Old soldiers never die... (remix)

AerekAerek East Tennessee, USA
Call it narcissism, but I did want to leave this up for the @-tagged folks that hadn't stumbled across it yet, so this is the revised, forum-TOS friendly edition. I did miss a boatload of replies to the old one, the forums tell me, but no one needs to feel obligated to re-post those.

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Well, ladies and gentlemen, I guess it's my turn to write one of these trite little memoirs. I've never been the fastest in this race, nor the strongest, nor the smartest, so I've tried all I can to be one of the most consistent presences around. If I was a friend or ally to you, I hope I was a consistent friend or ally. If I was a dick to you, I apologize, but at least know that I tried to be a consistent dick, so you'd always know what to expect. But the issue with being consistent is that when you get pushed out of your niche, it's tough to find a new one. After 7 years of playing the same character in the same house, I wouldn't know how to start over if my life depended on it, and the thrills of the houseless life don't exactly get me all hot and lathered.

I've always played for the Wardens, and I've always said I couldn't inhabit any other House. Some of that's was for the roleplay, but most of it was because the Warden leadership was filled with older, more mature, most down-to-earth folks I knew in the game. @Metzger, @Dallam, @Jhaeli, @Ilireth, @Vendros, @Bannor, if you guys ever read this, you guys made this game fantastic for me, and probably a better place in general. We simply didn't have the drama that other Houses did because most of the guys playing in this corner of the game just were just better people than that. They were all DungeonMasters, more interested in other people having fun than any personal biases or agendas. (Making sure other people have fun generally means you're remembered, though, so it works out.)

One of my earliest influences was probably Dallam, going Page to Page, Squire to Squire, asking "Are you having fun? Do you think the ways we do things are working? How could we change them to be better?" That drove home to me that this House, though we valued tradition and legacy as RP bases, wasn't too proud to change. We were always trying to do what we did better. When Metzger became HL, we entered a progressive golden age. I was Knighted and became a triumvirate HL in that period, and along with Metzger and the half-dozen other dynamic, open-minded, mature names up there, we revised old, ineffective Guild policies and even started some new traditions that are still going today. We pushed boundaries, challenged norms, and weren't afraid of change or new things.  As those players started to leave the game for all their separate reasons, I tried to maintain that momentum and that mindset going forward. I was even offered HL at one point, but declined because I did not want to be remembered as that "Priest who led a Knight House". Sometimes I regret that decision, but I don't think it was my biggest mistake.

By biggest mistake happened when I came back after a year of dormancy. I came back and dropped the "conflicted Priest/Knight" RP for Paladin, and dropped the "wise old preacher" RP for a drill sergeant mentality. I was ready to tackle the game like we did in the old days, and try to breathe life into a House that had gone through more than one dormant leader since I'd been away. My mistake was not realizing how much the House had changed in the meantime, how fundamentally different the perspective and political atmosphere had changed in my time away. Gone was that progressive, proactive mindset, and arisen in its place was something far, far more conservative and reactionary. I didn't realize that the current playerbase had never experienced those "golden years" and so the stagnant, quiet, non-confrontational state of the Wardens was what they were used to.

Without ever meaning to, and without even realizing it at first, I slowly alienated myself to everyone in power because of a fundamental difference in approach to the game: when everyone else around me was asking, "How do we get back to our roots? How do we become what we used to be?" I was asking, "How do we adapt to the changing times? How do we honor our past without living in it?" Not only that, but what I found was a leadership that didn't seem to be interested in the players trying to advance below them. When you expect your members to become good at combat to advance, but you haven't changed your combat test since Rajamala speed and curare/aconite was the go-to tactic, there's a problem. When your House requires younger players to swear allegiance to a Knight in order to advance, and only 3 of the Knights in the House are actually seeking younger players to help out, (Thank you @Tarkor, @Naomh) there's a problem. And while I might not be the most diplomatic man in the world, (Sorry for that) when you aren't pulling your weight, and I mention that, it's really not my fault if you get offended.

Did I get what I had coming? Probably. I'll admit to being brusque. I'll admit that being an aide to every office, proctor for every exam, and co-author for about 70% policies in that House might have inflated my sense of self-worth. I'll admit that I am relentless when I feel things that need to happen aren't getting done. But at the end of the day, I felt a responsibility to the new players trying to enjoy the Wardens, and I wasn't afraid to make enemies with the players at the top who were content to ignore them saying, "We've always done it this way." Actually we haven't, you're just not old enough to remember the good days. So, yeah, I waged a war against the HL and lost, although the fact that I was tossed out within 72 hours of admitting plans to contest the HL is a pretty unfortunate coincidence, made even more unfortunate by the fact that the pretense used was both suspect and chronologically impossible, if anyone cared to look at it. But by that time, I was so unpopular upstairs that no one really did. As popular I was with the lower voting ranks, I'll probably humor myself and say they must have been afraid I might have won the election.

In the end, it's okay. I had a good long run, and I've always said that everyone needs to retire after being in power for 100 IG years. I was never the guy on top, and I didn't get any honors line, but I've been pulling strings and making calls for at least 4 of my 7 years, so perhaps this is just what I get for not following my own advice. I won't say this is "goodbye," since we all know that no one ever really quits this game, but I think it's time to hang up the swords and retire. I'll still stop in from time to time to watch the world go by, but it'll be from my estate on the Zaphar, (Thanks, @Iocun, Melodie) sipping Tom Collins and ma tais, sharing stories with the youth that involve such popular phrases as, "in my day" and "uphill both ways."

Good luck with the new changes, have fun with the things that have always kept you,

Eric/Aerek

P.S. To who ever soul-walked into that estate and pilfered all the journals you found: Thank you for reminding me why eye sigils are important, and thank you for leaving my fullplate behind, but you could have at least had the common decency to leave me a smug, gloating message. You can keep the journals, but I at least want to know whose name I can curse!

A few parting thoughts, in no particular order:

@Melodie I guess you and I are both proof, now, that you can't inhabit that grey area forever. Even when you're loved by the underdog, if the powers that be aren't impressed, eventually you'll slip up and that will be that. I hope your situation turns out better than mine did, but I think we both had some fun walking our own fine lines as we went. Don't go dormant now that you're a dragon.

@Aeryllin Never change. There are few chipper, optimistic, light-hearted characters in this game I don't absolutely despise, and you're at the top of that list. You did a fantastic job with the Cyrenian festivities, and I think, through all the light-heartedness, you have the drive that can really turn an organization around, and the empathy to care about other people and whether they're having fun. The Mojushai have needed that for a long, long time, and I hope you can turn them into what they should have always been.

@Wessux and @Nellaundra I think you guys made a bad move, and I hope you don't go dormant because of it, though I appreciate the show of support. Wessux, especially, you did some dumb shit, but I saw the hard work you put in while we were Wardens. I think you spent more time teaching combat to the younger guys than anyone in that House, and that's why I was willing to jump on any grenade that was thrown your way. (Or the ones you threw, yourself) I think you can do well anywhere you end up, you don't need my help, you just need to rage less. Nellaundra, too, but I know her rage is at least RP'd; yours is just raw and impressive in its self-destructive capability.

@Maethros, @Invictus, @Arkailus, @Tasleus, @Brekahn For those who stayed in the Wardens and were close to me, I hope you can accomplish what you set out to do, and that nothing is held against you. Where the long list of Knights at the top of this post were the reason I got into this game, you guys were the reason I kept logging into all the frustration at the end, so I hope the time I put in was worthwhile on your end.

@Verrucht As a completely accidental and coincidental quirk of how life played out, I've never been on good terms with an Imperiate, (excepting Jhaeli) you probably least of all. And that's before factoring in that we weren't friends before you were even in government. (Or Cyrenian?) With that in mind, there at the end, you had a real opportunity to curb stomp my face into the sidewalk, and I don't think anyone would have objected or even raised a question. But despite all the disagreements and confrontations we've had, you didn't. You even stuck up for me a little. I respect that.

@Silas and the rest of @Shallam, really: Sorry for the whole Rho vs Lumeni thing at Centre Crossing, and all of the Lumeni seperationist RP that followed. It was my first leadership position, and I was still figuring out how all the game's pieces fit together, and there was this huge deal that was specifically targetted at the folks I was supposed to be watching out for, so I jumped in with all I knew at the time. Later on, I did come to understand why following the Church's orders and Devotion's institutions were important to the game, and you guys never saw how often I argued with Cyrene and the Lumeni about how they all wanted to be heathens, but I never did really try to reach out and be friends with the East. Then again, all that confrontation did put the Lumeni on the map, so I'd do it all over again. Just know I'd feel bad about it on the inside.

On that note, @Lumeni I'm sorry I kinda dropped you guys when I came back. I spent most of my career building you up, trying to turn you into an actual organization, then high clan, only to come back and not spend much time or interest at all. I just couldn't figure out how to keep up my original enthusiastic reformism RP while at the same time acquiescing to the changing nature of Devotion, so I thought it best to just keep quiet and watch. Except for that time I blew up on @Bahtell. (Sorry, Bahtell)

@Friztic I am willing to admit, you probably didn't deserve all the antagonism I gave you. By the time you were elected, I had already sat through 8 months of the prior inactive leadership, so my expectations were high and my patience was already short. That's the most I'll concede, though; we had plenty of other, completely legitimate reasons not to like each other through the 6 months of your inactive leadershp. I find you stubborn and easily offended, and I find your opinions and policies to be draconically conservative, stifling more roleplay and opportunity than they will ever create. I hope the simple fact that I was willing to throw away a 7 year career in this game to oppose you as adamantly as I did at least makes you stop and reflect on yourself before you chalk me up as some random asshole.

I did forget @Tvistor, @Antidas & Co the first time: You guys were always in my peripheral, whether antagonizing Melodie or breaking into my home, but I just never spared the time to hunt you down for interaction, and that's a shame. Both of you seemed like good guys, and while trying to actually hunt serpents with my sub-par rapiers would have been a futile endeavor, I have a soft spot for fighting losing battles.

@Xenomorph, @Hhaos, and @Arador Thanks for making Knighthood feel bigger than just a one-House show. It's fair to say I didn't know any of you well, perhaps at all, but yours were names I would refer to newer players to show that the Knighted world was bigger than the Wardens, and that there were names out there I respected as much as our own. And though it was arguably the catalyst for my downfall, the Council of Knighthood was an extremely cool idea, and I hope it does get carried on. Xenomorph, in case you missed it when the last thread was deleted, I've a few loose ends to take care of before I dawn my Hawaiian shirts and head for Zanzibaar, and that's definitely one of them.


-- Grounded in but one perspective, what we perceive is an exaggeration of the truth.

Comments

  • Wait, the old one got deleted? Like, outright? Wow... that's... kind of sad.

    Ciao, Aerek. Our interactions were few, but you seemed like a cool guy who did cool things.

  • Your first post was borderline, but should not have been deleted, and was done so only through miscommunication among the admin (it wasn't Phaestus that did it either, just to be clear). We're seeing if we can recover the thread, but it may not be possible. 
  • Looks like we're not able to recover the old thread, apologies!

    Hope this is only a temporary absence for you.
  • What happened was that it had already been discussed and we decided to leave it, but Scarlatti wasn't on when we did, logged on, saw it, and took action. We just didn't communicate that the thread should have stayed, so not Scarlatti's fault either. Just miscommunication.
  • I can't be bothered to replicate my entire post from before, but I basically said, "Lol check this out"

     

    http://pastebin.com/w3YjtvAn

     

    and showed that log to commemorate my only real recollection of who "Aerek" is.

    image

  • Dear @Aerek,

      Well, I am going to wish you a fond farewell again.  (I don't think it's going to be as good as my first attempt but here goes.)...I hope you find what you are looking for out there in the real world.  I know I have and it is great.  Hopefully some day soon you will be able to return to Achaea and have people welcome you back as we tried to say goodbye just yesterday.  Take care of yourself!  It's a shame we didn't bump elbows, but maybe next time.


    Sincerely,


    Cobra

    P.S. This proves to me, that the OFFICIAL Achaean forums are not exactly...Out of character, chit chat.  So I will be taken that to heart and not, smearing any names on here.  That hopefully is how you all feel.
  • We never really interacted that much in-game, but whenever we did I thoroughly enjoyed it. I always had the greatest respect for both you as a player and your character (as different your character may be from mine).

    Take care and enjoy life!
  • You did a revision.. And still forgot me!

    As punishment, the size of the pieces I being you back are going to be halved do it is more painful.
  • WessuxWessux Chattanooga
    I know you think I made a mistake, and to be honest I probably did. But we both know that when I rage, I rage hard. And if I didn't leave get ousted I would have killed Friztic in the spire in front of god and everybody, and would have been kicked from the House and City anyway. But you made this game fun for me, taught me a lot about combat, and always had my back when I needed it. You're a good man, and the Wardens are half the house they were without you.

    P.S. It was fun to be your go to murderer when you wanted to show a page what time and effort can make you into.
    Invest in a 9mm retirement plan.
  • A lot of your frustration seems to be more about Cyrene's (and therefore the Warden's)more or less pacifistic attitude. It's why I left a long time ago, maybe you would enjoy things elsewhere, but best of luck with real life, I didn't know you that well, but the interactions I had with you were all pleasant. 
  • RuthRuth Singapore
    You know where to go for less pacifism.





















    MHALDORRRRRRRRRR!!

    That said, hope you come back to Achaea one day, Aerek. Your name was pretty big and known in Cyrene and it shows how much effect you have.
    "Mummy, I'm hungry, but there's no one to eat! :C"

     

  • DaslinDaslin The place with the oxygen
    Welp, again, take it easy bro. Hope to see you around again at some point. I'll have @Melodie poke you for me.


    Seth/Daslin

    PS. This time, not so much of a weird high school yearbook signing.
  • Been holding off on posting since words haven't been coming to me easily. Sad that Tess' didn't get to know Aerek better than she did, especially considering her position. Not for lack of want; she's just a shy little thing. Loved the time they did have though, especially the wedding. You know you could always raise a rogue army of knights, right? :D

    Anywho, Achaea lost something significant with your absence. Even before I had a character in Cyrene, or really even knew much of Cyrene, I'd still heard of Aerek. Then when I met him from Tess' position I saw first-hand why. So I hope you return in the (near) future. In the meantime I hope RL goes well for you and that you keep in touch! (After all, we have yet to poke that Pink Pogo-stick of Doom.)
  • Sad to see you go man. I always felt sorry that we are not around the same times as it was always refreshing to flesh out Knight RP and you were one of the very few non-Maldaathi I could see eye to eye with. We may not have known each other for long or very well but I always respected you. I would have loved to see what would happen with the Council if you kept going with it. All the best, enjoy your breather and if you are still not getting anywhere when you return, you know where to find me.

  • AerekAerek East Tennessee, USA
    Tahquil said:
    You did a revision.. And still forgot me! As punishment, the size of the pieces I being you back are going to be halved do it is more painful.
    @Tahquil From the moment you resurrected newbie Wessux after his lol-worthy duel against Xenomorph, I knew our destinies were to be intertwined. We shared so much in common:  our inability to tolerate the plebeian masses,  our failed forays into Cyrenian politics, and even our doomed fate to be ever upstaged by our more popular partners. (I butted heads with the Church for years, but did I get excommunicated? Noo-ooo.) There is only one way out for us, my dear:  we must start a book club, or a cribbage night, or perhaps a shuffleboard court. A place where we can drink heavily and gossip mercilessly about our spouses, or whatever other drama is handy. That's what married women do, right?
    Platonus said:
    A lot of your frustration seems to be more about Cyrene's (and therefore the Warden's)more or less pacifistic attitude. It's why I left a long time ago, maybe you would enjoy things elsewhere, but best of luck with real life, I didn't know you that well, but the interactions I had with you were all pleasant. 
    It was less a matter of pacifism, and more that I was just a progressive liberal surrounded by conservatives. I wanted to push in new directions, change things that the young guys were complaining about, and replace people that weren't active. When most everyone around you is pretty content with the way things are, that grates on them.
    Arador said:
    Sad to see you go man. I always felt sorry that we are not around the same times as it was always refreshing to flesh out Knight RP and you were one of the very few non-Maldaathi I could see eye to eye with. We may not have known each other for long or very well but I always respected you. I would have loved to see what would happen with the Council if you kept going with it. All the best, enjoy your breather and if you are still not getting anywhere when you return, you know where to find me.
    Such is life. You were a cool rival/brother in arms, and our dueling sessions actually got me through a combat wall I'd been stuck at for a while. To this day, though, I only think I know how to dodge your Vivisect, it's something that I never had the opportunity to try out.
    -- Grounded in but one perspective, what we perceive is an exaggeration of the truth.
  • MelodieMelodie Port Saint Lucie, Florida
    edited April 2013
    Aerek said:
    Tahquil said:
    You did a revision.. And still forgot me! As punishment, the size of the pieces I being you back are going to be halved do it is more painful.
    @Tahquil From the moment you resurrected newbie Wessux after his lol-worthy duel against Xenomorph, I knew our destinies were to be intertwined. We shared so much in common:  our inability to tolerate the plebeian masses,  our failed forays into Cyrenian politics, and even our doomed fate to be ever upstaged by our more popular partners. (I butted heads with the Church for years, but did I get excommunicated? Noo-ooo.) There is only one way out for us, my dear:  we must start a book club, or a cribbage night, or perhaps a shuffleboard court. A place where we can drink heavily and gossip mercilessly about our spouses, or whatever other drama is handy. That's what married women do, right?
    Oh, I SEE how it is.

    Had a nice, pleasant post all written up (AGAIN) from the previous deleted thread because YOU broke the ToS, but what happens? No, you gotta start gossiping about me. 

    I see how it is! >:P

    So this time, I'll keep it short and not-so-sweet: You are an arse in the first degree, but unfortunately entirely too fun to hang around and bother. Alas the fate that left my character stuck to yours.

    Edit: Okay, so I can't really keep it that short. In honesty, you've been a very inspiring character to Melodie for years (I don't even think you knew about it for ages), and your departure is definitely going to leave a hole in the family and in your House. It's been an interesting and exciting journey to watch our characters butt heads, grouch at each other, and end up in our current pickle. You were the first to -really- teach me what being a priest was, when I was really just a 16 year old with no clue of what was going on, and you're part of what has inspired me to keep fighting and keep trying to go down this bumpy road I'm on, now (for good or for ill!). I expect to see your return, otherwise I will be very put out - and don't think you've escaped our clutches. Achaea will always call you back!

    Now, to properly counter @Santar's log, I have again provided one of my own. In a long list of logs I have involving the famed arse that is @Aerek, I have a particular gem that should make him laugh, and the rest of you cringe: the Senate debate (the latter half, anyway) of the original Lumeni chapel. Goryllin told me to forward this to you ages ago, Aerek, but no idea if I ever did!

    WARNING: The log below has been known to induce the following symptoms - Massive headaches, migraines, dizziness, confusion, blindness, short-sighted-ness, frequent drooling, swelling of the head or eyes, hallucinations, inability to reason, severe bruising of the forehead due to over-palming, stomach ache, stomach cramps, violent implosions of the head, and a slight tingling in your left pinky-toe.



    And I love too                                                                          Be still, my indelible friend
    That love soon might end                                                         You are unbreaking
    And be known in its aching                                                      Though quaking
    Shown in this shaking                                                             Though crazy
    Lately of my wasteland, baby                                                 That's just wasteland, baby
  • edited April 2013
    Aerek said:

    @Xenomorph, @Hhaos, and @Arador Thanks for making Knighthood feel bigger than just a one-House show. It's fair to say I didn't know any of you well, perhaps at all, but yours were names I would refer to newer players to show that the Knighted world was bigger than the Wardens, and that there were names out there I respected as much as our own. And though it was arguably the catalyst for my downfall, the Council of Knighthood was an extremely cool idea, and I hope it does get carried on. Xenomorph, in case you missed it when the last thread was deleted, I've a few loose ends to take care of before I dawn my Hawaiian shirts and head for Zanzibaar, and that's definitely one of them. Xenomorph, coincidentally, is truly oppressed. I would feel robbed if I was the most well hung of all Achaean's, and not given an honours line.




    I'm in every month, and would be glad to resume talks. I don't want you guys timid about trusting Arador, I, or any other person with the clan you see fit. We need to come to an early understanding about the one group that has a moral compass that points the people the right way. Anyone there needs to be the real deal and a team player. The Council will -listen close Knight players, fail the moment an appointed faction rep does anything less than 100%. Every faction lead needs to have an outstanding representative, so the one that doesn't stands out like a turd in a punchbowl. Then the others put him in check, or check him out for good if need be, getting someone that will rep their people to standard. The faction leads should be the one group able to take the hive mind concepts back to the people for dissemination, while maintaining integrity and security for their orgs.

    One of the biggest things I'm trying to push with my own Ministers, as an example, is to go beyond"what is expected" and don't feel at a dead end as to what you can or cannot do with the Achaea hard code. Think outside the box and get extremely creative as it pertains to your lane. Its only as boring or as limited as one makes it. Likewise, the Council needs to have this mindset as the Knights, imo, have never truly even began to reach the potentials they could achieve.

    The very fact we are not a high clan speaks that to all of us with Moses-like thunder.
    I -am- the Cataclysm Switchblade.
  • Sorry I'm a little late. Aerek already knows this, but some of what he was talking about was one of the reasons I had a hard time getting involved in the game again even before I left for "mat leave". There's a very different atmosphere in the House and the city these days - but then again, that's how the game works. It's been happening for a long time now and it isn't necessarily a bad thing, even if some of us are having a difficult time adjusting. If people are having fun, all the power to them.

    @Aerek, you know how to reach me if you ever want to talk about it. Just wait. You'll find your mojo again and soon we'll see Aerek wandering around, teaching/preaching the kids. ;)

    "Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to? You will never find that [everlasting] life for which you are looking. When the gods created man they allotted to him death, but life they retained in their own keeping. As for you, Gilgamesh, fill your belly with good things; day and night, night and day, dance and be merry, feast and rejoice. Let your clothes be fresh, bathe yourself in water, cherish the little child that holds your hand, and make your wife happy in your embrace; for this too is the lot of man." 

  • Jhaeli said:
    Sorry I'm a little late. Aerek already knows this, but some of what he was talking about was one of the reasons I had a hard time getting involved in the game again even before I left for "mat leave". There's a very different atmosphere in the House and the city these days - but then again, that's how the game works. It's been happening for a long time now and it isn't necessarily a bad thing, even if some of us are having a difficult time adjusting. If people are having fun, all the power to them.

    @Aerek, you know how to reach me if you ever want to talk about it. Just wait. You'll find your mojo again and soon we'll see Aerek wandering around, teaching/preaching the kids. ;)
    Heh, you are very out of the loop by blindly endorsing anything related to your pet clan, m'dear.

    Noobpants McGee just pulled the entire Wardens Guild out of the Council of Knights. He allows personal feelings to interfere with the good of the organization. He harbors grudges and will be complicit in the downfall of his people, this is an early indicator that will go unheeded, and history will show I was again your facepalming messiah of warning. Just an FYI.

    Oh yeah, let me fire a "OOC statement" harpoon on this sum'bitch before I fire it off. Kazaam.

    There we go.
    I -am- the Cataclysm Switchblade.
  • Well, @Aerek. I believe we first interacted when you sent @Wessux to gut me and the Templars. (Still love those days when I had no idea what I was doing). As well as actually interacting with you when I came to Cyrene/Wardens after a bit of a dormancy. Even with the little time we had, you spent a good amount of time teaching me about combat. I have to thank you for helping out, I greatly appreciate it. You ARE a good mentor, a good guy and a hell of a Knight. If you do not make your return (Which we all hope and -know- you will) I wish you the best in life. I've always respected you, even when I was not part of Cyrene I heard your name. You've made a great impression on not only myself but many here. I hope this isn't the last time we speak nor the last time Invictus sees you! He hasn't defeated you yet! Hopefully you can return for my knighting ceremony or when Invictus is elected house leader, but i'll be fine if you come back before either of those. (heh)


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