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Most wtf moments that have happened to you

JonathinJonathin Retired in a hole.
in The Universal Membrane
I was just thinking about a time when I lived in Kalamazoo and a guy came to my house and just drank like half a bottle of alcohol-free mouthwash.

And the time a person came to me house and was so interested in my dishwasher that he wanted to take it out of the island and just would not shut up about it for half an hour.

The time another Achaean (shall not be named) showed up at my house scantily-clad and then stole some pretty important stuff from me.

All of the times (3+) that I've had to extinguish my dad (he was literally on fire in some way or another).

That time I got into a knife fight with my brother (sounds cooler/more idiotic than it actually was).


So I'm curious, what are some of the most WTF moments that have happened to you in your lives?
I am retired and log into the forums maybe once every 2 months. It was a good 20 years, live your best lives, friends.

Comments

  • SpasSpas
    I work in a customer facing job that can involve awkward telephone calls. I received a call yesterday from a non-client asking about the general area of a completely different and distinct business. Said lady proceeded to get pissed at me when I politely communicated that I had no idea what that business was like nor its surrounding area. Solid comments like:
    • "I want to be safe! I don't wanna get raped! Or murdered!"
    • "What do you mean you don't know?! You must live in the area!" (thank you, lady, for assuming I must live in crime rich areas)
    • "I don't trust the judgement of the people who referred me! They could have made it up! I want yours!"
    It gave me a chuckle on an otherwise slow day, if nothing else.
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    edited November 2015
    Woke up in the middle if the night... Thought to myself it's a cold night I shouldn't be sweating this much. 

    Confused moments as I realize that there is definitely unknown moisture in the bed...

    Turn on the light to realize that I had liquid shits in the middle of the night. I shit my pants...while sleeping.


    Goodbye mattress (not!)



  • TreyTrey
    And the person with that story is Szanthax, surprising nobody.

  • AchimrstAchimrst Nature
    So, I was wandering in the forest deciding whether or not I should leave Hashan and become a Sylvan. Then suddenly, as if from nowhere, a Druid starts talking to me in squirrel. Hated druids for it every since.
  • AnedhelAnedhel
    I work at a hospital, and one of the patients in the Acute Psychiatry Services Unit bit me. It hurt like a motherfucker, and I had to get a tetanus shot and a blood screen for Hep B :/
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Law...



  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Alaskar said:
    First few weeks on base, apparently camp Lejeune water is poison, and that's all I drank at the time. Anyways, I  had dysentery, or something similar  for like a week straight, during which time I kept drinking more water to stay hydrated, until someone told me better. Walking to the barracks one night, it hit me. No toilet. Only 100 yards. I can make it. Shit all over myself walking up stairs. Best part? Live with two roomates. No showers in the barracks due to remodeling. Had to sneak to company office to bathe. No one seen it, thank god.

    Now I'm a cop, i work in the jail (until a road spot opens). Every day is a wtf moment. 20 year old white girl bawling for a drunk in public, her life's over and she'll never graduate college now to be a school teacher cause she drank too much wine. Nevermind it's like a speeding ticket with an 8 hour stay in jail. No big deal. Literally, prepayable. Now she's offering to do anything I want to let her out. Next girl in jail is apparently the cook at a restaurant I liked. Or used too, cause she doesn't have any teeth and is extrordinarily grimy. And she's flipping me off and threatening to sue and call the sheriff because she beat her husband and he called the cops. I had to ask a new booking his sexual orientation, he thinks I'm calling him gay. Now I'm the gay one. Ask him if he's got a problem with me being gay. Now he feels bad about it. Also, all cops are crooked, power hungry, narcissists. We don't have families or people to support. We also write, interpret, and enforce the law, apparently.
    When I was in jail I was like... This is never happening again. I had just finished eating a giant burrito... Sitting in a cell for 12 hours rely fucks with your bowels



  • AchimrstAchimrst Nature
    Here is a rl wtf moment for you: I had a female roommate we were going to college and shit right, nice little cheap apartment and I have the bigger room but she has the room with the nice closet. Bitch moves some ex-BF into her room with her for like a month or two and then gets pissed that my actual BF at the time stays over for a couple of days. I wanted to slap that ho so hard so I moved out never had a roommate ever again after that. Also bitch stole my ice cream, fat cow.
  • BoosteyaBoosteya
    This is /not/ my wtf-est moment. Those are not appropriate for here.

    That caveat posted, there was a time when I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go out and just see where my feet would take me IRL.

    After some random walking, a native American guy asked me about a cigarette. I don't smoke.

    We both did some walking, til at least my feet hurt (I'd walked from Columbia Heights, which is slightly north of Minneapolis, to what we call the Uptown area, which is southwest of downtown Minneapolis. Not the most I've ever walked at once, but still a good hike) so we sat on a bus bench and chatted til dawn. And then he put some tobacco under a tree, said a prayer, and wandered off.

    I have prosopagnosia, so if I ever meet him again, I won't know it.
    Miin-aan baash kimini-sij-i-gan bitooyin sij-i-gan-i bukwayszhiigan = blueberry π
  • KasyaKasya Tennessee
    Most of my biggest wtf moments came from the year I spent living and working at a church, so I'll refrain from sharing them so as to not risk offending people. 

    However, working at a bookstore, I once witnessed a group of about 6-7 guys all enter the men's bathroom at once. It had one stall and one urinal, and so that was pretty suspicious. I went and got the only male working that shift, my manager and told him. He cussed at me, went into the bathroom, cussed more and told everyone in there to leave, came back with a WTF DID I JUST SEE look on his face and asked me if I knew what a circle jerk was. 

    I was both horrified (cause there were kids in the store at the time and who knows what could have happened there...) and yet amused because wtf, but I didn't have to deal with it myself. And the look on his face... I just started laughing. That poor man hated me for days after that.
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Tahquil said:
    I have very vivid, very interesting dreams.

    A few days ago I had a dream that the Jurrasic World theme park in my town was going to be expanded and I was the woman who would design the layout of it. I went down to the Indomitable Rex pen to tell it the good news since we had placed 3 raptors in the same cage due to space restraints.

    However, they had bonded and had started to concoct plans to escape. They had killed one of the raptors and strung the body parts in the trees to let them cure. Their plan was to bribe me with raptor jerky and while I was distracted chewing they would sneak out the side door and into a playground and blend in with a school group and escape on their bus when they left.
    Did their plan work??



  • ShadizarShadizar
    edited November 2015
    I remember one time in high school, during class I went to go to the restroom. As I turned the corner into the bathroom I saw something that I still remember as vividly as if it had happened yesterday and not 17 years ago.

    Before I continue I would like to say that this story is not about making fun of special education kids only the shock value of what I saw.

    So it was during class I left to go to the bathroom and I turned the corner into the high school bathroom. One of the special education kids, probably a solid 6'3 250 lbs vs my then 5'11 150 lb self, was standing about 4 feet away buck naked with a traffic cone on his head. I think the cone made him appear even more intimidating in such close quarters. He stared me dead in my eyes and I looked down and noticed first off his penis was enormous. I also noticed in his hand a large piece of doodoo. He had been drawing or smearing I guess letters of some kind on the wall. I turned around to run and slammed straight into the concrete wall. I got up and went back to class and got sent to the principal because I was so hyped up on adrenaline couldn't stop laughing for about 30 minutes straight.

  • AlaskarAlaskar
    The real shock is that upon encountering a massive, naked special education student with a traffic cone on his head, your first thought was to cash in your free comparison glance. Of course, in my high school days I might have grabbed a cone and joined the party.

  • SobriquetSobriquet
    Working as a porter in a psychiatric hospital in my late teens was never a dull moment. I had numerous times where I had to keep on my toes from being attacked with a fire extinguisher to the obligatory instance of having shit thrown at you. One that seems to be eye bleach resistant was the time I walked into a ward kitchen and found one of the patients masturbating using teabags. He looked me straight in the eye and started a normal conversation without even flinching like he was actually using the teabags for their intended purpose.

    (Party): Mezghar says, "Stop."
  • ManachManach
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.
  • TharvisTharvis The Land of Beer and Chocolate!
    last year of high school, we decided to book a class trip to barcelona. Started out a normal trip, then suddenly in the middle of the night we get woken up to an inhuman screaming from the pool. So me and my roommate are like "what is going on" before noticing our polish friend is missing. So we walk onto the balcony to figure out wtf is going on, and there he is, our missing polish friend, sprinting across the yard/pool area completely naked, shouting things in his native tongue.
    Aurora says, "Tharvis, why are you always breaking things?!"
    Artemis says, "You are so high maintenance, Tharvis, gosh."
    Tecton says, "It's still your fault, Tharvis."

  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Manach said:
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    I've had this happen to me also.

    Love public transit.

    In fact working at the casino makes most if these stories seem tame lol




  • KezKez
    @Manach  said:
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    Maybe she was offended that you didn't offer her your seat, since she was hobbling and the side-facing seats take more work to stay put in.
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Kez said:
    @Manach  said:
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    Maybe she was offended that you didn't offer her your seat, since she was hobbling and the side-facing seats take more work to stay put in.
    I was on the bus. I already vacated my seat to some older patrons. As I'm standing there my work calls asking some pretty innocent questions. As I'm on the phone one of the patrons that was standing at the front if the bus turns to me... Standing a good 14 feet away and  starts cussing me out.. like I was talking about him. Fuck you man FUCK YOU MAN. So I continue to try to have a conversation as this guy is screaming at me on the bus... I get off on the next stop lol.

    On the same bus line. Like a week ago:
    Riding to work. Bus starts to get crowded. I notice that a wheelchair is getting on the bus so I vacate my seat (my bike was on the front of the bus so I stand near the fronts) . As I get up a woman that just hopped on the bus before the wheelchair sits down where I was at like it's HBIC seating. So the wheelchair gets on and the driver asks this woman to move to the opposite side because he had a big motorized scooter and he would fit on that side. This woman... Refused to move across the aisle. Absolutely refused. To the point where everyone on the bus was standing there asking her why she wouldn't move across the middle aisle for this man. It got to the point where the driver had to call her supervisor and we were sitting there with people talking shit to her for 10 minutes or so. Eventually I and a few other people, afraid we'd be late, just got off the bus. I walked to my terminal stop and the bus still wasn't there so I was glad I left. 

    Glad she proved her point



  • ManachManach
    Kez said:
    @Manach  said:
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    Maybe she was offended that you didn't offer her your seat, since she was hobbling and the side-facing seats take more work to stay put in.
    It was a mostly empty bus. She walked past the vacant elderly-priority seating, as well as a number of empty regular seats. My seat was actually the first of the raised seats in the back, up two or three steps. It's a mystery.
    If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.
  • SzanthaxSzanthax San Diego
    Manach said:
    Kez said:
    @Manach  said:
    I was sitting on a metro bus when a little old lady got on at a stop midway through the route. I was seated 2/3 back on the bus in a forward facing seat just behind a side facing bench seat. The woman hobbled down the aisle to take a seat on the bench in front of me. As she turned to sit, she paused long enough to pointedly, angrily flip me the bird for a good 5 seconds or so with a sneer on her face, then sat down like nothing happened. I felt a bemused grin streal across my face and looked around in confusion. My expression was mirrored by those around me. Shaking my head, I laughed it off and still wonder to this day what prompted her to do it.
    Maybe she was offended that you didn't offer her your seat, since she was hobbling and the side-facing seats take more work to stay put in.
    It was a mostly empty bus. She walked past the vacant elderly-priority seating, as well as a number of empty regular seats. My seat was actually the first of the raised seats in the back, up two or three steps. It's a mystery.
    S she was just expressing her frustration st not being able to get up those same steps



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