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What have you designed today?

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  • ArmaliArmali Posts: 931Member, Secret Squirrel ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Those weird British people...
  • AhmetAhmet Wherever I wanna bePosts: 3,370Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Strange. matte is also acceptable in british english, and there's several room descriptions that use 'matte'.
    Huh. Neat.
  • HalosHalos San FranciscoPosts: 1,435Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    edited November 2017
    At some point the Achaean language police decided that matt is acceptable and matte isn't (see furniture). Any time you see matte now it should be typo'd

    Melodie
  • KryptonKrypton shi-KhurenaPosts: 2,377Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    We use British spellings, but Imperial measurements. Truly, Achaea is the composite of the best of our worlds.
    (Mhaldor): Herenicus says, "Apologies, I am in-and-out of hold with Verizon wireless customer service."
    TorinnShirszae
  • AralayaAralaya Posts: 734Member ✭✭✭✭✭ - Grand Achaean
    Imperial measurements suck! :(
    Base 10 > Base Fuckyou 


    Tecton-Today at 6:17 PM

    teehee b.u.t.t. pirates
    Tysandr
  • JadysJadys Posts: 195Member ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Hi everyone. Got a tailoring permit thinking I'd give it a try. My first design has been returned twice now, and I could use some help interpreting the rejection. The line in question is:

    Sophistication at its best, this breathtaking gown features a strapless, sweetheart neckline and form fit, closely following the curves of the body from the bared arms and shoulders to the tops of the thighs before releasing into a cascade of shimmering intensity.

    The rejection is that "a cascade of shimmering intensity" is subjective and inappropriate. The original was "a cascade of shimmering ecstasy." I am trying to describe the degree of the shimmer. It's not a subtle shimmer, so I am trying to describe it as a frenzied, intense, ecstatic, brilliant, fervent, whatever shimmer. 

    Any help is appreciated. Thanks.
  • KryptonKrypton shi-KhurenaPosts: 2,377Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    an intensely shimmering cascade
    a cascade of intensely bright shimmers
    cascading in vibrant shimmers

    dazzling shimmers
    vividly shimmering

    I think the main problem is that "intensity" and "ecstasy" suggest, in part, an opinion of the viewer, which is not allowed in designs.
    (Mhaldor): Herenicus says, "Apologies, I am in-and-out of hold with Verizon wireless customer service."
    JadysExelethril
  • SenaSena Posts: 3,879Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    The problem I see is that "shimmering ecstasy/intensity" is very different from "intense/ecstatic shimmering". The former sounds pretty figurative and subjective, and I would never have guessed that the latter was the intended meaning.
    AhmetAntoniusJadysExelethril
  • ShaydeShayde Posts: 347Member ✭✭✭✭✭ - Grand Achaean
    You will also need to mention the light source which will cause it to shimmer. 'Blah blah can't shimmer in the dark'



    Jadys
  • JadysJadys Posts: 195Member ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Thank you everyone!
  • SolnirSolnir Posts: 532Member ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Submitted, approved, completed.

    Appearance: an immense, rugged shield of earth and stone
    Dropped: A pile of disturbed earth and stone in the shape of a shield lies here.
    Examined: Large chunks of stone bound by earth make up this colossal shield, with strips of dragonleather within to wield it. The outer stones are engraved with runic symbols, producing a faint heat and a pulsing vermilion glow.

    Appearance: an imposing scythe of sharpened stone and earth
    Dropped: A large earthen scythe is here, melding into the ground.
    Examined: The long earthen handle of this scythe is wrapped tightly with dragonleather to provide ease of gripping, while the heft of the weapon is in its blade. Sharpened to a razor's edge, the blade is a solid piece of curved stone, runic symbols engraved along it that pulse with a faint heat and vermilion glow.

    I know they aren't perfect, but I'm super, super stoked they got approved. :D
    AralayaTorinnKyrraXias
  • SyndraSyndra Posts: 19Member ✭✭✭ - Distinguished
    edited December 2017
    All approved (crit pendant)

    an anatomical heart and soulspear charm pendant

    Luminous silver, rendered into a fifteen-inch long chain, gleams like a polished corona, each linked loop delicate in its lustre, but undeniably sturdy in construction. Not even the throes of battle or daily wear will rive this pendant from its owner's throat. The chain coils sinuously around the neck, draped across the the protrusion of the wearer's collarbones, and suspends two sinister charms. Carved into an anatomically-correct humanoid heart, the left charm shimmers as if fresh blood still pumps through it. The effect caused by the faceted rubies studding its globular surface. The important parts of the organ are visible in miniature: the triple aortic tubes bulging from the top, both broad ventricles, and tiny snaking slivers of flowing obsidian marking veins and arteries. The right charm is radiant in its simple construction, an elongated spear of murky crystal with swirls of molten gold gleaming inside the milky gemstone. The tip of the soulspear menaces with deadly intent, honed to a vicious silver-plated point despite being a simple charm.
    AegothTaryiusMinifie
  • KlendathuKlendathu Eye of the StormPosts: 2,682Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    @Syndra:

    I'd join these two sentences with a comma, because the second seems incomplete:
    Carved into an anatomically-correct humanoid heart, the left charm shimmers as if fresh blood still pumps through it. The effect caused by the faceted rubies studding its globular surface.

    I would add a comma between 'point' and 'despite' in the last sentence.

    The last three sentences all begin with 'The', you could join the last two into a single sentence with a little light editing.

    Tharos, the Announcer of Delos shouts, "It's near the end of the egghunt and I still haven't figured out how to pronounce Clean-dat-hoo."
  • MinifieMinifie Posts: 1,333Member @ - Epic Achaean
    edited December 2017
    With help from Krypton at the start and the final touches from Trey:

    a slender scimitar of ink-black steel

    A masterfully-crafted scimitar lies here, dark smoke wisping methodically

    Crafted with a single purpose in mind, the gentle curve of this blade looks ready to part mail and flesh alike with effortless ease. Three feet of glossy black steel, its razor edge gleams evilly in any light, and trails curious tendrils of dark smoke, like smouldering brimstone. The hilt is carven snakewood in the stylised likeness of a sea serpent, its strong knucklebow guard of polished steel travelling from the base of the blade to the open mouth on the pommel. The wooden surface has been oiled with care, the dappled patterns giving the wood its name rippling in stark contrast like adder skin. Inlaid into the face of the guard, three perfect sapphires sparkle brilliantly, their vivid blueness almost glowing with their own luminescence. Etched near-invisibly into the throat of the blade is a minute smith's mark: crossed rapiers over a forge, the initials "T.A." to either side in flowing calligraphy.
    Tysandr
  • KlendathuKlendathu Eye of the StormPosts: 2,682Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    'has been' is the devil's work. Is. Not has been. Also, you're missing a space between 'and' and 'flesh' in the first sentence. 'the dappled patterns that give the wood its name'

    Otherwise I like it :)

    Tharos, the Announcer of Delos shouts, "It's near the end of the egghunt and I still haven't figured out how to pronounce Clean-dat-hoo."
    KyrraShirszae
  • MinifieMinifie Posts: 1,333Member @ - Epic Achaean
    Klendathu said:
    'has been' is the devil's work. Is. Not has been. Also, you're missing a space between 'and' and 'flesh' in the first sentence. 'the dappled patterns that give the wood its name'

    Otherwise I like it :)
    the space was from editing into the forum post, fortunately I didn't let -that- go through :D
  • LhexLhex Posts: 23Member
    I have some tailor designs I want to make for Lhex, but I want to have them looked over before I submit them (and get them non-decayed because I really like the look of them). Woot for ice figurines. Any suggestions and whatnot welcome! Spoilered because there are eight designs.

    -- Jerkin (1 figurine)


    Appearance: a sleeveless and hooded ebon leather jerkin


    Dropped: A sleeveless jerkin lies here in a heap of ebon leather 


    Examined: Made of simple ebon leather, this unadorned jerkin is bereft of its sleeves in standard fashion. Small silver buttons hold the garment closed. A rather deep hood sits atop the cloak, the insides lined with an equally dark cloth. The tail of the jerkin reaches down to the wearer's knees, the leather splitting at the waist.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Doublet (1 figurine)


    Appearance: a simple, loose-fitting ivory doublet


    Dropped: A simple doublet lies here in a heap of ivory cloth.


    Examined: Made of simple white cloth, this unadorned doublet is rather airy and loose on the wearer. Thin white ropes allow the garment to be pulled closed and tied. While the upper arms of the sleeves remain light and loose, the forearms of the garment fit closely, almost tightly, to the wearer.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Trousers (1 figurine)


    Appearance: a pair of loose-fitting ebon trousers


    Dropped: A pair of sturdy trousers lies here in a heap of ebon cloth.


    Examined: Made of simple ebon cloth, this unadorned pair of trousers is rather airy and loose on the wearer. Lacking a buckle or drawstrings, the trousers bear loops designed specifically for thin belts. While the waist and thighs of the trousers remain light and loose, the calves of the garment fit closely, almost tightly, to the wearer.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Boots (1 figurine)


    Appearance: a pair of knee-high ebon leather traveling boots


    Dropped: A pair of slightly dusty black leather traveling boots sit here.


    Examined: Made of simple ebon leather, these traveling boots are thick and durable. Reaching to a little below the knee of the wearer, the boots bear multiple silver buckles meant to make the boots a snug and firm fit for the wearer. The soles are thick and heavy, ready for the wear and tear of adventure.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Deck (2 figurines)


    Appearance: an ebon leather tarot deck


    Dropped: A slim ebon leather deck lies here in a heap of leather straps.


    Examined: This black leather tarot deck is of simple design, lacking any decoration past a symbol of a grinning horned mask imprinted front and center. Two long leather straps and silver buckles are meant to be used to strap the deck to the wearer's thigh, where the wearer would be able to easily draw and use the cards held within.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Belt (1 figurine)


    Appearance: an ebon leather belt with a grinning mask buckle


    Dropped: A simple leather belt lies here, the mask buckle shining dully.


    Examined: Made of simple ebon leather, this thin belt lacks any decoration past its silver buckle. The silver has been shaped into a small horned mask, the mouth of it grinning broadly. Its eyes are similarly contorted in humour, and laugh lines give the mask some semblance of realism.


    ------------------------------------


    -- Gloves (1 figurine)


    Appearance: ebon leather forearm gloves


    Dropped: Simple gloves lies here in a heap of ebon leather.


    Examined: Made of simple ebon leather, these gloves are most notably long enough to cover the forearms of the wearer. The gloves leave the thumb, forefinger, and middle finger uncovered. Dark drawstrings lace the underside of the forearm gloves, meant to be pulled tight and tied off.

    Cailin
  • KryptonKrypton shi-KhurenaPosts: 2,377Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    Missed one :/

    A shrieking cackle echoes through your mind as your grasp the daemonic skull in your hand.
    (Mhaldor): Herenicus says, "Apologies, I am in-and-out of hold with Verizon wireless customer service."
  • AntoniusAntonius Posts: 4,324Member @@ - Legendary Achaean

    The dropped description doesn't make sense. How does a skull wrap about a chain? I assume you meant that the chain is wrapped about the skull, but you've said the opposite.

  • AhmetAhmet Wherever I wanna bePosts: 3,370Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    You have an extra comma in the first sentence, too.
    Huh. Neat.
  • ArmaliArmali Posts: 931Member, Secret Squirrel ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Does it cost extra to redo typos?
  • KryptonKrypton shi-KhurenaPosts: 2,377Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I just TYPO designs.
    (Mhaldor): Herenicus says, "Apologies, I am in-and-out of hold with Verizon wireless customer service."
    SthenoTaryius
  • TaryiusTaryius Posts: 358Member ✭✭✭✭ - Eminent
    Oh, alas, the many mistakes of a poor writer. Thank you guys for putting the scrutiny goggles on and finding what I missed, they should be remedied soon enough!
  • XandirXandir Posts: 5Member
    Got this approved a couple of weeks ago, but I thought I'd share here! Let me know what you guys think?

    Appearance: an onyx bow inset with rubies
    Dropped: A magnificent bow has been dropped here, shimmering brightly.
    Examined: Crafted of a single vein of onyx, this bow runs an impressive five feet in length, the ends curved outward and capped in high grade silver. The face of the bow is broad and smooth with masterfully cut rubies set firmly in place within the very onyx. In the middle of the bow, a handle has been fashioned of thick leather, molded to provide a comfortable fit for the wielders hand. Sweeping back from the face of the bow, the rest of the onyx has been meticulously carved to resemble wings of great detail. Fashioned from a high grade of silver above the handle, an arrow rest resembles the beak of a large Saker falcon, open to issue a valiant war-cry. Protruding from the right side of the bow are two silver talons, spaced about a foot apart and positioned so as the talons can hold a few spare arrows. The unblemished surface of the bow and the gems inset catch and reflect each bit of light as it plays across the length of the weapon.
    KyrraMinifieTysandrShirszae
  • KyrraKyrra Sanctum of the SkyPosts: 4,459Member @@ - Legendary Achaean
    I love the mental imagery of that bow. Trey's broken me for fantasy weapons though so I'm wondering how it functionally works as a bow when it's made from stone.
    (D.M.A.): Cooper says, "Kyrra is either the most innocent person in the world, or the girl who uses the most innuendo seemingly unintentionally but really on purpose."

    Minifie
  • NazihkNazihk Posts: 843Member @ - Epic Achaean
    Darkbows are made from obsidian and I've never understood how it works, but at least there's precedent here. :(

  • XandirXandir Posts: 5Member
    Kyrra said:
    I love the mental imagery of that bow. Trey's broken me for fantasy weapons though so I'm wondering how it functionally works as a bow when it's made from stone.
    Uh... idk, magic?
  • MinifieMinifie Posts: 1,333Member @ - Epic Achaean
    Xandir said:
    Kyrra said:
    I love the mental imagery of that bow. Trey's broken me for fantasy weapons though so I'm wondering how it functionally works as a bow when it's made from stone.
    Uh... idk, magic?
    you put the arrow in the quiver and throw that heavy mofo straight at a dude's head.

    Make sure you envenom the string, that thing will get into someone's eye for that sweet paralysis.
    TysandrShirszae
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