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Disclaimer: Do not dare feel sorry or sad, that is not the purpose of this little tale. It's more that I would rather friends hear this from me than some random chat and then feel upset I hadn't told them.
A bit of background: after struggling on and off for a while with back issues, and after finally thinking it was sorted, some months ago I began to get shoulder and hip pains. As you do, you trust your healthcare system, and I went through several avenues for advice and treatment. Most gently suggested losing weight and exercising would be beneficial, copious amounts of meds switched hands etc etc and still things went from bad to worse. 2.5 weeks ago I had just received acupuncture, more advice on meds, and bought an exercise bike.
2 weeks ago yesterday I was rushed into hospital with 8 days of vomiting, the latter 2 unable to keep liquids down. Imagine my shock 8 hours later when I was informed I had lesions on my shoulder which was an indication of bone cancer, and would need admitting for more tests...
So here I am, 3 weeks on. I have primary breast cancer which has then spread into bones - both shoulders, several vertebrae and, the worst area, my right hip. The bones are being eaten away by some tiny pacman who seems to like chomping on them. I have so little bone in my right hip that I'm on permanent bed rest until they can work out what the hell they can do.
It is Not curable.
They can treat it (at this point anyway) and hope to manage it to give me more time.
I do not know how much time I have but I plan to feel blessed for every day.
A simple X-ray could have brought this to light months ago.
Don't ever accept brush offs or be made to feel it is in your head and not really bad, from medical personnel.
Don't be as nice as I was, and accept people telling you it's ok when you know it's not.
Anyway, I'm still in hospital, I have my iPhone, pad, and a big smile. Some days are ok and some days, when my calcium levels go sky high, I am ill and don't want to talk.
I don't need sympathy. I need gossip, funny stories, grumbles, anything really apart from people wanting to feel upset at my situation. As a wise friend told me yesterday "people being upset at you are people who make it all about themselves when it should be about you." I just want smiles and laughter!
Go home tonight and hug your family. Don't hold grudges till the end of time. Tell your kids and parents you love them. Time is too short to waste being angry, and I plan on spending my time being happy.
That's all, folks.