Sapience Today

Arador

Issue 16!

Arador

Issue 17!

!

Synbios

@Arador: That's terrible, man. So do you have another Divinity taking over his column? I heard that Astrology's the craze among the girls today.

Arador

I wanted to do an Astrology column but sadly the Alchemists threatened to sue. Lord Phaestus sent in a few articles but they were too short and our focus groups said all the references to hot steel were a bit too erotic.

Synbios

Who cares about 'too erotic'? The sensible truth should never get in the way of massive sensational advice columns!

Vasool

You don't need to hear it from me, you already know. But these are extremely entertaining!

Jurixe

@Arador, please make another issue. I promise I'll stand still in the arena next time we 'duel' if you do!

Arador

@Jurixe, that is an attractive offer.

I have been building up article ideas again, once I have 6 or so, I can make another issue.

Xenomorph

Hahaha, love it, Arador. Sign me up for a 3 year subscription!

Those cops had NO WARRANT when they took me brooms!

Boosteya

@Arador Reading these really cheered me up, thanks

Vasool

@Arador I just had some random ideas for divine related captions. Not sure if they are too funny, maybe just to me.

Robed Alchemist says: Mad God not 'Mad', just misdiagnosed bi-polar.

"Once I raised Bal'met, and reabsorbed Apollyon, I just felt... happy." -Sartan, the Benevolent

Bal'met denied passport. Country of origin doesn't exist, authorities say.

Bal'came, Bal'met, Bal'left

Sartan remembers The Messenger owed him 10 credits- Malevolent once again

Neraeos issed for QQ'ing during Bal'met event, admin rulings are ambiguous.

Caspiite cultist makes appearance in Mhaldor, webcams go on sale.

Sartan returns, Valnurana in protective custody.

Indrani to Keresis: I told you it wouldn't last!

Mhaldor praises Pentharian with commemorative statue: You brought back Sartan! You're the best!

Forum thread responsible for the death of 4 divine. Authorities are baffled.

Ashaxeii's diary found: Han-Tol'neth touched my embers once...

Dragons now rare: Dragonskin quivers double in price.

Synbios

Vasool said:

Forum thread responsible for the death of 4 divine. Authorities are baffled.

Prescient Templar denies involvement - "It was all a coincidence!"

Arador

Brilliant! I love it. Will have to steal a few for the new issue.

Synbios

Tempted to make Shallam-related headlines, but I will be stepping on too many toes if I go on ahead with that.

Synbios

Ormyrr Guard - Speech Problem or Extraterrestrial Problem?

"Pranks/Evileye on Blademasters? It'll never catch on" -Ember Skeptics

Rumors of monopoly spread: Crystalline Circle House Lord admits buying majority shares in ember market.

Complaints on alien incursions: "I have had it with these motherloving ormyrr on this motherloving planet!"

Embers provide knowledge of Forging: Moghedu resorts to rationing of steel in these trying times. 

Mhaldorian kicks ormyrr guard stack, now a virtual city pariah "They don't forgive, they don't forget, they don't set to passive at all!"

Slaves protest against ormyrr: Tyrannus assures jobs as bootlickers will not be outsourced.

Tahquil

Tut tut Synbios, think of the children! ....Mingruk flinging ormyrr on this Mayan to Phaestian planet please.

Arador

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Aliens come to Sapience and no one has been Anal Probed yet. Except those dead gods....the humanity! Has Bal'met never heard of lube?

I will have you know that I have a very manly fan-girl scream

The Editor

Arador

Synbios

I lost it at "Shallam now fighting Gangnam Style"

Arador

A Shallamese raiding party on their way to retaliate against Ashtan for pitting them all and killing their mounts......

Synbios

@Arador:

Halos: We're here to liberate you from ignorance and protect Creation as its guardians.

Tanris: Well, I didn't vote for you!

Arador

@Synbios, small twist...

Tanris: Let ME show you the violence inherent in the system.
Halos: CALL FOR HELP! I'm being Empressed!

Synbios

@Arador: Classic verbal spar maneuvre:

Maldaathi Insult 424165: I don't want to talk to you no more, you weak-bodied Shallamese fool. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a bandersnatch and your father smelt of bayberries. 

-------------

Sir Achilles: [Sir Synbios the Chaste is being seduced by an entire castle full of young women] We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. 
Sir Synbios: I don't think I was. 
Sir Achilles: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril. 
Sir Synbios: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. 
Sir Achilles: No, it's too perilous. 
Sir Synbios: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. 
Sir Achilles: No, we've got to find the Sword of Dunamis. Come on. 
Sir Synbios: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril? 
Sir Achilles: No. It's unhealthy. 
Sir Synbios: I bet you're Silas. 
Sir Achilles: Am not. 

Tahquil

Yay Cameo!.... Not yay because it's probably true

Synbios

@Arador: Spoiler - Shallam will cause the end of Creation as we see it.

[spoiler]

[/spoiler]

Xith

"December 21th."

Synbios

Xith said:

"December 21th."

Shallam was only the beginning.

Arador

In an unrelated note, I am now selling 3 year subscriptions to the Magazine for the cost of only 1 year. Send me your $200 now!

All subscriptions will be cancelled on the 22nd of December

Katzchen

@Arador, hire @Trey to do your marketing for those subscriptions. He can apparently make anything sound desirable.

Also Vivisex calendar? Where's my copy?

Erasariel

Came here thinking there was a new issue.

My heart, it is broken.

Arador

So yes, I am Necroing. Seems kind of pointless to start a new thread for this.



Back from retirement
The Editor
Arador