Forums Home Forum Rules Achaea.com Lore Wiki Vote for Achaea! IronRealms.com
Home› Everything Achaea› The Blank Canvas

The Knight and the Bard

ShirszaeShirszae Santo Domingo
in The Blank Canvas
So, this was my first bardic entry. I've decided to post it here in an effort to hear further critiques/opinions/whatever. If I had to do a summary for it, I would say it is the story of a random encounter that ended in the only way it could have ended. Or something. I am not good at summaries. Or at this. So just read and comment, please?

And you won't understand the cause of your grief...


...But you'll always follow the voices beneath.

Comments

  • NellaundraNellaundra
    Beyond a few spelling errors (wilful instead of willful and a few like that) I really enjoyed it and didn't see many errors.  I honestly enjoyed how you weaved actual combat abilities into the narrative, since most people just tend to treat combat like a separate OOC thing.  So all in all, would read again and hoping you write more!
    image
  • AntoniusAntonius
    Haven't read the story itself, but I'd consider wilful the correct British spelling which is what's used in/for Achaea.

    Results of disembowel testing | Knight limb counter | GMCP AB files

  • SaevaSaeva
    I loved it!

    Now don't mind my brain too much... but I'm going to take a creative liberty here...

    "Ah. Something clicked in his mind just as everything swam about him. "You are a Jigglypuff," he gasped"


  • BishanBishan
    Good stuff, like @Nellaundra said I really liked the interspersing of combat abilities fluidly throughout the combat piece.  Good read
  • OrzaansynOrzaansyn
    I liked it much, a very good story. :)
    image
  • JiraishinJiraishin skulking
    edited March 2014
    I liked it. Tsol'aa don't have pointy ears, though. I seem to remember a deathsight once where a rare pointy-eared tsol'aa fell to his death from a tree after being ostracized by his round-eared peers.

    EDIT: there's enough fiction and art in the ArtBard archives to suggest that the Bardic judges aren't going to discredit a good story over that, though. And it is a good story.
    ________________________
    The soul of Ashmond says, "Always with the sniping."

    (Clan): Ictinus says, "Stop it Jiraishin, you're making me like you."
Sign In or Register to comment.