Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
- 6.2K All Categories
- 3.1K Everything Achaea
- 1.5K North of Thera
- 26 Archives of the Terraformer
- 257 The Matsuhama Arena
- 885 The Golden Dais of Creation
- 299 The Scarlattan Theatre
- 149 The Blank Canvas
- 2K Getting Help
- 412 General Questions
- 258 Quick Class Questions
- 1.3K Tech Support
- 313 Client Help
- 486 Curing Systems and Scripts
- 841 Off-Topic
- 255 The Wander Inn
- 586 The Universal Membrane
- 298 Class Discussions
- 298 Individual Class Sections
- 20 Alchemist
- 9 Apostate
- 30 Blademaster
- 9 Depthswalker
- 14 Druid
- 4 Infernal
- 20 Jester
- 19 Magi
- 34 Monk
- 11 Occultist
- 8 Paladin
- 7 Priest
- 29 Runewarden
- 18 Sentinel
- 26 Serpent
- 20 Shaman
- 9 Sylvan
Comments
lol'd so hard
So overwhelming to be so tiny in a universe so incomprehensibly massive.
One of my all time favorite photos:
Also relates and makes me feel happy:
Mod edit: No, inappropriate.
also this
[ SnB PvP Guide | Link ]
[ SnB PvP Guide | Link ]
The epitome of my teenage years.
I need to drag my sorry ass back into the gym more, holiday season makes me lazy as hell.
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE LEG DAY
Every Bro down in Broville liked lifting a lot. . .
But the Grinch, who lived just north of Broville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated lifting! He hated the Brahs!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the cause.
It could be his head was screwed on much too spinny.
It could be, perhaps, his jeans were too skinny.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his glutes were two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his glutes or his jeans,
He stood there ere Leg Day, all grumpy and green,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
As they lifted things up and then put them down.
For he knew all the Bros down in Broville below,
Were busy now, doing their curls and their rows.
"Now they're racking their plates!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Leg Day! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Leg Day from coming!"
For tomorrow, he knew, the Bro girls and Bro mates,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their weights!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Bros, young and old, would get low and do squats.
And they'd squat! And they'd squat! And they'd squat! SQUAT! SQUAT! SQUAT!
They would squat really heavy, while others would spot.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand, not a jot!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Bro down in Broville, the tall and the small,
Would load plate after plate, which made the Grinch miffed.
They'd grip the bars tight. And the Bros would deadlift!
They'd lift! And they'd lift! And they'd lift! LIFT! LIFT! LIFT!
And the more the Grinch thought of the gains Leg Days bring,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Leg Day from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed with a cheer.
And he made a quick eye patch and fashioned a spear.
He cut the sleeves off from his most skin-tight sweater.
To show off his arms (for worse or for better).
And he got a fake beard, "I can't resist gloatin'!"
"With this beard and this outfit, I look just like Brodin!"
He got a sled with some bags and then started down.
Toward the homes where the Bros lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Bros were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the Grinchy Bro hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. It was just a cinch.
Brodin's chest could not fit, but this was the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
There the heavy Bro dumbbells all lay in a row.
"These dumbbells," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile and a wrench,
He dismantled the cables, he took every bench!
He took the Bros' weight belts! And curl racks and straps!
And curl bars! And straight bars! And bars for their traps!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the pantry. He took the whey powder!
He took the lean chicken! He couldn't be prouder!
He cleaned out their creatine more quickly than sooner.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of tuna!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney in sacks.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the racks!"
He broke down a rack, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a young Bro!
Little Cindy-Lou Bro, who was swole head-to-toe.
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Bro daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for some whey with cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Brodin, Bro why?”
"Why are you taking our squatting rack? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my swole little tot," the fake Brodin lied,
"There's a hook on this rack that's a little too wide."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her some whey and he sent her to bed.
And when CindyLou Bro went to bed with her drink,
He stuffed the rack up just as fast as you'd blink!
Then the last thing he took was the blender ball shaker!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old faker.
On the floor he left nothing, that green trouble maker.
And the one little weight that he left in the house,
Was a kettlebell that was too small for a mouse.
Then he did the same thing to the other Bros' houses
Leaving weights much too small for the other Bros' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Bros, still a-bed,
All the Bros, still a-snooze when he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with the chalk balls! The earbuds! Hand wrappings!
The gym bags! The sweat shirts! The gym shorts! Wrist strappings!
With this load he went up the side of Mt. Crossfit,
He hiked this injurious mountain to toss it!
"PoohPooh to the Bros!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Leg Day is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Bros down in Broville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! He heard no complaining!
It sounded like lifting, the Bros were still gaining!
He stared down at Broville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
They did heavy squats with Bros on both shoulders!
They did their sick deadlifts with logs and loose boulders!
He HADN'T stopped Leg Day from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out dumbbells! It came without plates!"
"It came without cables or vests with lead weights!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Leg Day," he thought, "doesn't need all this 'quipment."
"Maybe Leg Day...is not from an Amazon shipment."
And what happened then? After pulling that sleigh,
The Grinch's small glutes grew THREE sizes that day!
And the minute his legs didn't feel quite so slender,
He whizzed with his load like a veg smoothie blender,
He brought back the sacks of the stuff that he'd grifted,
And he said to them, "Bros, have you even lifted?"
I'll list a few, but not the summary about them.
4. The inside of your mouth is made of the same type of skin cells as the inside of a vagina.
11. Vending machines kill more people every year than sharks do.
15. Betty White is older than sliced bread.
18. Up to 50% of the DNA in our gastrointestinal tract is not identifiable as a form of known life.