The Sparks of Rebellion: A Targossian Civil War: Part 1.

(Targossas): Eodel says, "I was told this month to be wary of eating food prepared by Vasher. Why would this be?"

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Look at the name of his store. I think that is a good example of why."

(Targossas): You say, "Because someone is not very adventurous, and decided to pass that on to you."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "Do you have anything peach-flavored Vasher?"

(Targossas): Eodel says, "I like to try new things. Perhaps I'll take a gander at what is available. Which shop was it?"

(Targossas): You say, "I'm afraid that the shop, Hot Gravy Grapes, does not sell food that is fit for the Path of the True Gourmet. Such things are beyond gold totals. If you are interested in walking the Path we can talk more."

(Targossas): You say, "For those that do not know, Path of the True Gourmet is the only official cult of Targossas, in which we practice that you should never eat the same thing twice, and that True Gourmet is a meal that is a unique experience."

(Targossas): Vanessa says, "...Eh?"

(Targossas): You say, "You might hear rumors about the Reinhold Holders cult from that villain Iaxus, I'd warn you they are not only not official sanctioned, and they eat just whatever food falls out of a legend deck card, it's an insult to everything I stand for and I am attempting to burn down their headquarters once I can locate it."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "I appreciate that. As someone who still needs to eat for sustenance."

(Targossas): Maajida says, "I also feed this magic food to our young."

(Targossas): You say, "Food that is not a unique experience is litter, and deserves to be left on the ground at Rally Point."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "They make this waybread in the Aalen forest... it lasts forever."

(Targossas): Vanessa says, "The mutton in Ashtan is pretty good..!"

(Targossas): Eodel says, "They do know how to raise a sheep in Ashtan."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "Really, they do."

(Targossas): You say, "So, if you want to know their secret you can check out public post 7-9."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Um Do I need to add arson as a possible crime?"

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Just to be prepared."

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "If Arson was a crime i'd be enemied by now."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "I'm gonna stay out of this one..."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "I handle citizen crimes differently then non citizne crimes."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "Considering I monthly blow up the barracks or Rally."

(Targossas): You say, "See, Arson isn't a crime."

(Targossas): You say, "Especially if it's to destroy that deplorable mess of a cult."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "You also lock Lumarchs in locations and try to blow them up, Reyl."

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "I'm a walking mass of fire."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "But I am a member of said "cult"."

(Targossas): You say, "And you know what, what is a few casualties when the cause is righteous."

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "Righteous like the fire that burns it all down."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "So.. It is in my favor to protect the Headquarters."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Reonna."

(Targossas): Ante says, "You joined a cult."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Without me?"

(Targossas): Reonna says, "You weren't around."

(Targossas): You say, "It sounds like we all in agreement that Iaxus and his cult should burn, good work Targossas."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Want to join?"

(Targossas): Ante says, "No."

(Targossas): Ante says, "I'm team Iaxus."

(Targossas): Ante says, "For, it seems, life."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "I oppose this cult on principal... Unless the members not in the cult outweight the members in the cult, in which case I support the cult."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Um.. That is the side I am on, Ante..."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Oh."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Well they yeah!"

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "We can solve that real easily though, life is fleeting."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "I'll add you to the roster."

You tell Ante, "Listen, I need an inside man in this cult, Reonna has been brainwashed, she literally signed a piece of paper with nothing written on it so Iaxus could write the contract around her signature."

You tell Ante, "I need you to infiltrate this cult, locate it's headquarters, and burn it down."

Ante tells you in Targossian, "I joined to do just that, Vasher."

(Targossas): Maajida says, "I think the next war game we should have them setup in the Hot Gravy Grapes building, to add a bit of tension to the fight. They should also use a tank this time."

Ante tells you in Targossian, "I'm on the path of the True Gourmand."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "I think that is a great idea, Maajida."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "They did use a tank though."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "Oh, you mean we should blow up the shop?"

(Targossas): Maajida says, "We won so swiftly I did not even see the tank."

(Targossas): Ante laughingly says, "The clean-up crew seemed to work quite well."

(Targossas): You say, "Okay, I'd like to revisit my previous topic of arson not being a crime."

(Targossas): Ante says, "It is not."

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "If they target Hot Gravy Grapes i'll have to step in and defend. Unless Vasher sells competing wares with Van Helsing then i'll help them out to even the odds."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "It turns out it is impossible to place a tank in your own city."

(Targossas): You say, "And I think perhaps arson that targets officially sanctioned cults should be a crime."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Arson is to remain not a crime in my opinion."

(Targossas): You say, "Okay all Arson is allowed except for against officially sanctioned cults, good idea Ante. I agree."

(Targossas): Ante says, "No no."

(Targossas): Ante says, "All is fair in love and war."

(Targossas): Caladbolg says, "Yeah arson in the city can't be a crime, I'll never stop getting yelled at."

(Targossas): You say, "Listen, we're on the same page, you don't need to explain any more. I completely agree."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Oh yeah."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "As a Lumarch I sanctioned Iaxus' cult."

(Targossas): Ante says, "We are Harbingers after all."

(Targossas): You say, "But."

(Targossas): Ante says, "Wait you're the enemy cult leader."

(Targossas): You say, "Wait a second."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "And by joining it, I validated that sanctioning."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "This just got more interesting."

(Targossas): You say, "So, this provides a moral quandry for me, as being a sanctioned cult is no longer unique."

(Targossas): You say, "Which means that paper I ate, someone else could eat that paper now."

(Targossas): You say, "Which means it's no longer on the Path."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "You can always renounce your sanction and then any law protecting sanctioned cults would only protect Iaxus'"

(Targossas): Reyl says, "What are the punishments for breaking the law?"

(Targossas): You say, "Hold up, I'm getting there."

(Targossas): You say, "So what is unique is being the second officially sanctioned cult."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "They will be a case by case basis."

(Targossas): You say, "So if I ate Iaxus' cult, it would be on the Path."

(Targossas): You say, "And that would bring ruin to him."

(Targossas): Reyl says, "I can survive being in trouble with the law."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "Let me see if I understand the lingo. If you've already eaten something, it is on the Path, and you should never eat it again?"

(Targossas): Reonna says, "Can you survive being in trouble with your Lumaunt, Reyl?"

(Targossas): You say, "Greeting, Lumarch Reonna. Do you happen to know where one might sign up to join the super sanctioned and normal cult the Reinhold Holders?"

(Targossas): You say, "Correct, Eodel."

(Targossas): Alyzar says, "Vasher, are you feeling okay?"

(Targossas): Reyl says, "It has come to my attention that I must join the side of the Lumaunt."

(Targossas): You say, "I am very good and okay yes."

(Targossas): Aethas says, "I am so confused."

(Targossas): Vanessa says, "I'm very confused."

(Targossas): Reonna says, "I do know. You have to sign up through myself or Iaxus. And we do not accept everyone."

(Targossas): Karalden says, "Vasher, this seems mildly suspicious."

(Targossas): Aethas says, "I think I woke up in the middle of something."

(Targossas): Eodel says, "You did."

***I walk to Rally Point where Reonna is***

You say, "Greetings."

You say, "I would like to join your stupid ass...erm, hrm. One moment."

***I leave the room for a moment***

Your mouth turns up as your face breaks into a smile.

Reonna inclines her head politely.

You say, "Greetings, Lumarch, how are you?"

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "I am doing well. How about yourself."

You say, "I am so good, no issues at all and certainly no identity crisis."

You say, "I would like to join the reinhold cult please. I have a reinhold card."

You draw forth a card depicting Reinhold, the Baker and a miniature treasure box cake springs fully

formed into your palm.

A card depicting Reinhold, the Baker may be used 3 more times before its potential will need to be


You say, "It produces garbage which I eat willingly."

Reonna tries to school her face into a serious expression, failing to suppress her smile.

Reonna says to you in a soft, melodic voice, "Sorry got distracted for a moment."

You have emoted: Vasher continues holding his reinhold card out, unsure of what to do next.

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "I would first need to see proof of your desire to join."

Reonna hums innocently to herself.

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "Meaning you must eat all 5 things you draw from your Reinhold."

You have emoted: Vasher looks down at the card which he is clearly holding in a way that expresses disgust.

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "Oh and a piece of cake."

Reonna's eyes sparkle with amusement.

You say, "Oh drat, That one thing I just summoned just now was the last charge on the card because I was so excited about eating garbage earlier."

Throwing back your head, you scream agonisingly.

(Targossas): You say, "I can't do it."

***I leave and go to the barracks where Reyl is standing***

You say to Reyl, "I hear you're an arsonist."

Reyl says to you, "I have been known to arson."

You say, "How would you feel about burning down someone that is eroding the moral fiber of this great city."

Reyl says, "You had me at "burning down"."

You say, "Iaxus must be dealt with."

Reyl says, "The reason is inconsequential."

Reyl says, "You want me to destroy my replacement?"

You say, "Yes, he thinks he's so much better than you, and needs to be reminded of his place."

Reyl shrugs helplessly.

Reyl says, "Sure."

You feel that Reyl deserves some congratulations and you clap wildly.

You say, "You, Sir, are a man of true character."

You say, "We should develop alibis for this meeting."

(Targossas): You say, "Oh no, Alyzar just beat me at rock paper scissors again, I'm so bad at it and he's the Champion."

You say, "Okay, I'm covered."

You say, "Burn well, Daybreak Lord."

***I go back to rally point where Ante and Reonna are***

Ante says to you in Targossian in a low, rough voice, "Arson time?"

You say, "If someone ends up being burnt, I wasn't organizing it, I was playing rock paper scissors with Alyzar."

Reonna carefully cuts a slice of frosted lemon cake from a frosted lemon cake.

Reonna gives a slice of frosted lemon cake to you.

You clench your fists and begin to fume.

Reonna hums a happy tune.

You have emoted: Vasher attempts to form his face into a smile but his eyes stay locked on the cake and he seethes with anger.

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "I am sure, Calcine loves cake."

You say, "'ll eat this "food"."

Reonna says in a soft, melodic voice, "Only if you wish to join our ranks."

Alyzar arrives from the south.

You say, "Shame you beat me in rock paper scissors again like you just did."

You say, "Where was that, in the rose garden, definitely not the barracks, right?"

Alyzar says in a smooth, amiable voice, "...Sure."

Reonna gives a slice of frosted lemon cake to Alyzar.

Alyzar smiles and says to Reonna in a smooth, amiable voice, "Thanks."

You say, "I haven't been to the barracks to plot anything today, so it couldn't have been there."

You have emoted: Vasher drops the cake onto the ground and stomps on it violently.

You say, "Whoops, I'm so clumsy."

Alyzar says to you in a smooth, amiable voice, "You seem a bit off."

Alyzar says in a smooth, amiable voice, "Well, aside from the whole stomping on cake thing."

You have emoted: Vasher stares directly at Alyzar and slowly his mouth tilts upward and he begins to bare his teeth in a terrifying display of a smile.

You say, "Why do you say that, Champion."

Reonna whispers to Alyzar in a soft, melodic voice, "I think he is going to murder someone..."

Alyzar tilts his head at you while rubbing his chin, thoughtfully declaring "Hrm."

Alyzar says to Reonna in a smooth, amiable voice, "I just hope it's not me."

***Editor's note: While Vasher wasn't planning to murder Alyzar, he had pushed him off of a cliff the month before***

You say, "I certainly wouldn't have plotted a murder today, because I was busy doing my alibi of playing rock paper scissors."

Caladbolg tilts his head to one side while looking at nothing in particular, rubs his chin, and thoughtfully mumbles "Hrm."

Alyzar nods warily.

Alyzar says to you in a smooth, amiable voice, "That's... right."

Alyzar cautiously takes a few steps away from Vasher.

You say, "I simply have had no time to plot murders at all, shucks, such a busy day."

Reonna hides behind Caladbolg.

Alyzar says in a smooth, amiable voice, "Yeah, I gathered that part."

Caladbolg says to Alyzar with a slight shallamese accent, "Make sure you watch where your going."

Caladbolg says to Alyzar with a slight shallamese accent, "Don't want you to fall down more stairs."

Alyzar says in a smooth, amiable voice, "Hypothetically, who would you have planned to murder IF you were thinking about it?"

You say, "I only just Bloodswore with Iaxus, so murdering him would be like murdering myself, even if it was for the greater good and he has to die."

Alyzar says in a smooth, amiable voice, "Right..."

Alyzar says to Reonna in a smooth, amiable voice, "Are you writing this down?"

You say, "I certainly wouldn't try to wrest control of his cult and attempt to eat it either."

Caladbolg gives a comical jack-in-the-box to you.

Caladbolg says to you with a slight shallamese accent, "There you go a present for Iaxus."

You say, "Oh, this box is interesting."

You say, "It seems kind of dangerous though, how would I use it to kill a rival cult leader, just so I know what to avoid doing."

Caladbolg says to you with a slight shallamese accent, "Give it to him and tell him to play with it, and to turn it towards him."

Will our Hero be able to save the Path of the True Gourmet from the machinations of the dastardly Iaxus? Find out next time!


  • RRH is better than TTG, just get used to it Vash. We will reign supreme forever.

    Jumpy said:
    The membership is already such a good deal that there is no way we can reduce the cost. 

  • Seems fine, carry on.

  • edited August 2021

    Damn I came here expecting a legit uprising or at least, as advertised, the spark of one - and ended up finding myself in a Targossian version of Centre Crossing instead.

  • I'm triggered by "shallamese" in lowercase. 🙄

  • @Shecks get fucking clickbaited

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