I'm not making a new thread because I think this is terribly important or unique. I am making a new thread because I don't want to cloud the other, purpose-made threads with my personal drama.
I recently lost the love of my life. Or at least the current love of my life. Either way, it hurts. I was no angel, and neither was she. I do feel we could have made it, but life is life, and sometimes this is just how it goes.
Something I have come to learn over the course of the breakup process is that I have a tendency to put all my eggs in one basket, to borrow the phrase. The people I fall for tend to be my best friends at the time, which isn't a bad thing, but it does mean that if it doesn't work out, there is a huge void in my life. I intend to rectify this moving forward. Though I am a textbook introvert, which means my energy is spent on other people and regained when I'm alone, I know that no man is an island. I can't sit here and claim to be empathetic while snubbing people who reach out to me.
To that end, I am reaching out to the Achaea community in general and pathetically asking for love and friendship. Yeah, it's pretty pathetic. I get it. I ask that you do understand that as a veteran, my closest friends are scattered across the whole world. I'm not trying to say "wah wah, served my country, have sympathy". I'm just stating the facts. I need to branch out. I need to connect with those who have tried to connect with me.
There are many of you who have actually reached out to me in the past, in game, and I have not reciprocated. You know who you are, and I extend my deepest apologies to you. It's not because you weren't worth my time. It's all on me. I am so sorry. Don't think I didn't know. You are all amazing people, and you deserve more than what I gave you.
So, on a practical level: I play Minecraft on Aralaya's server (I don't care what character you are now, you're still Aralaya shut up), I have a Steam account, and I have a particular fondness for horror games and movies, but only those that explore the deeper philosophical concepts of the nature of existence. I prefer the first Alien over Aliens, for example, and Alien Isolation should have made more money than it did, despite its flaws.
Also, full disclosure: My ex knows I play this game, and she will come across this post. I wrote it with that in mind. Though she's blocked me on everything, I want her to know that I'm not angry. I'm still in her corner. Society will not be kind, but I refuse to compromise my morals. I understand why she did what she did, and I completely validate it, even if others don't. Maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe I should just take the easy path and hate her. But I refuse. I'd rather be taken advantage of, than do wrong to another. I really was no angel. While I deserve better than what she gave me, the reverse is also true, and my guilt pains me. If I could reverse my past actions, I would. I just want her to be happy, even if that doesn't involve me.
Anyway, send me your Steam accounts. Please reach out to me. You guys are the one community in my introverted life that have been consistently amazing. I mean, I watch you guys squabble over petty in-game nonsense, but I can tell that if anyone outside the community were to make a criticism, you'd be the first to jump to their defense. You guys really do seem to have the mindset of "I hate them, but I am the only one allowed to do that." And I love that. Hell, I watched Atalkez (sorry for calling you out, man) go from hating Mhaldor to joining them, searching his name on their private Discord, and regretting it. Honestly, it was kind of hilarious to watch at a distance. He's not even mad. You all throw shade at your in-game enemies, but it's less of a genuine hatred and more like a sibling rivalry, and I love it.
I'm not going to give my Steam or Minecraft name here because I'm a lonely introvert who's terrible at communicating with other humans, but if you're interested in interacting with a flawed but well-meaning individual, please reach out to me in private messages. Not in-game, not Discord, but here on the forums, because that's what will get my attention.
And again, you need to understand that I'm not wholly the "good guy" in this situation. I'm not going to reveal details of what went on. For the benefit of my ex, I'll say this: Farrah knows everything, but she doesn't judge. I made sure to paint you objectively. You should talk to her, honestly. (I'm so sorry, Farrah; I know this isn't drama you want in your life.)
So, uh... yeah. Hi there? Hit me up? I love you all, really?