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The Knight and the Bard

ShirszaeShirszae Santo DomingoMember Posts: 3,010 @@ - Legendary Achaean
So, this was my first bardic entry. I've decided to post it here in an effort to hear further critiques/opinions/whatever. If I had to do a summary for it, I would say it is the story of a random encounter that ended in the only way it could have ended. Or something. I am not good at summaries. Or at this. So just read and comment, please?

And you won't understand the cause of your grief...


...But you'll always follow the voices beneath.

Tagged:
TharvisNellaundraBishanKeiJurixeNaevia

Comments

  • NellaundraNellaundra Member Posts: 1,556 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Beyond a few spelling errors (wilful instead of willful and a few like that) I really enjoyed it and didn't see many errors.  I honestly enjoyed how you weaved actual combat abilities into the narrative, since most people just tend to treat combat like a separate OOC thing.  So all in all, would read again and hoping you write more!
    image
    Shirszae
  • AntoniusAntonius Member Posts: 4,566 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Haven't read the story itself, but I'd consider wilful the correct British spelling which is what's used in/for Achaea.
    Eld
  • SaevaSaeva Member Posts: 1,938 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I loved it!

    Now don't mind my brain too much... but I'm going to take a creative liberty here...

    "Ah. Something clicked in his mind just as everything swam about him. "You are a Jigglypuff," he gasped"


    ShirszaeBishan
  • BishanBishan Member Posts: 32 ✭✭ - Stalwart
    Good stuff, like @Nellaundra said I really liked the interspersing of combat abilities fluidly throughout the combat piece.  Good read
    Shirszae
  • OrzaansynOrzaansyn Member Posts: 663 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I liked it much, a very good story. :)
    image
    ShirszaeBishan
  • JiraishinJiraishin trapped in a thawing block of iceMember Posts: 1,233 @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited March 2014
    I liked it. Tsol'aa don't have pointy ears, though. I seem to remember a deathsight once where a rare pointy-eared tsol'aa fell to his death from a tree after being ostracized by his round-eared peers.

    EDIT: there's enough fiction and art in the ArtBard archives to suggest that the Bardic judges aren't going to discredit a good story over that, though. And it is a good story.
    ________________________
    - 2018/09/06 01:58:21 - Mezghar says, "Alasiel is like my sunshine minion. Jira is like stormcloud of death minion."
    ShirszaeEld
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