A Fond Farewell

Elowin

Elowin saying goodbye to her fiancée and breaking the engagement.

http://pastebin.com/b5P62kka

Beya

Wow. How hard was it to type through tears?

This worked on many levels. Here is a list of why it worked;

Mingle of mechanics with emotes.

1. Elowin holds the snake by neck of it, effectively preventing it from striking her. "It's hidious," she comments, dropping it onto the table.     
2.     Elowin drops a small grey-brown rattlesnake.

Your characters dropped items (snakes, collars) and explained them via emotes, giving the other player the opportunity to interact with them realistically while not breaking narrative.

Sensible description of class changes.

1. You say in a soft voice, "I renounced the teachings of the Monk and embraced those of the Serpent. And...when I got in the right mindset, the fangs started growing. It was probably similar to you changing to Blademaster from Paladin."

This is excellent to merge two or more topics into the one. The main topic is Elowin leaving, but it uses subtle background information to add flavour to the surrounding world. Most importantly, it shows understanding of the subject and does not require any additional theories to support it.

In-character emotions and comments which were well-thought out.

1. Elowin holds the snake by neck of it, effectively preventing it from striking her. "It's hidious," she comments, dropping it onto the table.

This is interesting, because it prevented the emotions and conversation from being linear. Elowin shows her disgust for the snake and serpent abilities which contrast nicely with the current theme of departure, love and longing.

Passive description of your surroundings.

1. Elowin gazes off into the summery air of Cyrene, bouncing her leg idly as you sleeps, draped over the table like a drunkard.

I really enjoy when roleplay takes note of the surroundings. This casual hand-wave to the temperature, weather and idea of Cyrene really added something to this script. I would warn against describing how another player acts, but in a script this good it hardly matters, and it's minor enough to have no effect.

A huge thanks for sharing, Elowin. What a great post.

Nellaundra

Nell -was- draped over the table like a drunkard.  I kinda cut it by accident, but, she passed out there.

Beya

Classy.

Aeryllin

Awww. =*(

Goggo

I loved it.

 thanks for sharing

Coeur

@Elowin Great log, thank you for sharing! Glad to see an integration of emotes, tmotes, actions, and a genuine feel to the entire length of the scene.

And of course to @Beya for doing a close analysis. Props.