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Elder Dragon Enter/Exit messages

KatzchenKatzchen Mhaldor
edited October 2013 in The Golden Dais of Creation
Can we please get some more proof-reading done on these? There are FIVE choices for every elder dragon to choose from, and at least two of those have poor sentence structure. I'm not asking for any major changes, keep the flavour, just make them so they don't make those of us who appreciate language cringe.

You may select the following alternative enter/leave messages for dragonform.
(1):
Enter: Light shines prismatically from the outstretched wings of the elder dragon Katzchen, who glides in from the $dir before landing with a ground-shaking thump.
Exit: Launching him/herself $dir with $his/her powerful hindquarters, the elder dragon Katzchen unfurls his/her enormous wings and glides effortlessly to the $dir.
(2):
Enter: Katzchen glides gracefully in from the $dir on open wings, the air rippling in his/her wake.
Exit: With a sinuous dip, Katzchen wings gracefully away to the $dir, the air rippling in his/her wake.
(3):
Enter: With ominous portent, Katzchen's draconic form approaches from the $dir.
Exit: Katzchen vanishes to the $Dir, the surroundings seeming to shift in his/her wake.
(4):
Enter: The immense body of Katzchen, his/her iron-hard scales gleaming brightly, emerges from the $dir.
Exit: The towering, draconic form of Katzchen moves to the $dir, razor-sharp claws leaving deep gouges in his/her wake.
(5):
Enter: The earth trembles underfoot as the elder dragon Katzchen enters from the $dir.
Exit: The elder dragon Katzchen leaves to the $dir, the earth trembling in his/her wake.
Syntax: TALISMAN SELECT DRAGON MOVEMENT <num>

#1 is crazy long, and the exit mentions the direction twice, which seems extremely strange. #4 the enter is weirdly phrased, and would make more sense re-ordered, as well as @Penwize pointing out there are many surfaces where you couldn't 'gouge'. #3 could do with a little change. Lots of people seem to dislike the way the surroundings 'seemingly' shift, they either shift, or they don't. (this one doesn't bug me so much, but it does quite a few people)

Is it just the select few people I've spoken to about it who see the problems here, or what?


ETA: Also, honours line for achieving elder dragon, pretty please? :)


               Honourable, knight eternal,

                                        Darkly evil, cruel infernal.

                                                                 Necromanctic to the core,

                                                                                         Dance with death forever more.



Comments

  • IocunIocun
    Not sure there needs to be a honours line for something that requires nothing but continuing what you've been doing anyways (bashing), and has a significant reward already. On the other hand, eh, who cares! If an honours line is important to you, why not.

    →My Mudlet Scripts

  • KatzchenKatzchen Mhaldor
    edited October 2013
    Iocun said:
    Not sure there needs to be a honours line for something that requires nothing but continuing what you've been doing anyways (bashing), and has a significant reward already. On the other hand, eh, who cares! If an honours line is important to you, why not.
    There's a honours line for bopalopia, and heaps for killing denizens... Elder dragon means you've already gotten dragon, and then a lot on top... that's not just 'some more bashing', it's something pretty significant.

    At the moment there's nothing to show on honours at all, so yes some marker would be nice. It'd also be a warning that 'this person can switch between dform and lesser in sub 5 seconds' to others, which would be nice.


                   Honourable, knight eternal,

                                            Darkly evil, cruel infernal.

                                                                     Necromanctic to the core,

                                                                                             Dance with death forever more.



  • KadenKaden
    Katzchen said:
    Iocun said:
    Not sure there needs to be a honours line for something that requires nothing but continuing what you've been doing anyways (bashing), and has a significant reward already. On the other hand, eh, who cares! If an honours line is important to you, why not.
    There's a honours line for bopalopia, and heaps for killing denizens... Elder dragon means you've already gotten dragon, and then a lot on top... that's not just 'some more bashing', it's something pretty significant.

    At the moment there's nothing to show on honours at all, so yes some marker would be nice. It'd also be a warning that 'this person can switch between dform and lesser in sub 5 seconds' to others, which would be nice.
    I'm not so sure about that! I mean doing math for the Bop quest was tougher than getting Dragon!
  • AntoniusAntonius
    It's really not that much extra bashing compared to what's required for gaining Dragon, and potentially even less for people who are working towards Dragon after the implementation of talismans (since they'll be gaining pieces before they even reach it, depending on where they hunt). Not to mention how easily and cheaply you can buy (or even get for free) a great deal of the pieces these days. Soon enough it won't be an achievement at all, and just something you'll expect all but the newest of dragons to have, I think.

    I don't care either way about an Honours line, but if there was one added for Elder dragon in general I'd also like a specific one for the first five to achieve it.

    Results of disembowel testing | Knight limb counter | GMCP AB files

  • KatzchenKatzchen Mhaldor
    edited October 2013
    I just want -something- in honours to show it. Race - Elder Dragon maybe.

    And compared to most of the honours lines, yes getting to dragon -and- Elder dragon is a lot more significant. It certainly doesn't take months to kill an Ur'vamp, just a small group. Yeah, first five should get a different one.

    That was like 2% of this thread, an afterthought. So any comments on the other 98%?


                   Honourable, knight eternal,

                                            Darkly evil, cruel infernal.

                                                                     Necromanctic to the core,

                                                                                             Dance with death forever more.



  • IocunIocun
    edited October 2013
    If it's important for combat balance, don't make it a honours line (humble trait), but add it elsewhere.

    As for the other 98%: agreed!

    →My Mudlet Scripts

  • KatzchenKatzchen Mhaldor
    While I -love- being able to get from runie to dragon in 4 seconds, yeah it definitely has some advantages in raids especially. 4s paused vs 18 seconds paused is a huge difference in a combat scenario.


                   Honourable, knight eternal,

                                            Darkly evil, cruel infernal.

                                                                     Necromanctic to the core,

                                                                                             Dance with death forever more.



  • IocunIocun
    Oh, no doubt about that. Elder dragons can actually dragonform/dragonheal between a lock and death.

    →My Mudlet Scripts

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