was a stupid idea. He was super chill up to that point though!
    Sooooo, you were locked up with Bruce Banner.
  • As one of the deputies that handles that shit, I've seen my share of deputies let the badge go to their head, and do shit to intentionally antagonize people. Then I get called to either calm the person down or some other alternative. Usually, I get there, talk to them for a minute,  and they're pissed because a deputy wouldn't do something that they're actually supposed to do. Give respect, get respect. I've never backed down from a good fight, but I certainly never provoke it, and I've chewed some ass for people not doing their job.

    Also, could you explain how contempt of court is justifiable? I mean, I'm cussed at regularly, and I can't just extend people's jail stay. Why is a judge so damn sensitive? Free spech, etc.

  • The judicial discretion part gets me hung up. It just doesn't seem appropriate that a judge can not like what someone says and just put them in jail. I could understand if it's getting to the point that the person won't shut up and the court is being seriously delayed, but if a judge asks, "anything to say?" and you offer them the chance to taste your genitalia, still the same result. No trial, no way out, no questions asked. If I'm on a traffic stop, and someone tells me to fuck off, no matter what evidence I have in establishing probable cause and no matter what evidence I have of them saying the crap, I can't just arrest them. And, frankly, ol' honorable judge puts his damn pants on one leg at a time, too. Contempt just seems to ignore the whole due process thing. And I've seen some judges hand out some disproportionate sentences that seemed directly tied to personal feelings, like excessive time for child support because a guy was sleeping with her daughter for a while (small town, yadda yadda).

    Also, booked a guy into jail, old, looked like he came from the show Duck Dynasty. Straight caveman. Had to photograph tattoos. All of them. Including the devil's head that he tattooed, himself, on the head of his penis. He said it's so he can unleash the beast. smdh

  • KayeilKayeil Washington State
    I don't know, I'd look at it this way... if people behaved themselves we wouldn't need cops and judges. I mean for most people, someone just doesn't come to your work and cusses you out because they feel like being a dick that day. I'd expect a cop to be respectful to others and not treat them poorly, and I think it's really shitty when people treat cops badly. So I'd expect the same in a court... judge is there doing his/her job. Don't want to be there? Don't fuck up. Didn't do anything? Well you're not helping your case by being a jackass. The court should respect you, and you should respect the court.
    What doesn't kill you gives you exp.

  • Well this guy was being an ass and holding up court before he started yelling and cussing.
  • Delay of game.. 5 yard penalty. 

  • Unsportsmanlike conduct... 15 yards.

  • Obvious belligerence is one thing, but only a judge can lock someone up for cussing at them, which just seems so blatantly abuseable. Like a four letter word is worth 10 days of a person's  life. Have him removed, schedule for next available court date. That's a fitting punishment; an arbitrary amount of time in jail for some hurtful words is not.

    Tl:dr: judges OP.

  • edited January 2016
    Jinsun said:
    It has a lot to do with judicial discretion and decorum. I honestly don't want to know what a courtroom would be like if contempt wasn't a threat. I think judicial economy is also a point. Most judges in Memphis has 70-80 cases on the docket a day, hear probably 30-35 trials a year. Ain't nobody got time for some jackass to sit on the stand for half an hour yelling at the judge. We had like ten attorneys waiting in line still and court was closing in half an hour for trial. That kinda shit gets squashed pretty quick. And it makes sense. Send @Sarapis a message saying fuck you suck these nuts (HYPOTHETICALLY PLEASE GOD DONT ACTUALLY DO THAT) and see how fast you get punished. You gotta know who is in control of the situation and if it's not you then you deal with the consequences of popping off like that.
    The difference is that this is my private company, run ultimately for its own sake, whereas judges are representing the people for their benefit, not his/hers. 

    Contempt of court really bugs me as a principle, because it's kind of a descendant of the privilege of nobility, and has no place in this country. I hadn't considered the benefit to judicial economy before though. That makes sense. You definitely would get people, such as myself, who would not behave in court if I didn't feel like I deserved to be there otherwise. The People vs. Larry Flynt movie comes to mind.

  • I've only been in jail for like 12 hours. 

    I knew enough to keep my mouth shut both in jail and in court. 

  • KayeilKayeil Washington State
    What doesn't kill you gives you exp.

  • Szanthax said:
    Unsportsmanlike conduct... 15 yards.

    I can never get youtube links to work.

    @Sarapis I'm a criminal defense attorney, I'm huge on client's rights and such, but this is one of maybe two times that I've seen contempt, and the dude -was- being belligerent. To be honest, it makes your attorney's job 10X harder. 
  • Ooh you're a lawyer in TN?  I know who I'm calling if I ever get in legal trouble!
  • If you do your public defender time the government forgives your loans in luge had the time...I <3 pubic defenders

  • Haha it's like 15 years for a PD. Though I'd totally be a PD.
  • The guy that helped me with my fasfa stuff was in law school... he was like i wish i borrowed more because theres no way they going to be able to get 10% of what he owes in 15 years.

  • Oh yeah, I owe a butt-ass ton of money.
  • AustereAustere Tennessee
    Citrus said:
    Ooh you're a lawyer in TN?  I know who I'm calling if I ever get in legal trouble!
    @Citrus is a Tennessean too? Goodness, so many of us. 
  • One of Us One of US.
  • Austere said:
    Citrus said:
    Ooh you're a lawyer in TN?  I know who I'm calling if I ever get in legal trouble!
    @Citrus is a Tennessean too? Goodness, so many of us. 
      Achaea has a pretty large Tennessean population, I know about six others that don't play much anymore except for one or two of them.
  • Haha, that's a great story!
  • Magnar said:
    Well, let me add another story. May be you find this funny or take it as a great mistake. I don't know, whatever you like... It's the story from times that I just started to mud games. It was in Imperian. I have also shared this incident in Imperian too as confession after years later.

    Well, when I started to mud games, I had really bad English. (even worse than current one. hehe) I was even open dictionary for understand room descriptions. Some time later I learned there is marriage in the game. I start to flirt with a female character in the game. I believe she liked my character too. All I want was creating family! Nothing else. One day we were in a room and we were alone. I wanted to say something nice to her. We used to call women who we love with a cute animal names in Turkey. Bird, cat, pigeon, etc. Heh. I just wanted to say to her "you look like a cat". Somehow I thought there "cat" looks awkward there. I opened my dictionary and looked other meanings of the cat. There were "cat, pussy, feline, kitty". I just remember that pussy was the second line in dictionary. I thought it's the word which I was looking for... and I just said her "you look like a pussy". She slapped me first and then snubbed me. It take almost a year in RL to understand what's going on with her.
    That story was awesome! I had to explain to my friends why I was cackling 
  • Mine involve drugs... :(

  • Aktillum said:
    Szanthax said:
    Mine involve drugs... :(
    Haha mine too! This one time, my boss asked me to take his wife out and show her a good time, since he'd be out of town. I guess there were trust issues in his marriage, and he saw me as a dependable guy that wouldn't, y'know, eat the forbidden fruit if you catch my drift.

    I thought it was a really weird request and it was made worse by the fact that my boss had a reputation for being ultra-protective of his wife. There was a rumor going around that he'd thrown a guy off a balcony for giving his wife a foot massage. Now, a foot massage ain't really an innocent thing, but throwing a guy off a balcony is kind of an overreaction I think. It's debatable I guess.

    So anyway, I take his wife out, we have a good time, and we go back to her house. So I excuse myself to the bathroom, in the middle of a moral dilemma over whether or not I should give my boss's wife the ol' 3-legged piledriver, and somehow she discovers my drug stash in my coat pocket. So she snorts a massive rail and ends up overdosing, I come out of the bathroom and see her twitching on the couch, I panick cause holy shit, if my boss's wife dies on my watch, its my head on the chopping block y'know?

    So I end up calling my drug dealer at like 1am, he's all pissed because I'm talking about drugs and women overdosing over the phone and he's a conspiracy nut, but I'm like fuck this this is an emergency. So I load my boss's wife in my car, haul ass over to my drug dealer's house, he's yelling at me like "what the fuck are you doing bringing her here?" while I'm carrying her drug-addled ass into his house.

    We ended up jamming a big ass needle full of adrenaline straight into her heart, and she comes back from the almost-dead, like some kind of heroin addicted Jesus Christ.

    Laughs were had all around after that, good times for everyone. True story btw.
    Ha..thats a little hardcore. 

    p.s. i don't do this stuff anymore

    My stories are shroom stories

    So me and my friend are in amsterdam and we're just getting fucked up the whole time. Eating shrooms, smoking weed. We were there for the cannibas cup. 

    So we go to the Zoo and it was awesome but we were shrooming and of course had a little plastic bong in our backpack. 

    So we are trying to take pictures of us like smoking in public loooking like typical stupid americans smoking in public but without getting caught and getting thrown out the zoo. No biggy.

    Eventually we start actually looking at the animals. Cool! Look at the cats... look at the lions... look at these tigers. Neat. So i'm standing there looking at the tigers and my friend she was standing next to me and we're kind blankly zoning out on these tigers.

    I notice movement out of me left eye and I turn my head and see my friend standing like 3 exhibits down. I'm like woa! When did she get down there? So theres a like an obsticale up against the railing that for whatever reason I had to step over in order to get to my friend so I just step over, using the railing to balance and walk over to my friend.

    It wasn't until I got to my friend that she was like wtf did you just do that for? I ask what are you talking about? she points and I turn and look and see woman in a wheelchair pushed right up against the railing with her dauther behind her guiding her both staring at me.

    Of course in our drug induced state we can't help but start laughing so hard we cry. We run off to another part of the zoo (which in reality was probably like 15 seconds away within sight), and start to examine the plaque on a scupture in the zoo pretending to be amazed at it while laughing about what an ass I was to literally step over a wheelchair to get to my friend. It was while we were reading this plaque that we both realized that the plaque was in dutch... neither of us can read dutch... so of course we start laughing more.

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