Descriptions Wanted 1.0

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Comments

  • ^ looking for feedback on that description
  • The over use of 'her' makes it very repetitive and dull despite your best efforts to be otherwise.
  • Tahquil said:
    The over use of 'her' makes it very repetitive and dull despite your best efforts to be otherwise.
    Tried mixing it up more, how's this:

    She is a beautiful siren, with pale skin nearly the color of fresh milk, bright green eyes, and a natural black beauty mark resting beneath her right eye. Her heart-shaped face has high cheekbones, full lips, and a shapely nose, with hair that falls past her pointed ears and smooth shoulders in jet black waves. Noticeably tallish, a delicate bone structure emphasizes the natural length and slenderness of her frame, despite an amply apparent softness. Otherwise graceful movement is accompanied by jiggling with any provocation, her hips, love handles, and potbelly all moving with their own swagger. With substantial bust she is somewhat top heavy, but her flabby gut hangs out prominently in front. Looking as though her pampered body has gotten as plump as it can handle, she fills out clothes to near bursting wherever her skin is not exposed outright.
  • I should probably redo mine for posterity, since it's outdated.  Does anyone know of or have copies of old Mhaldorian descriptions?  @Wulfen? @Khoraji@Ulrike?  I miss my friends and want to immortalize them in artwork.

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