The Monastery's Secret Life

Ohm

Orzaansyn says, "It is always great, an old man. They arrive, it's super mysterious."

Ruth gives a skeptical look.

Ruth says, "Old is mysterious ? Are you kidding me ? You, whenever you tell about an old man : he arrives, he says nothing."

Orzaansyn says, "Precisely. He says nothing, we do not know anything he thinks. It is mysterious."

This has slain me with laughter.

"It is mysterious."

Orzaansyn

Episode VI

---

Mhaldor council room. @Ruth is talking, then stops as she watches Orzaansyn.

Ruth says, "Do I bother you?"

Orzaansyn says, "Oh no."

Ruth says, "It seems that today you were on the brink of a major clue to a victory against Targossas?"

Orzaansyn smiles proudly.

Orzaansyn says, "Yes, it's true!"

Ruth says, "And it also seems that you have messed up everything, and we can not do anything about it ... "

Orzaansyn says, "Yes. Yes, it's true..."

Ruth says, "You want to talk a little about it ?"

Orzaansyn narrows her eyes and opens her mouth in a silent "oh".

Ruth laces her hands contemplatively.

Orzaansyn says, "I want to do a lot of good things, but there must be a minimum." 

@Nocroth raises an eyebrow questioningly.

Orzaansyn says, "The old man said, "You shall walk twenty rooms north to reach the Shrine of Perdition.""

@Jurixe says, "It seems clear to me..."

Orzaansyn says, "No, but because here, I say it my way. The old man has put everything in the wrong order. Exactly, he told me "Blahblahblah Shrine of Perdition shalt reach, twenty rooms to the north, thou shalt walk.""

@Carmain says, "I'm sorry, but it does not change so much the sense."

Orzaansyn says, "This is what I am telling you. It has changed me all the way to go."

Ruth says, "No, but ... It does not change the meaning of the sentence."

Orzaansyn says, "He made the phrase, but it was not in a good way. Where should I go then?"

Ruth looks annoyed.

Ruth says, "Well, listen. The only thing I see is that you again managed to miss a great opportunity to get an advantage in our war."

Orzaansyn says, "Oh yes. But after that, I lost that old man, and I ..."

Ruth says angrily, "No, listen! Shut up! You are a lame. So get out of here, I do not want to see you any longer."

Orzaansyn leaves, a saddened look on her face.

Orzaansyn

Episode VII

---

Orzaansyn just left, the Council is still gathered in the Coucil Chamber.

@Ruth says, "What?"

Noone anwsers.

Ruth says again, "What ?"

@Xer says, "Nothing... I said nothing."

Ruth says, "I can take it anymore ... I am sorry, it is physical now. I'd rather like she leaves because I would punch her."

@Katzchen says, "After all, you manage her as you can, for sure. You are not patient, but that's fine."

Ruth says, "A major clue to a victory against Targossas! If this moron knew how to find the north, tonight we would maybe be walking on Targossas' ashes."

@Jurixe says, "Sure. I am certain she has learned her lesson. Even if I doubt she's sleeping ... So sad she must be to have disappointed you again..."

Ruth says, "Yes, good. Very good. Where do you want to tell me, all?"

@Carmain says, "Orzaansyn is like a kid. And what is the biggest fear of kids ?"

Ruth ponders the situation.

Ruth says, "I do not know ... The leviathan ... Worm and Grub food ..."

Carmain says, "Being forsaken. And to avoid being forsaken, they have to precisely be what their parents say they are."

Ruth raises an eyebrow.

@Jurixe says, "You do not stop to tell her that she is lame. If she wants that you continue to recognize her, she feels forced to be. Somehow, it reassures her."

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Ruth says, "It reassures her to be lame?"

Carmain says, "As long as you tell her she is, yes."

Ruth says, "Are you all kidding me? I am probably dreaming. I have to do with the worst stupid girl Mhaldor ever seen, but it is my fault, I should not have told her ..."

Orzaansyn

Episode VIII

---

Later, @Ruth and Orzaansyn are talking together.

Orzaansyn says, "I always said it. We should stop with those things like north and south. Once and for all: north, depending on where you are, it changes everything. Anyway, that old man, if I see him again, I kill him."

Ruth laces her hands contemplatively.

Ruth says, "Well, but it was already something. Because you found a clue ..." 

Orzaansyn is surprised.

Orzaansyn says, "What did you just say?"

Ruth says, "It was not, uh ... Well, it has not been successful, but you had a clue." 

Orzaansyn says, "But... I still messed up everything..." 

Ruth says, "Nah... Because.... You fell on a very ... unprecise person ..."

Ruth closes her eyes, trying to focus, then opens them again.

Ruth says, " ... Who used fluctuating concepts ..."

Ruth rubs her chin toughfully.

Ruth says, "... Such as the cardinal points ..."

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Orzaansyn says, "Which Cardinal? Daemonic Emeritus Kelandra?"

Ruth says, "No, no. North, south ..."

Orzaansyn says, "Ah, but does it comes from there, the title? The Blood Congregation Cardinals?" 

Ruth sighs, visibly trying her best to remain calm.

Ruth says, "Well, in short... You are a great Mhaldorian."

Orzaansyn falls off her chair, unconscious. Ruth looks down without moving, slightly confused. 

Ruth says to the uncounscious Orzaansyn, "Don't worry, you are very lame."

Orzaansyn opens her eyes again. 

Ruth says, "Are you better?"

Orzaansyn says, "I do not know what happened ... I saw all white, after that, all black, and after that all white twice ..."

Ruth nods carefully.

Ruth says, "Breathe, you'll be fine."

Orzaansyn

Episode IX

---

Orzaansyn and @Kresslack are in front of the Mhaldor Council door when @Arador comes out. 

Kresslack says, "It's over for you?"

Orzaansyn says, "It went well, they are happy?"

Arador says, "Well, I had not much this year ... I have put 3 forests into fire, but ... "

Orzaansyn says, "The Council said it is not that good?"

Arador says, "Well let's say I used them to do better ..."

Orzaansyn says, "I see."

Kresslack says, "We'll be okay then, we used them to do nothing."

Later, Orzaansyn and Kresslack tell their adventure to the Council.

@Harmonia says, "I may write it like this in the archives: "Embarked on a frail ship, Orzaansyn and Kresslack killed the giant Sea Snake, and returned victorious to celebrate in the village."

Both Ebon Fist adventurers look at the Council, smiling.

@Ruth says, "It's okay with you, right?"

Kresslack says, "Oh, it's not bad!"

Orzaansyn says, "The only thing is that we were not embarked on a frail ship."

@Jurixe says, "Oh. And what were you embarked on, then?"

Orzaansyn says, "On nothing, we stayed on the edge, Kresslack just had to remove his boots."

Kresslack says, "We had water up to our knees, almost."

@Nocroth says, "But ... It was a giant snake which was attacking, right?"

Orzaansyn says, "Yes."

@Carmain, mimicking, says, "In one foot of water?"

Kresslack says, "Approximately yes."

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Ruth says, "How giant was it, this giant snake?"

Orzaansyn says, "Oh, at first glance, it was this big ..."

Orzaansyn mimics about two feet.

Kresslack mimics a little less.

Orzaansyn

EPISODE X

---

Orzaansyn is sitting near the river. She holds a fishing pole in both hand, her line is in the water. @Oren arrives.

Oren says, "Greetings, Mother. I did not know you fish."

Orzaansyn says, "Oh no. I do not fish."

Oren asks, confused, "You do not fish?"

Orzaansyn says, "Oh no. I really dislike fishing."

Oren gives a skeptical look.

Comprehension flashes across Orzaansyn's face.

Orzaansyn says, "It is because of the pole, right?"

Oren says, "Well ... Yes ... Seeing you made me think about fishing ..."

Orzaansyn says, "Oh. Tt is just a pole and a line. There is a small rock at the end of the line to stretch the line."

Oren says, "Because it is important that the line is streched?"

Orzaansyn says, "Of course, daughter. Or it would not have any sense."

Later, Oren left, and @Milenka arrived.

Orzaansyn says, "I do not know how to explain it to you. It relaxes me."

Milenka says, "I do not have any particular issues with it."

Orzaansyn says, "There are people who get drunk, others who fight in the Arena. I do that. It harms noone."

Milenka says says, "Yes. Not even fishes."

Orzaansyn says, "At times I think about them."

Milenka asks, "Fishes?"

Orzaansyn says, "Yes. I wonder if they are destibilized with all of it."

Milenka gives a skeptical look.

Milenka says, "Fishes? Destabilized?"

Orzaansyn says, "I do not know. Maybe they are mad at me. They are maybe thinking that a girl who baits them with pebbles thinks they are totally dumb."

Milenka pauses for a second.

Milenka says, "Or they think you do not understand anything at fishing, and that you are totally dumb."

Milenka left, and @Ruth is now near Orzaansyn, still pretending to fish.

Orzaansyn says, "In fact, it is a little to act like you do."

Ruth, surprised, asks, "To act like I do?"

Orzaansyn says, "Yes. Everyone knows that you like fishing, alone on your ship. I believe it is during those moments that you think about Evil and everything. It makes you understand things. I thought that if it is this way that you understand things, I should try. Am I wrong?"

Ruth says, "No... It is more or less the case. It is not formal, either. But what are you trying to understand, precisely? Evil?"

Orzaansyn says, "Yes, Evil, for exemple. Or Mhaldorian life. Or anything. I most of the time do not understand anything, I do not lack topics."

Ruth says, "You know, Evil, or Mhaldorian life, I do not always understand everything in details either. So that's true, I at times fish to put thoughts in order, to see the best way to act, to take the best decisions for the City and the Lord."

Orzaansyn says, "The pole helps me. I visualize the pebble in the water. It is as if I am part of a whole. The pebble, the line, the pole, the river, the sky, me. It is complete. It is well finished. That is why I think I can understand things here. This is stupid, no?"

Ruth says, "Not at all."

Later again, Ruth left, and Carmain is now here.

Carmain says, "The fishes most likely think you are stupid. But they are quite stupid themselves, so..."

Orzaansyn says, "It does not count, then?"

Carmain says, "No, it does not count."

Orzaansyn says, "I understand what is the purpose of the pole, you know."

Carmain says, "You do?"

Orzaansyn says, "In fact it has no purpose."

Carmain nods his head carefully.

Orzaansyn says, "Therefore it places us before our own purpose. Mortal, faced by absurdity."

Tohran

Personally, I'm amused by how Carmain is Jesus.

Orzaansyn

EPISODE XI
Part I

Orzaansyn is at Stygian, when @Xer arrives.

Xer says, "Anything wrong, Orzaansyn?"

Orzaansyn says, "@Hasar told me something earlier... Since then it turns it my mind..."

Xer says, "What did he say?"

Orzaansyn says, "It comes from this suggestion that I should be an Aide to the Ministry of War..."

Xer says, "And so?"

Orzaansyn says, "Hasar got angry, and said that as an Aide, he prefers a three legged old cow, that it would be more helpful"

Xer says, "Ah... And you took it personnaly."

Orzaansyn says, "He did not mean to be unkind, I know... But sometimes one have a some pride."

Xer says, "In my opinon, you are too often victim of quips."

Orzaansyn says, "Of who?"

Xer says, "Quips. Too many people in Mhaldor forget that you are a true Sartai."

Orzaansyn says, "Oh?"

Xer says, "You should seek the Tyrannus and tlle her you should be considered as one."

Orzaansyn gives an unsure look.

Orzaansyn says, "I will do that."

Orzaansyn

EPISODE XI
Part II

Later, Orzaansyn is with @Ruth... Orzaansyn takes a deep breath, before starting.

Orzaansyn says, "You know, Mother, I would like that people consider me as one."

Ruth ponders Orzaansyn.

Ruth says, "To consider you as?"

Orzaansyn says, "Well... To consider me as one."

Ruth says, "As one what?"

Orzaansyn says, "As one... Because I find I am far too often victim of quirks, and it is probably not normal."

Ruth says, "Victim of?"

Ruth massages her temples

Ruth says, "I do not understand anything of what you are saying... Sorry... Please restart, I'm listening."

Orzaansyn says, "I was simply saying that I am often victim of quirks, and that people should consider me as one."

Ruth shakes her head, as Orzaansyn gives a somewhat disappointed look.

Orzaansyn says, "It is not clear, right?"

Ruth says, "No. But I see that you are trying to tell me something. It is yours, this sentence, or you heard it somewhere? "Quirks", for exemple, what is it for you?"

Orzaansyn says, "It is hard to explain... "Quirks", it is someone who..."

Ruth says, "No. It is not this."

Orzaansyn says, "Someone who talks badly of someone else."

Ruth says, "No, listen, no. It is not this at all."

Orzaansyn says, "How do you say it, then?"

Ruth says, "How do I say what? I am clearly losing patience."

Orzaansyn says, "Someone who says bad things about someone and which starts with "Qui"."

Ruth says, "No. My advice is that you should stop to say things. It tires you, firstly. And for others, you cannot imagine how it is. When you do that, it gives me such an anxiety... I think I could kill you out of grief. Please, stop."

Orzaansyn looks at Ruth, surprised, but remain silent.

Caoimhaen

@Orzaansyn‌ that made my brain hurt. Haha! But that was weirdly enough genius, yet not at the same time....you made my brain short circuit. Lol Love your work as usual.

Orzaansyn

Episode XI
Final part

Later...

Orzaansyn says, "It is maybe a squid."

Ruth says, "What is maybe a squid?"

Orzaansyn says, "Someone who talk badly about someone else."

Ruth says, "A squid is a cephalopod, and..."

Ruth squints suspiciously at Orzaansyn.

Ruth says, "A squid is a kind of fish."

Orzaansyn says, "Maybe it is an idiom based on fishes? Like when you say that a girl is a salmon when she wastes her money."

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Ruth says, "Noone says that."

Orzaansyn says, "You never heard "This girl, she's such a salmon!"?"

Ruth says, "I never heard that."

Orzaansyn says, "Or someone who is too big, like "a big turtle in small pond". But in this case, it is not a fish."

Ruth says, "It is a fish."

Orzaansyn says, "What? A turtle is a fish?"

Ruth says, "No. The idiom is: "a big fish in a small pond"."

Orzaansyn gives a triumphal look.

Orzaansyn says, "Ah! I was right, then!"

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Orzaansyn says, "So, to summarize, I am often victim of squids, implying big fishes in small ponds, and I would like to be considered as one."

Ruth pauses a second, and ponders Orzaansyn.

Ruth says, "Okay... I will see what I can do about it..."

Kresslack

Tune into the next episode, where @Orzaansyn grows tentacles.

Orzaansyn

EPISODE XII
PART 1

In Mhaldor, @Ruth is talking with @Florentino.

Florentino says, "Don't worry, Tyrannus. There is no reason it goes bad."

Ruth says, "It is awkward, though. To negociate a peace treaty alone, like this."

Florentino says, "It is better, you're the Tyrannus. Face to face with that Targossian."

Ruth says, "While eating? It seems a little neglected, for a negociation."

Florentino says, "You seen him. He seems to like food, he will be in good mood."

Ruth says, "So, the Interpreter arrived?"

Florentino says, "No but... Errr... There is no Interpreter this time."

Ruth says, "No Interpreter? Are you kidding? You maybe believe I am fluent in Targossian?"

Florentino says, "Well, according to spies, he spent some lessons to speak Mhaldorian. He is quite good, I heard."

Ruth laces her fingers contemplatively.

Ruth says, "The Targossian emissary speaks Mhaldorian?"

Florentino ponders the situation.

Florentino says, "He spent some lessons."

Ruth nods her head carfully.

Ruth says, "Well. It sounds like an already won peace treaty..."

Florentino says, "It will give you an occasion to flatter him. You congratulate him about his progress, but you use a simple vocabulary..."

Ruth says, "Get your troops out of Mhaldorian areas or I burn your City. Is it simple enough?"

Orzaansyn

EPISODE XII
PART II

In a room, @Ruth is eating with @Aodfionn. He is pondering his spoon for a long moment.

Aodfionn says, "Spoon!"

Ruth says, "Very good."

Aodfionn shows his spoon.

Aodfionn says, "Very good!"

Ruth shows the spoon.

Ruth says, "Spoon... This is a spoon."

Aodfionn imitates Ruth.

Aodfionn says, "Spoon!"

Ruth sighs.

Ruth says, "Don't worry, It's fine."

Aodfionn laughs.

Aodfionn says, "It's fine! Spoon!"

Ruth nods her head carefully.

Ruth says, "So... About the peace threaty..."

Aodfionn looks at Ruth and gives her some chicken.

Ruth says, "Ok, we'll ask for an Interpreter."

Aodfionn gets angry.

Aodfionn says, "RUTH!!!"

Ruth says, "What?"

Aodfionn says, "RUTH!!!! RRRUUUUTHHH!!!"

Ruth raises an eyebrow questionnigly.

Ruth says, "Yes. What?"

Aodfionn gets very calm again.

Aodfionn says, "Spoon."

Ruth sighs deeply.

Ruth yells, "INTERPRETER!"

Aodfionn yells, "INTERPRETER! SPOON!!!!"

Ruth rolls her eyes.

Aodfionn says, "Ruth! Where is @Sartan? Sartan is in the kitchen?"

Ruth massages her temples.

Adet

Orzaansyn said:

Aodfionn says, "Ruth! Where is @Sartan? Sartan is in the kitchen?"

Sartan est in horto. Sartan in horto sedet.  servus est in atrio.  servus in atrio laborat.

Shunsui

I won't be able to look at Aodfionn without bursting out laughing now, that was effing hilarious

Aodfionn

I can't tell you how hard I wish I could make "Sartan is in the kitchen?" my motto now. Well done, Orz.  

Orzaansyn

@Aodfionn‌

This was part 2. I am not done with you yet.  

Caoimhaen

Now I want to run up  to @Aodfionn in game and be like... "SPOON!! AODFIONN!!SPOON!!"

Tharvis

Caoimhaen said:

Now I want to run up  to @Aodfionn in game and be like... "SPOON!! AODFIONN!!SPOON!!"

@Caoimhaen I will give you a credit if you do that

Caoimhaen

@Thavis You are so on. 

Aodfionn

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

Tibitha

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

Aodfionn

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

Trey

Now I might be an awful human being but with Aodfionn being like nine feet tall (still ridiculous but w/e) and Tibitha presumably being normal sized and an avid fanfic writer, all I can picture are intimate interludes resembling Betty Ross hooking up with a Hulked-out Bruce Banner.



Betty White was right, man

Kresslack

Orzaansyn said:

I am not done with you yet.  

Inappropriate.

Tibitha

Aodfionn said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

Okay fine  

Tharvis

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

Okay fine  

write something @Tibitha! The world needs your fanfic

Tibitha

Tharvis said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

Okay fine  

write something @Tibitha! The world needs your fanfic

There's a short excerpt in the (very appropriately) Achaean Regrets thread.   

Tharvis

Tibitha said:

Tharvis said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

Tibitha said:

Aodfionn said:

If you want to talk about Caoimhaen spooning Aodfionn, you'll need to talk to Tibitha. 

You summoned me?  

GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER

Okay fine  

write something @Tibitha! The world needs your fanfic

There's a short excerpt in the (very appropriately) Achaean Regrets thread.   

not enough spoons