Occultist Cliches and Pitfalls, version 2.0

Amunet

Once upon a time, I made a rather snide, ineloquent thread about the cliches and pitfalls to which new Occultists, be they truly new or troublemaking alts, often fall victim. Thanks to some wonderful questions asked by @Sybilla in another thread, I have decided to post a revised version here on these new forums. It is significantly better-phrased, its tone is more constructive and less disparaging. The old version is still kicking about on the internet somewhere; feel free to do a search for it, if you want a laugh.

If you are considering becoming a member of the Occultist class - especially if you plan to join the Occultists - this thread will describe what might be termed "bad roleplay" for this class (and in slightly altered forms, likely for many others, as well). In general, the members of the Occultists are not big fans of "special snowflake" roleplay from novices. Most of us are of the school of thought that attention, respect, and power are things that must be earned, not things to be freely granted. Bear that in mind, work hard, and display a willingness to pay you dues, and we will overlook nearly any fault or inconsistency in your roleplay ... but these aren't among those acts considered pardonable.

This list will be updated as more bad roleplay arises. 

SECTION I - BACKGROUND CLICHES

Cliche: "I was an orphan. I grew up in Shallam, and around the age of <insert age here> I was enrolled in the choir. I endured years of sexual abuse and/or religious indoctrination at the hands of the perverse Choirmaster before making my escape at age <insert age here>."

Why it should be avoided: First of all, this joke is older than time. It is so overdone that even the Occultists fail to snicker over it as much as they once did. Secondly, I have never seen anyone roleplay the long-term effects of sexual abuse, let alone roleplay them well. The story becomes a feeble plot device to justify one's loathing of the House's historic enemies. There are legitmate, canon reasons why Occultists should hate Shallam, which you can work into your character's purpose once you have learned about them in late novicehood. 

Cliche: "I was born to a single mother. She died when I was <insert age here>, but {she told me|I discovered shortly afterward} that my father was a(n) {Occultist|Nihilist|Discordian}. Please, help me find my father!"

Why it should be avoided: Whether you have a potential parent in mind, or you simply expect the person you ask to help you find your family, this sort of thing forces another Occultist to take part in your roleplay. I can't think of any member of Team Chaos who would bloodline a child who had these expectations, so it is likely that the people who attempt it will end up disappointed. If you want to find your character's parents, there are much better ways to do so - so many, in fact, that they could end up the subject of their own thread.

Cliche: "My mother was raped by {Chaos Lords|Pazuzu|Babel}, which makes me half-{Chaos Lord|demon|God}. My power is indomitable! Look how mighty I am!"

Why it should be avoided: One thing you must understand about the higher Chaotic powers is that they are just that - higher. They are so far above the mortal inhabitants of Sapience that the fact that we are able to carry on any sort of relationship with them at all ought to be a source of wonder for us. Babel rarely deigns to speak with mortals directly - even mortals within His own Order - so the likelihood of Him raping a mortal woman in order to conceive a child is slim to none. The same goes for the Chaos Lords. I can only recall one time in canon history that a Chaos Lord left the Chaos Plane to enter the Prime Material Plane, and it took the kidnapping of another Chaos Lord to make it happen. What is more, only practitioners of Occultism are allowed upon the Chaos Plane - any others are to be killed on sight. Even the Occultists with whom the Chaos Lords bargain are treated with a healthy measure of disdain. The idea that the Chaos Lords would sully themselves by coupling with mortals is almost inconceivable .

Amunet

SECTION II - DESCRIPTION CLICHES

Cliche: "A myriad of scars pepper his body, evidence of savage battles fought and won."

Why you should avoid it: Achaea is a land where healing potions are common and affordable, and where complete resurrection from death is a daily occurrence. Any enduring scar would have to come from a particularly virulent source - mere hunting wouldn't cut it. What is more, combat in Achaea is incredibly complex. It is not something that you will be able to master after grinding for a week. Even players who have hunted to the one hundredth level and beyond can be felled by those half their might. Either they do not respect the intricacy of Achaean combat, or they have not taken the time to learn the benefits and limitations of their abilities and taken the time to hone their strategy. Whatever the reason, battle wounds in your description are likely to get you mocked or ridiculed until you have proved your mettle in martial affairs.

Cliche: "His face is characterised by {strangely-coloured|glowing|pupil-less|chaotic} eyes, which are the result of some esoteric experiment."

Why you should avoid it: Unless you are the product of an Occultist family (and with a description like this, you probably aren't!), it is unlikely that you have witnessed or taken part in any Chaotic ritual or experiment before your Rebirth. Ritual and experimentation, like combat, are forms of roleplay that take a long time to master. If you do it right the first time, you are probably doing it wrong. @Flair, @Apollodorus, @Morro, @Orklanishkal, @Lianca, myself, our dearly-departed Imyrr, and everyone who has ever successfully roleplayed a thaumaturgist in the Occultists has a number of considerable failures under their belt, and realistic limitations in regard to what they can do. Because rituals and experiments are considered to have dangerous consequences, the Occultists also limit novice exposure to them, choosing instead to focus the novice curriculum on independent survival skills, and, later on, the history of Occultism and what it means to be an Occultist. There will be plenty of time, later on, for you to add Chaotic aspects to your desription, if your ritual endeavours lead you that way. Be patient.

Cliche: She is a beautiful Siren. Lustrous red hair flows in gentle waves from atop her head, framing her perfect, oval face with its vivid, viridian eyes. Two large, supple breasts jut out from her chest, shocking in size compared to her slim frame, overshadowing her tiny waist and broad, womanly hips. A small, furry pouf of a tail twiches adorably over her pert bum, matching the tall, snow-white ears that rise up from her ruddy locks. Her two front teeth are ever-so-slightly prominent, and her tiny, upturned nose loans a leporine quality to her features. Though her long, toned legs are humanoid, she seems to hop, rather than walk, the abrupt motion sending all of her womanly assets a-jiggle. It is obvious to all who look upon her that while she is still undeniably gorgeous, some Chaotic experiment has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Why you should avoid it: I have chosen, here, to kill two birds with one stone and take care of the "random animal parts" and "obvious sexalt" aspects together, since it is a sad fact that most people who succumb to the former also take part in the latter. See the above entry on novices and ritualism for the animal bits, and remember that if you want to play a character with animal qualities, you should opt instead to reincarnate as one of Achaea's more bestial races. 

Moving on to the second point, this sort of description perhaps reveals a bit more about your bedroom proclivities than any of us ever wanted to know. Bear in mind that the Occultists have developed - at least, publicly - a sort of Victorian approach to sexual displays. Many of us are married, none of us dress like nuns, and I doubt that any member of the House roleplays complete celibacy, but we do not describe ourselves in such a way that it draws attention to our "assets", or implies that we are constantly "open for business". What you do in the privacy of your character's home or ship is your own business, but keep it out of the public eye. The Occultists have a reputation to uphold.

Cliche: He is a <insert race here>, and is ugly. Warts cover all exposed area of his body. Open sores are present across his arms and legs, reeking of rot and constantly oozing pus. Festering skin sloughs off of his form to drip haphazardly onto the ground surrounding him, and his eyes are filmy and jaundiced. His teeth are blackened and chipped, he is afflicted by halitosis and flatulence, and dandruff showers from his head like a Logosmas snowstorm. Snot dribbles constantly from his nose, drops of the foul, viscous discharge spattered across his corpulent stomach, which eclipses his lower body almost completely. He wheezes constantly, as if perpetually short of breath, and the odour of sweat emanates from his armpits. 

Why you should avoid it: There is no problem with having physical flaws in your description. You can, however, go overboard. If you describe yourself like this, a lot of people are going to treat you with the same disgust and disdain that in real life they might level toward a half-mad homeless guy who sits next to them on the bus. If you can handle that, then by all means, proceed. Do know, however, that it will limit your interaction with good roleplayers.

People have tried to argue with me about this in the past, using both Flair and Babel as examples of people who are hideous, yet quite popular. The difference is that Babel is a God, and Flair did not come into the Occultists looking like he was fresh from the grave. The ghastly appearance that Flair boasted until recently was the result of real-life years of roleplay that included both backfired rituals as well as displays of devotion and penitence. It takes time to be able to build that sort of appearance and still retain your credibility.

Amunet

SECTION III: PERMANENT DISABILITIES AND OTHER NONSENSE

Cliche: Muteness or stuttering.

Why you should avoid it: Occultism and Domination, whether used in combat or ritual, require chanting, incantations, and the verbal command of powers and entities. This necessitates an Occultist to speak with eloquence, clarity, and accuracy. If you choose to be a mute or a stutterer, you need to be prepared to roleplay in such a way that you are unable to perform most acts of Occultism - this will either severely limit your character's potential, or force other people to get involved in your roleplay by finding a "cure" for your disability, which most of us won't be willing to do. It's best to leave this cliche to classes where speech is not a prerequisite.

Cliche: Chronic blindness, deafness, or both.

Why you should avoid it: With salves and tattoos capable of curing both of these afflictions, the idea of permanent blindness or deafness in Achaea is fairly far-fetched. While there are NPCs (and a few players) who roleplay full or partial blindness or deafness, they, once again, have the benefit of being an NPC, or of having developed a character that has had experiences with forces that could forgo the power of mundane curatives. This is also another form of roleplay which forces the people around you to take part, or to give you special consideration, which is something that, by now, you should realise makes you look like you want attention, rather than that you are a serious roleplayer. If you want a permanent affliction, be patient. I'm sure you can contrive an opportunity, once your character is established, for something disastrous to occur.

Cliche: I was raped!

Why you should avoid it: Rape is a sensitive issue under any circumstances, and given the rules against sexual harassment in Achaea, unless this is very carefully orchestrated, then it is possible that it could get one or more of the people involved into trouble with the game's administration. Denizen rape is even less likely, and an even bigger and more obvious plea for attention. Like I stated in the first cliche, about sexual abuse in Shallam, I have never seen anyone roleplay the long-term effects of such, and I really doubt it could be done effectively. In short, rape roleplay is just tasteless, and should be avoided at all costs.

Cliche: I'm pregnant!

Why you should avoid it: For nine real-life days, you roleplay illness, moodiness, physical distortion, discomfort, and then painful, bloody childbirth. Now what? It is unrealistic to expect that you will roleplay carrying around a child for the next IC year, nor that you will roleplay yelling at a small child for perhaps ten more. You will not roleplay being able to miss out on House events because, in the event that you and your spouse are not affluent enough to employ a nanny, you could not find a babysitter, and your spouse refused to stay home with the children. You will not roleplay sending your implied child tearfully away to school, nor to university, nor tearfully off on his or her Trial of Rebirth. If you decide, instead, to have your child kidnapped or killed in order to avoid the issue, your ensuing grief will, once again, force other people to take a part in your roleplay as they awkwardly comfort you, or perhaps, God help them, attend a funeral. 

Like rape roleplay, pregnancy roleplay would take a massive commitment from the participants involved, and all-in-all, it just isn't feasible. If you really want to flesh out the details of how your character's children came to be, then do so after the fact. I have an entire story for each of Amunet's children's conceptions and the ensuing pregnancy, but I never actually roleplayed having a baby shower, or going into labour during a city council meeting. There are some things that would be incredibly uncomfortable to roleplay that can just be written in later on. No one will question it. Trust me.

Cliche: Possession/sudden enlightenment or madness after walking into a specific area associated with Chaos.

Why you should avoid it: Nearly all outsiders, and definitely most Occultists, have gone into these areas repeatedly, over the course of hundreds or thousands of years, without suffering any ill effects. Possession and sudden madness are usually ploys for attention, and will be treated as such. People are more likely to ignore you than they are to engage you, so just avoid it. If you want to be possessed or driven insane, there will probably be an opportunity later on, once your character has earned a measure of credibility.

Cliche: Possession/sudden enlightenment or madness after a ritual.

Why you should avoid it: See the above statements regarding random possession and madness, and add in what I said earlier about Occultist novices having only limited exposure to ritual. Performing a ritual that would get you possessed without the sanction of the House (or, at least, the oversight of an elder member) will probably get you cast out, rather than garner the attention you were hoping to receive.

Cliche: Being disrespectful, disobeying organisational regulations, or prostituting oneself because "it's chaotic!"

Why you should avoid it: Chaos in Achaea does not equate anarchy. It is a vast and insurmountable power, and those who hope to master it or to worship it have a well-defined ideology. If you want to roleplay an Occultist, it is a good idea to read the assigned scrolls, and to observe your fellow Occultists. Keep what the scrolls say in mind, and emulate those Occultists whom you admire. Novices who fall victim to the above cliche are typically regarded as troublemakers, and will likely be kicked out. More than a few have also met with consequences from the administration.

Tahquil

But you can totally ignore the rape, pregancy and choas babies part as long as your a nihilist or Melodie, right?

Lodi

Everyone I've known who has successfully and tastefully RP'd those three things (or something similar) have already been well established characters. A novice cant really get away with them.

Edit: Come to think of it, most experienced players cant get away with it either. You've gotta be a damned good RPer to sustain these concepts complexities and make them believable, which is why most people fail.

Tahquil

There's a pretty strong history of it in the congregation as well. I think every female messiah before me got knocked up by Morimbuul at some stage or another.

Morro

What Mel had was a parasite and there was totally no rape involved. I did not have relations with that woman!

Lodi

Tahquil said:

There's a pretty strong history of it in the congregation as well. I think every female messiah before me got knocked up by Morimbuul at some stage or another.

Really? I thought it was only Ladydeath and someone else who literally got hard-code impregnanted by Morimbuul? I could be wrong though.

Cooper

Idk, but apparenetly I'm that things dad. <_<

Amunet

@Tahquil- While teasing @Flair about that incident, I managed to sneak in a "Bed Intruder" reference. Semi-bad RP, but worth it.

Jonathin

Good thread.

Melodie

Hey. I hear you talking about me.

Don't make me come over there! *shakefist*













In any case, @Morro is correct. Everything was kept -tasteful-.

Well, until @Halos stabbed her in the stomach, anyway. :-/

Love the thread, @Amunet. I know you guys get some crazies - hopefully this helps a bit.

Beya

@Amunet fantastic thread, thank you. It drives me to make one for Jesters - for the good of all players ever.

Tvistor

Melodie said:

@Halos stabbed her in the stomach, anyway. 

If that actually happened, best Caliph to date.

Also it is a great thread, but the temptation to make alts with all of these backgrounds worked in simultaneously is huge.

Chryenth

You'd implode from the sheer cliched-ness of it all, taking all of Achaea out with you. So Babel wins.

 I'm not sure that's the message Amunet wanted to put across.

Also, I'd love to see a Serpent/Magi version of this. I've probably fallen into every pitfall of the second one, ever.

Melodie

Tvistor said:

Melodie said:

@Halos stabbed her in the stomach, anyway. 

If that actually happened, best Caliph to date.

Well, this happened a few years before @Halos was Caliph. Slightly edited version to keep it short, but here's a snippet:

Halos wields a bronze ritual knife in his left hand.

Father Halos Vorondil says ceremonially with an eastern accent, "All our thoughts and our soul we have committed to thee, O Guardian, deliver her from all attacks of the enemy."

Halos stands swiftly, bearing the knife in upturned fist, sweat pouring down his face.

Halos murmurs reverently as he advances upon you with a grimace.

Melodie stares at Halos, her eyes widening as she watches him advance upon her, her trembling increasing.

Father Halos Vorondil whispers with an eastern accent, "O radiant Light, make radiant her soul, guide and Guardian Angel, given her by the Light."

Darting forward, Halos locks eyes with you briefly before plunging the bronze knife into your belly in one smooth motion.

Halos rips the knife downward in a stabbing motion, and with a grimace, draws the knife back, blood flowing from the ragged wound.

Father Halos Vorondil whispers with an eastern accent, "The enemy troubles and tramples on her, and teaches her to follow her own desires but, O my Guide, forsake not the dying."

--

More on topic: @Amunet, what's the craziest novice you've had in memory?

Asmodron

Will this make the white folk like me mama?

Amunet

My first protege, Angelicus, was among the worst. Amunet was still in her twenties, so I was hardly more than a newb myself, and I had no idea how to handle his stalking - yes, stalking. The kid was insane. He declared his undying love for me, followed me everywhere, prismed repeatedly into my subdivision house, and eventually ended up being killed by my first text-husband. Gregg, the head of novices at that time, kicked the kid out of the guild shortly thereafter.

More recently, there was Zoma, and his ten-ish alts. Each of them failed the first stage of novicehood, having been woefully underprepared for the evaluation. They then proceeded to take up Jestering, and scrawled graffiti all throughout Ashtan and New Thera, slandering both me and the House.

And who could forget @Asmodron? He remains so bitter about having failed his final examination that he has taken to heckling me on the forums.

Asmodron

Amunet said:

And who could forget @Asmodron? He remains so bitter about having failed his final examination that he has taken to heckling me on the forums.

Nawww you remember me, kiss and make up time. *huuuug*

Alynna

I should do one for the Congregation, but from what I can see our novices are shockingly non-offensive. Worst I got was a busty siren that Alynna sneered at once, but she went inactive anyways.

Xer

That's because all the offensive ones get kicked out immediately  

A small shrubbery declared <silly name> to be a formal enemy. Reason: Moron.

EDIT: Better leafy mister?

Apollodorus

I am starting to worry that Apollodorus's racism against non-tsol'aa is causing his Occultist proteges to commit suicide before graduating from novicehood. Also perhaps his tendency to use them as handy blood sacrifices for ritual work. Don't they understand how lucky they are to participate in the advancement of Occult understanding!

Mishgul

My name isn't redacted wtf

Tahquil

I can think of three I think from the congregation, trying desperately to find who the prgeny ended up being but I think that was on my old laptop. Viscount Nebatu(sp?) is the only name I can recall.

Jiraishin

I know where to find the info but it's past 2 am and I want to go to sleep.

Xith

Beya said:

@Amunet fantastic thread, thank you. It drives me to make one for Jesters - for the good of all players ever.

@Beya Do it. I'm sure the more general rules from her posts can be copied without infringement.

Just don't make it too Nazi, because while there are more types of jesters than the fallback "annoying clown", they won't all be corralled into dark jester or combat jester or poised performance jester.

Synbios

@Amunet: Are there still novices who have used the 'I was x'd by Shallamese priest?' backstory even today?

Amunet

All the time. It's the cliche that won't go away.

Synbios

I feel bad for you.

Orklanishkal

As a contrast, Orklanishkal's name was the result of drunken parents slurring their words!

Lianca

He was supposed to be Tony.